June 2000 | Out in the Mountains |37

: a&e

A REVIEW BY KENDRA HENSON

“l’ve spent my whole life explaining
my family to people who just don’t get it,”
quips Ry, a 17-year-old straight woman
with two moms and a lesbian sister. Ry is

_one of the children interviewed for Our

House. Producer and director Meema
Spadola tells the stories of five families
who go grocery shopping, eat dinner
together, go to church, and love each
other. The difference between these fami-
lies and typical “all-American” families is
that they’ve had to justify their love to the
heterosexual world. A

The film starts off with each child shar-
ing the most frequently asked questions
and used lines in regards to their family,
including such classics as “You call them
both Mom? How do you tell them
apart?!”'and “I’m not a freak because my
dad’s gay." Most of the children inter-
viewed in Our House are junior high and
high school aged. Their feelings and expe-
riences are articulated through strong
senses of self and desire to deliver a mes-
sage that family is about love, support,
and encouragement. They demonstrate
that their families are made up of the
ingredients necessary to be a real, loving
family.

“I wanted to demonstrate that children
of gay and lesbian parents come in all dif-
ferent shapes, colors, economic back-
grounds, religions, geographic locations,
etc,” Spadola said in a phone interview. “I
wanted to break the stereotype people
have that gay and lesbian families are all
white, well-to-do people, living in upper-
class neighborhoods. When people think
about gay and lesbian families they gener-
ally don’t think about Mormon families,
or African American families who take

their children to church.”

The family that first appears in the film
is made up of a Latino father the kids call
“Papa,” their father from New York they
call “Dad,” and five adopted children
ranging in age from 13 to four years old.
Spadola interviews Daniel, the 13-year-
old, while Papa teaches Jessica how to put
on stockings without getting a run.

Spadola wanted the film to show that
gay and lesbian families live the same
lives as their heterosexual counterparts.
The one difference is the reality that
homophobia does exist in our society.
“Homophobia is real. It does affect the
kids of gay and lesbian parents. They have
to go through their own type of coming-
out process when they tell their friends,”
said Spadola.

Jessica, who is nine, responds to most
questions almost as if they seem silly.
“My parents might get married someday...
maybe in Hawaii or something.” She tells
Spadola that she doesn’t talk about gay
rights issues with her parents. “I don’t
even know what they are,” she says. So
much for the hidden gay agenda.

The next family Spadola interviews
consists of two moms with their 23-year-
old son and_l 5-year-old daughter, a work-
ing-class family living deep in the heart of
the Bible Belt in Arkansas. When asked if
their neighbors know that their parents are
gay, both reply that they don’t think so.
Cary wonders how his neighbors would
have concerns about his family “as long
as we’re on our own property.” Ryan, who
dealt with threats and violence in her
school when classmates learned of her
two mothers, seems a bit more shy in
responding to questions.

A very
very very  
fine house

§°3§§§S§ :1» P 3?

 

  

Available on video from The Cinema Guild

Produced and directed
by Meema Spadola