December1999 Out in the Mountains 25

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The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green... ...by Eric 01-ner
W I WARREN BEATTY AL GORE

ETHAN GREEN, FUNNY PAGES PUNDIT Knowing and liking PAT BUCHANAN legendarvqrurteyot Ishtar Sweet, decent. Walter _
GIVES THE EARLY HANDICAP oN THE PRESIDENTIAL A kid’; pom is muse My grandma used to say "anyone :fo"nd;u‘m;::";;§'::::: Mondalesque. With an older _ I  1;
RACE FOR 2000. To hire a baby giner, who's gotta deny being an anti- mop me Houywood “mi Brother-wiseguy who

not a Presidem_ semite probably is one." /A 99“ 0” llle lhl(k5-

  

 

  
  

 

LIDDY DOLE JOHN MCCAIN STEVE FORBES GARY BAUER ALAN KEYES l3lLL BRADLEY
Goody-Goody War hero right Winger WlI0 Bllflffe Misler P90l10dY Dr. Evil’: Mini Me was for Like some tenor—gone-mad Thinks ”Don’t Ask Don't Tell”
Steel magnolia Control freak. 9"l°Y5 Pl55l"Q Olllhe Tlgl" 5P9"d5 M155 Mfll¢0m'S president. A Spooky reactionary at a bad night at the opera. Stinks. Not bad for starters.
wing. Hard not to like. trillions. elf, 5 . .. I

   

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Dykcs Towaech Out For byA1ison Bechdcl

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2 NOT GET NE) A
sExLIP;wrn1 BIG DISCUSSION. ‘
HIM.  '

  

sum»: HE USES HIS
NHALEK IF IIEJTARU

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OH! ITS GOMIA smw ‘tbNt,LDOK. IT'S IF wt? WAITED UNTIL we ALI. I CAN THINK ABOUT Is 11-toss I25PuIa»— AND How 'BOU1"fl-IE K>ssIaIL- GET )OUR 8109-)’ I BET )Iou'D Focus I'M SURE */ou’u Do ;
‘TDNIGHT,’ WE HAVE J'u5r NOT wORK- wens BOTH N we MOCD LICANS vmwe DOWN ‘ms comrazumsrve IT)’ 11-{AT OUR NEXT PRE5t- sI'RAIeHT. CMR- 2 merry Iww QUICK IF  _ :rusr FINE OM )bUR ~
To BRIIG N THEGRJI-L we FOR ME. 1 AND Bum HAD TiME,wE'l> TEST BAN TREATY.’ IT'S LIKE THE)’ WANT U5 DENT mu“, 3; A M" w|1'H .¢E_ ,5 .1-1“; g. a IT wAs GINGER Lyme own. IIIIIENI YOU'RE j
HAVE12) BE N1II£ ea DEAD. THAT'S way we Tosurzu UP IN A NUCLEAR Akmssvoou! -mg cucrutw, LITERAO] oFA ECT|oN,NUcL£AR HERE N511-‘AD OFME. DoNE.<oI~\E HELP ME
- .  ~ . J HEAD .oF ICEBERG Lfiwct? " " Md/E1HEGRlL- ,
- DoE§»Ir'n.yxr cooL>0URARDoR? "

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Mo! WHAT CAN >w
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you'P£ PNPONIZING A

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we RE IN THE EXAc1'5A~Ig :
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I'M NOTHAVNG AN Armin . , Look.17\t<£ >burz !  PARTICULARLY A-rA1mI~: «Merl 'lHEP£3 SOMETHING
IM IUSTSAVING. my cwsa . “W E uNDeI6rANI> ITCAN ms LESBIAN AND eAy POLIT- mono wrru «HAT
VEGAN GR,1DA55IsTAN1'. OURSELVES OFF16 LIFE'S "MT “Rf” BETHREATENING ‘Ib LET IcAI_ ESTABLISHMENT Is Amunsm; Bu1'I'/'4
|SrJ‘r Irprnzoucvitiés RICH PAGEANT? IF on: W W6 Go oF1itEPKl'RlN?¢lMI. EAGEK'Ib me me MESSAGE Too NUMBED By cop.-
LWEK Is Goon, vbuuwr RELATIONSHIP MODEL. THAT I/E'RE Au ma; Moms-g PbI1A1E NDNOCULWRE.
. _ Two amaze as Barren? AMoIIs1I-IANco'I'I'oN MKI1-IER. To I=Ic,uIzE IT our!

IDGA
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YOU'RE HAVING AN
AFFAIR! ITS THAT

    
    
  
  

    
    
    
 
 

UH, M35? mi-32:3 jomf. NOT POL‘/GAMY. POLY-
Tume I've BEEN WANT- ' AMOR‘/. HAVING om’.
N6 10 Discuss wrrrt )'oU. NICE. LIKE NONPOSSESSIVE RELA-
AND Now SEEMS LIKE 1ToNsmP$ wrni MUL-
THE RIGHTTIME. 1'... TIPLE PARTNERS.
I'D LIKE 10 EXPLORE  ‘

7‘ -1., IF‘

    

I HAVE To GETTHIS CHILD
OUT OF HERE BERXE SOME-
orie SELLS HER A"B\1' ‘ms
Bunny‘ woRI<oIrr VIDEO.

   

         
    
   
   

       

  

 

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