John Lester Barstow to Laura
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I want to write you a long letter but I cannot do it here, as I have no paper or
pen, and have to write, laying flat on the ground no chair, no table. When I
wrote you last it was just as were starting for the enemy, & I had not heard
from you for a long while & feet very anxious to know the reason - I knew
that I was going into action & that as likely as any way I might never write
you again - but a merciful providence has brought me safe out of ten thousand
perils since I wrote you before. After I wrote, I started off immediately,
crossed the Bay, & there stayed (on the ground) three days for all the rest
of the Army to cross - then started - the 8th Vermont ahead - in about 2 hours
we came up on the rebels - thier first shot was a Six pound Cannon ball - it
came within 4 feet of me & the Payiment, we thought this was pretty close
but soon found that if was nothing to what we were to
have - for 7 days we were right under the Enemy 2 fire,
and sometimes it was fearful - 4 men in my company were hit, many
were have been morn out - when we have marched at all we have had
to go at least 15 miles a day - fording rivers &
fighting on way along - if you want the particulars you must buy - While I was
asleep on emight in a cornfield, the mail boy came up & make up & gave
me a Letter & a paper - the Letter for was from you dated Feby
28th in which you said you was sick It is of
no use for me to tell you my feelings I could think of nothing else night or
day. I thought over your former illness & wished a thousand times, that I
was at home to take care of you - The third day afterwards I got your Letter of
March 10th in which you said you were very much better
& I assure you it was a great relief to me I hope you may never be sick a
day, again, until I get home though when that will be. - the Lord only knows -
we have had some awful hard fighting, though most of it has been with
Cannon - We are now, as I expect going to the Red River. Thence to the
Mississippi to attack Port Hudson or Vicksburgh. Although I have endured
hardships in this last trip, such as I never did before I am again well and in
good health. - Being now a Captain I am required to walk
instead of ride - Many of the Captains do ride. & I could have had a horse every step, if I chose, but it is contrary to
Army Regulations & so I would not ride - My feet were
sore, blistered, & raw - but so were those of my
men, & I stood it with the rest of them - I must stop writing - Give my love
to all your folks. I feel grateful & thankful for being brought through the
perils of our fight - safely - for 3 days it was like a
constant peal of thunder - & we were right in it - Wherever I am, and
whatever becomes of me in my my future trials, be
assured, I shall not disgrace myself, my family, or State - I am proud of my
Regiment, & my reputation in it & shall do my duty - & if I am
wounded or killed, my thoughts will be constantly with you - & I earnestly
request you to be prepared to hear, with perfect tranquility, & composure,
at any time that I am one of that envied multitude who have died
for their country
Yours as everLester
Of course I can not get any other paper or any pen or I should not send such a looking Letter to you I have got to go to the Generals to get a pen to direct it