Publication InformationConstantinople Oct 17' 1853

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Dear Baird

I am glad to learn by your book on snakes, that the Heterodan (what's that, odd-toothed?) 'hisses violently'. I know that in a learned newspaper discussion I read (perhaps you took a part in it) scripture was refered to to prove, that serpents hiss, and the fact being denied on the other side. I thereupon determined to reject the Bible and turn Turk, which I publicly did in Santa Sophia, about three months since. ..Nathless, my conscience troubled me, and finding by your immortal works, that some serpents hiss, I have returned to Christianity, and shall propose to the Universalist University, Norwich, Vermont, to make you and Girard jointly D.D. for your noble and triumphant defense of scripture truth against the infidel sneers of modern scientists. I am happy to add that this important doctrine is entertained by the testimony of Dr Sandwith and Mrs Marsh who have heard snakes hiss 'more than a hundred times' apiece which I, being perhaps too much inclined to the sin of skepticism, never did.

Since writing the above, I find upon consulting Cruden, that scripture does say they hiss, but in the contrary, by its silence on this point, rather gives currency to the supposition, that they are silent also, and I am now minded to relapse into Islamism again. I wish by the way, you would discuss the question whether porpoises really . They pass under my window every day. I have watched them by the hour and never heard a breath from the lips of one of them. I hope that venerable old saying 'to puff like a porpus' is n't founded on a vulgar error. Pray enlighten me. You can't imagine how refreshing these scientific revelations are to blind, ignorant, doubters like me. I have perused Darwin's Occultations for 1853 with unfeigned satisfaction. There is a touching beauty in the gracefully irregular alterations of plus and minus in some of the columns, and an imposing regularity in the column headed Log cos D. In short, I see nothing to criticise in this highly imaginative work, unless it be the versification in which the same rhyme appears to be too often repeated. Virginus, for example, often occurs five-six times in uninterrupted succession. The like is true of Gemini and Capricorn, not to speak of Sagittarius and [Aphui]. These are brave words no doubt, but I submit to Mr Darwins What thine may be too much even of a good thing.

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You know I wrote you some story about the shrinkage of your spirits of wine. Well, I believe the sailors drank up half of it (you didn't put tartar emetic in it) and if I didn't suppose you'ld make me pay for it, I would own that I believed my servants swallowed half of the other half. But there is some left after all. Now I brought from the Red Sea and the Dead Sea, and Jordan, and the four rivers of Paradise, and the fountain of Elisha, and the rivers of Lethe and Acheron, and Cocytus, and Phlegthon and Paropamisus, and a great many other places out here, the very names of which are unknown to you, but that I am just as familiar with as you are with Rock Creek or Columbian Tiber, several bottles of vermin, and I have had many more caught here, enough to fill a keg, or maybe two. I know you are vain of your reptiles, and that you often boast yourself, "there is no nastiness like the nastiness of "my snakery"! but when you shall have handled these creepers, you will confess they are the devilishest lot you ever clawed over. They'll go one of these days, and I will write you by what ship. Also a small box of shells and other rubbish such as seeds c.

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Your pretence that a sponge dipped in ether will kill coleoptera and so forth is a hoax. It won't kill a gnat. They only go to sleep, and wake up the hungrier. I had a good many insects, but they got eaten up during my absence. I suppose you kiss Mary sometimes, If not you may do it now for me, & c farewell

thineG. P M.

Prof S. F. Baird

References in this letter:

A Heterodan is a hognose snake.

One of the great monuments of Byzantine architecture, Santa Sophia or Hagia Sophia, located in Constantinople, built as a Christian church, was converted into a mosque, and is now a museum.

A French herpetologist and ichthyologist, Charles Frederic Girard (1822-1895) trained under Agassiz but left his post after an argument. When Baird hired Girard as his principal assistant without consulting Agassiz, Agassiz was furious and this incident marked the beginning of a growing estrangement between the two men. Girard co-authored several works with Baird.

Humphrey Sandwith was the British Embassy physician in Constantinople during Marsh's stay as United States Minister.

Alexander Cruden, A Complete Concordance to the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testament. Originally published in 1800, there were many revised editions.

four rivers of Paradise According to Iranian Islamic tradition, Paradise is an enclosed garden with four rivers flowing from it.

This is a reference to the fountain of Elisha outside of Jericho. According to the Biblical story, drinking the water made women barren. Elisha, a 9th century Hebrew prophet, threw salt into the fountain, destroying it power. (Second Kings, 2: 19-22).

In Greek and Roman mythology, Hades, or the underworld is separated from the world of the living by five rivers: Lethe, river of forgetfulness; Acheron, river of woe, Cocytus, river of wailing, Phlegthon, river of fire. The Styx, which Marsh does not mention, is the river of hatefulness.

A mountain range in northwest Afghanistan; stretching from the Hindu Kush into Iran.

A stream that runs through the city of Washington

The Potomac River.