38 | Out in the Mountains |June 2000
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Spadola, herself the daughter of a lesbian,
wanted the film to illustrate that being a
good parent is not easy. “I think it’s hard to
be a good parent and I wanted to show that
it does take more than love to make it
work,” she said. “Being in a gay and lesbian
family does complicate interactions with the
outside world.”

While we learn about some of the diffi-
culties these families have experienced, we
also hear about the successes. Spadola inter-
views a family of Mormons whose father is
gay, and explores how the daughters work
through issues of the church for themselves.
The oldest daughter explains that she cannot
be a part of the Monnon church because of
their views on homosexuality, but under-
stands that her mother and younger sister are
willing to overlook that view because other
aspects of the church are so important in
their lives.

In contrast to the Mormon family, we also
meet an African American family in the film
who attend an openly gay congregation,
where -they celebrate through song and
prayer. While one of the mothers mentions
that the kids don’t really like sitting still and
concentrating in’ church, as soon as the
music and singing take hold, the kids smile
and begin dancing. When Spadola inter-
views one of the boys about what he says to
his friends about having two moms, he

replies, ‘‘I’m too busy playing to tell my
friends I have two moms.”

The film wraps up with a look at a fami-
ly in New York City, with two moms who
each gave birth to a daughter. One mom
talks about the importance of their family
policy to not answer the question “Who’s
the real mom?” Ry is '17 and graduating
from high school as her mother notes that
she can’t believe her oldest daughter is
about to graduate. Cade, who’s 19 and a les-
bian is very supportive of her straight sister,
and even helps dress Ry’s boyfriend for the
ceremony.

Spadola also explores the different ways
these families were created. Some families
adopted, others had children from previous
marriages; some planned on getting preg-
nant, intentionally, others chose the artificial
insemination method. The cultures,
incomes, and races covered in the film add
to its mind-opening message of commonali-
ties within diverse lines.

The project was funded by ITVS and the
Soros Documentary Fund of the Open
Society Institute. V