12 Out in the Mountains

 

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November 1999

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On the Sixth Day God Said...

H e fruitful and multi-
B ply.” (Genesis 1:28)
Historically there have
been lots of Jews and
Christians who did not heed
this command. Some of them
were even famous for ignoring
it. (The Virgin Mary comes
immediately to mind because
she even has “virgin” as part of
her name.) This brings up a
good point to raise with those
who torment us about the
“unnaturalness” of homosexu-
ality: how natural is virgin
birth?

Then you have women like
St. Pulcheria, who took a vow
of perpetual virginity and then
got married, and St. Etheldreda,
who insisted on the preserva-
tion of her virginity through
two marriages. Their husbands
can’t have been too happy.

The Third Council of
Constantinople (680-681) dic-
tated that “the spirit of unity is
superior to the joining of bod-
ies.” In the Middle Ages, Hugh
of St. Victor argued that the
ideals of Christian marriage are
most fully realized when the
marriage remains unconsum-
mated. Well, I have news for
them all. This is definitely not
the way to multiply.

The Holy Catholic Closet

The classic idea of the vestal
virgin who remained without

sex for some higher purpose-

was adopted by the Christian
church very early on. The fact
that Jesus Christ was apparent-
ly celibate encouraged those
who wished to imitate him to
follow the same lifestyle.

Roman Catholic nuns, pro-
fessional virgins after all, are
actually married to Christ with
wedding rings and pseudo-
wedding ceremonies, thus cre-
ating a kind of holy harem.
Priests are considered married
to the church, though why they
couldn’t also be married to
Christ, I don’t know. It’s not
like there is any sex involved
here, after all, just that old pas-
sionate friendship thing at
most.

Back in the early days of the
church, there were just two
lifestyle choices: marriage or

I the church. So where do you

suppose most gay men and les-
bians ended up? Of course;
they flocked to the nunneries
and monasteries.

The profound paradox here
is that the greatest persecution

of gay men and lesbians is by
the very church so many of
them have served and continue
to serve. But that’s what hap-
pens when you confuse sexual
activity with sexual orientation
-- or try to divide the two for
that matter. That’s why the
Pope and Jerry Falwell are still
preaching that quirky “love the

If you were an , early
Christian, figuring out what to
do about sex was a real prob-
lem. First you were told that the
most perfect response to the
Christian message was celibacy
and that the ONLY reason for
marriage was if you just could-
n’t stand it anymore. Then you
were told to be fruitfial and mul-

don’t enjoy it when you do it.
Don’t even think about mastur-
bation. In fact, don’t even think
about sex! If the cold shower
doesn’t work, a man might con-
sider a more radical solution —
become a eunuch!

Less is more?

Jesus says, “There are
eunuchs born that way from
their mother’s womb, there are
eunuchs made so by men and
there are eunuchs who have
made themselves that way for
the sake of the kingdom of

. heaven. Let anyone accept this
who can.” (Matthew 19: 1-12)
For those now reaching for the
Webster’s, a eunuch is a castrat-
ed male. Why would they DO
that? Well, you could get a
lucrative job as a harem guard
for your local sheik, or you

Priests are considered married to the church, though why they
couldn’t also be married to Christ, I don’t know.

sinner but hate the sin!” They
haven’t figured it out yet.

Just take a cold shower
Our old friend St. Paul
writes the following in his first
letter to the Corinthians, “Yes,
it is a good thing for a man not
to touch a woman. . .but if they
cannot control the sexual urges,
they should get married.”
(7:1,9) “Those who have wives
should live as though they had
none.” (7:29) “About remain-
ing celibate. . . .it is good for a
man to stay as he is. If you are
tied (TIED?) to a wife, do not
look for freedom, if you are
free of a wife do not look for
one. But if you marry, it is no
sin.” (7:25-28) Paul’s low opin-
ion of women comes through

so clearly here that I still won-'

der why none of them hauled
off and decked him!

ltiply and your bible offered

examples like old King
Solomon, with 700 wives and
300 concubines, going at it like
a crazed rabbit.

The devil made me do it

It took St. Augustine to final-
ly sort out this mixed message.
Of course, Augustine sowed his
own wild oats (one bloomed
into an illegitimate son) before
setting out strict laws for the
rest of us. His motto (from his
“Confessions”): “Give me
chastity and continence, but not
just now.” _

This is the gist of his writ-
ings and the stuff of church pol-
icy ever since: sex is the work
of the devil and the temptations
of the flesh must be fought
against with vigor. Get married
before you do it. Don’t do it if
you don’t want children, and

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could sing soprano in an all-
male choir, but Jesus was being
metaphorical here. He was
probably referring to a man
who was not sexually active
with women or to a biblical ver-
sion of a modern day drag
queen.

You also have the story of a
eunuch converted by St Philip
in Acts 8. The eunuch, a man of
"great authority who works for

the Queen of Ethiopia, meets
Philip along the road, asks him
many questions, and is soon
baptized by him. He is warmly
welcomed into the new
Christian church, but for him to
be fruitful and multiply he
would have to wear fruit on his
head like Carmen Miranda and
reach for his abacus!

It is abundantly clear, then,
that the command to be fruitful
and multiply was not meant for
everyone. On the contrary,
admiration, praise, a warm wel-
come, and apparently a place in
heaven went to those who
ignored it, so there is hope for
us all! V

Next time: The Bishop and
his Boyfriend.

For more information, see
John Boswell’s Christianity,
Social Tolerance and
Homosexuality

Charlie Emond has a bache-
lors degree from Queens
College and masters degrees
from both Dartmouth and
Keene State. He teaches college
history courses in Springfield
and White River Junction. This
January he will be teaching a
course he developed — Hidden
History.‘ Homosexuality in
Western Civilization — for the
Community College of Vermont
on line.

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