T here’s No Going Back

 

BY JAY SCHUSTER

Every time a gay/lesbian rights
issue comes up, it seems some-
one, somewhere, reacts to the
negative attention of our oppo-
nents by asking that we be on our
“best behavior.” What they often
mean is that we should closet our-
selves for the duration of the bat-
tle.

This came up repeatedly in our
fights to pass gay rights legisla-
tion, hate crime legislation, and
marriage legislation. Even now,
l’ve heard murmurs in our own
community that we should “lay
low” so that our opponents will
not unseat our allies in November.

There are several reasons why
I think closeting ourselves, as a
way to achieve our rights, is
repugnant.

One argument used for laying
low is that the ends justify the
means. The potential reward is so
big that suffering for a little while
is no big deal. Unfortunately, the
“temporary” suffering has a way
of lasting longer and longer, so
that, in the end, the means have
become the ends, and staying in
the closet has become the norm.

From an outside observer’s

point of view, one who was not
told of the trade-off made, it
would seem that we had won the
right to be out of the closet in
exchange for staying in the closet.
That’s a pretty empty victory.

Another argument against
going back in the closet is, simply,
that it is impossible. No matter
how hard you try, some people
will always know, and will think
of you when scapegoating time
comes. You could be a gay male
couple living in the most liberal
suburb in America, and if some-
one’s teenage boy disappeared
under mysterious circumstances,
do you really believe that your
names wouldn’t be brought up as
possible suspects? You could be
as assimilated as you could possi-
bly get, and you would still be
marked.

The best argument for not clos-
eting ourselves to get our rights,
however, is a simple one: our
opponents will have won if we
closet ourselves. Our opponents
would like nothing more than for
all of us to just disappear. Their
goal in oppressing us is to make
us invisible. They want to isolate

every single one of us so that we
can’t come together in support, so
that we can’t come together in
families, and so that we can’t
come together in power.

Life was like that once for me,
and it was horrible. I have no
plans to ever go back to it, no mat-
ter how temporarily.

So, in the end, when these bat-
tles are being fought, we should
not closet ourselves. We should be
up-front and honest with our fam-
ilies, friends, neighbors, cowork-
ers, and even strangers on the
street. They need to see that their
votes affect real people — people
they live with, work with, and
share the community with. Many
of these people do not write letters
to the editor, take out advertise-
ments in newspapers, or join
political groups, but they do vote.
lf you can make one of them
remember you when they cast
their vote this fail, you will have
done all of us a great service.

Jay Schuster lives in
Colchester.V

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