TWENTY lly lllnmas nlinninu Put Your D II right, pumpkins, I Agive you fair warn- ing. This column is not going to be gentle or nice. It is filled with judgments and observation that are frank and a tad damaging to certain parties. There is your warning; read on at your own risk. Do you know who really gets my boxers in a bunch? Gay men, that’s who. Pumpkins, I have had my fill of shirtless, overly conceit- ed Neanderthals who place lnore value on their erections than their communities and go- go wannabes who perpetuate and propagate male chauvin- ism, This tedious and tired group have all the privileged arrogance of the football star and all the need to find valida- ‘tion through objectification often associated with his .ste,re,otypical cheerleader girl- ,friend.. _ _ . V _,,Maybe,;l ..sho_i_il_cl. giveflthis . breed credit for being‘t‘he_walk- ing embodiment of the.all- . American dysfunctional_ cou- ple, but what I truly feellike giving them is the gong. I am sure they feel they have a right to be valued. After all, they have strived so hard to be seen as the mirror image of their perversely overprivileged straight brother and spent so Cypsfairs Blue Mirrored Coffee Table 5178 Glass Front Bookcase 5190 Oak Printer's Cabinet $850 Large Variety of Garden accessories $10 and up Good stuff at fair prices. 207 Flynn Ave. above Three Old Bats across the street from Whistle Stop Antiques Burlington (802) 859-8966 Store Hours Tue-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 1-S 8llMET||||l|ll'l much on ads including phrases like ‘str8 acting’ and iso ‘real’ guy- Here’s a news flash for all you Lil’ Abners on XTC: Matthew Shepard was killed by two ‘real’ straight-acting guys. Very hot, huh? I have nothing against sex or good-looking guys. Heaven knows I have had my share of ‘ sexual experiences and have been known on more than one occasion to listen to that little voice inside me looking for its base needs to be met. I have nothing against taking care of yourself and celebrating life amongst your peers. Again, I have been known on many an occasion to ‘celebrate,’ many times above and beyond the call of duty. People are free to live their lives the way they choose — that is, until the way that they live their lives affects 7 the quality of my life. :Thi___s ,need___ to define and value . yourself within.‘ the archaicand demonstrative con- ,0 _’character and hoping to share fines of chauvinist heterosexu- ality is not only shameful but harmful. It is within the para- I meters of that chauvinist ‘het- erosexual mindset — the one that views ownership, power, and privilege as a right of pas- sage and natural order — that homophobia, sexism,‘ and iverslty Where Your Mouth Is countless other -isms breed. The idea that one type of person is more valued, more the ideal, is exactly the type of thing that helped construct the events that left Matthew Shepard pistol-whipped and Billy Jack Gaither beaten and burned. It is exactly the type of mindset that helps encourage the assumption that rape isn’t violent, just assertive. This idea that anyone has the right to;gsay something as siexist as “noufemmes,” something as si~z'eist as “no fatties,” or as ageist as “older guys not want- ed” is a nod to the lunacy that was the ‘50s male psyche. Pumpkins, I completely understand being attracted to certain attributes; there is something sexy about a fire- man oozing with primal mas- culinity. I am not deaf to the sexual fantasies’ of men, but I dothink there‘ is a difference between fantasy and reality. "That’s the difference between asking to share your life with a your life with a person. Judging others and advertis- ing those judgments is just another ‘ form of oppression, another way of mimicking what has been done to the gay community. Is it just me, or is there a popular notion, taken 1 ~< rm go YoUR BUSINESS 9 A A . 802-863-2300 Hours: 9:30 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. Monday - Saturday I . 350 Dorset Street °- South Burlington, Vermont 05403 (Tum 14‘? on San Remo Drive) -..‘-'7' FL 0 W E R s April 2000 Out in the Mountains 15 from the larger community and amplified, that we have the right to assert a social domi- nance over one another? That some types are more valued then others, and having that value means that they can expect to be more privileged? Why does the gym queen feel he has the right to judge the drag queen? Why do the assim- ilationists think that they can look down on the leather bears or monogamists feel they should sneer at polygamists? Who wants to get anywhere if they have to step on the backs of others to get there? It is homophobic to use these standards to judge your value and the value of others. A single person is no less valu- able than a person in a relation- , ship, and leather pants are no more acceptable than wool crepe pants. It is all how we choose to live ‘_our lives. Pumpkins, a life spent knock- ing each other down just tolfeel good about ourselves is a life. spent toeing social norms meant to keep people in boxes so the privileged can continue to enjoy that privilege. Maybe we all had a crush on the football quarterback or track. star when we were in high school. Maybe we were all a little envious of the beau- tiful girl in the exclusive ‘circle. I will go so far as to sayithat maybe we all felt a little excluded from that circle or set. Does that mean that we have to emulate those charac- teristics now that we are older, more popular, more attractive — or sadly enough, now that we ' peace? V have found a different person or group to whom we can our- selves play ‘more than?’ A little over a year ago, I said that although we didn’t pistol-whip Matthew Shepard, we did not take the gun away from his assailants, either. Every time we devalue some- one based on who they are without knowing them, we put the pistol in the hands of anoth- er potential assailant. Hate breeds hate. Fear breeds fear. It is really that simple. Looking for the straight-act- ing frat boy because somehow it is as close as you’re going to get to a straight man and you need that straight man valida- tion is homophobic. That homophobia can steal the life from someone in your commu- nity —— maybe even yours. We don’t live in a vacuum. We ask the world to celebrate our diversity, yet time and again, we chastise that diversi- ty. It may be in subtle ways: a comment, a personal ad, a joke or slur meant to amuse. It may be a catty comment by the rich gay couple about their ‘friend’s’ misfortune, or the attitude we give the ‘SoHo queer.’ Oppression from within doesn’t have to hit us over the head. More; likely it is subtle and constant, and slowly erodes our self-worth, esteem andconfidence. We all live in glass houses, so isn’t it time we just put down our stones and learned to live ‘together in ,--.~i- (Locatadin dlesmnespaoeasjamnefllzflodst) The ]eweler‘s Bench _ , Custom Design $2-’;’.:‘.‘l"l.,.“i,".i”‘.’. leWe117RePairins Fine Handcrafted jewelry 260 North Main Street, Barre, VT 05641 ~ &)2-479-1496 Vt toll free: 877-557-7256 -' email: ppalunzboésovennet We Children; PRIDE cEMTR&Lg Your snaz ’s. ma3a2ines,jewell'y. music,‘ roducfs. molfi-culfural 4 socially conscious gicfsl 8Y2 . " ' *3‘ : Q I a ' xv lags, tireeétooij rings. Peace & Justice Store 21 Church Street Open Seven Days 863-8326 J