TWENTY 8llMH|||ll|l:l 20.3

by llinmas lienninu

Gearing Up for the Holidays,
Pumpkin Style

and, pumpkins, I am ready.

I have picked my theme for
this year, verified my color
palette, and outlined the par-
ties I will be hosting and the
main guest list that I will be
working from. I have decided
on my festive symbol and
identified the appropriate ven-
dors to purchase the matching

It is that time of year again,

sional fantasies of a world
where everyone is happy,
safe, and content are not only
encouraged but sold in every
department store in the form
of potpourri for $19.95.

Now the crabby spinster in
me realizes that it is absurd to
emulate peace, love, and hap-
piness from October through
December only — that it is

it is that time of year when delusional
fantasies of a world where everyone is
happy, safe, and content are not only
encouraged but sold in every department
store in the form of potpourri for $19.95.

tchotchkes for the gifts. I now
carry the correct paint chip
palettes so that I can purchase
the paper and ribbons on
moment’s notice while work-
ing on collecting the perfect
recipes to create the ideal
menu. That’s right, it is the
holiday season.

Anyone who knows me
knows that the event planner
in me kicks into overdrive
during the holidays. I am
obsessed, from Halloween to
New Year’s, with creating the
make-believe world of Shirley
Temple movies gone by. It is
that time of year when delu-

self-serving and pretentious to
buy into a capitalist fantasy of
aesthetically pleasing family
bliss. I know that. I know that
the holidays are not about the
gifts and the garlands. I
understand that there is more
to the season than wreaths and
cards of your family, which in
many cases is a series of holi-
day cards of pets made to do
ridiculous things in the inter-
est of looking cute. I ask you,
how are four Persian cats
pulling a Cocker Spaniel,
dressed like Saint Nick, on a
sleigh anything but embar-
rassing and kitschy in that I-

want-to-hurl sort of way? If
PETA wants to get up in arms
about anything I think it
should be that.

Anyhoo, I get that the holi-
days are more than glitz and
glitter, mulled cinder and
marzipan. It is about escape.
Oh bother, pumpkins, if you
are going to get politically
correct on me. We all know
what the holiday season is
about. It’s about denial and
guilt and creative ways of get-
ting that special someone to
buy you that Kitchen Aid
mixer you have been salivat-
ing over for the last 10 months
without them even noticing
because they are always to
busy looking at the cute
fathers toting the baby with
wifey no where to be found!

Oh, sorry, pumpkins, Ijust
tripped over a tangent.
Where was 1? Escape, yes, it
is all about escape. Telling
people how much they mean
to you over brunch even
though you dine with these
people 45 other times a year
and the only thing you think
to mention is how you’ve lost
weight as they have gained it.

I mean let’s just lay the
cards out on the table, shall
we? Yes, I am an aesthetics
whore. Yes, I’m having a sil-
ver and sage Christmas with
reindeer accents and a holiday
tree right out of Pottery Barn.
But don’t think for a minute

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that part of the reason I am
driven to this doesn’t stem
from the fact that I was beaten
with a vacuum cleaner for not
sweeping a kitchen floor well
enough when I was 13. Don’t
think for a minute that I don’t
strive to create the perfect
Halloween brunch with
caramel apples and harvest
stew served in small pump-
kins to make up for the fact
that I felt inadequate all
through my childhood. I hate
to mar your delusions of
“Cleaverville,” but as much as
I participate in the holidays
because I love the feeling and
spirit of it, I also become pos-
sessed because it is the most
clear and acceptable way of
forgetting the pain that is all
around me.

Pumpkins, every day

should be a holiday. Every
day we should strive to find a
way to come together as we
would in a crisis situation.
We are capable of so much.

 

sat / november 13 / 7:30-11

(new location)
zabby’s stone soup
college street

info 860.1044 / ru12@bigheavyworld.com handle

Brought to you by Burlington Fi.U.1.2? Community Center &
Outright VT with financial support from the Samara Foundation

Strong, loving, and supportive
people are we and if we could
remind each other of that
every day and not only when
the calendar tells us, maybe
people would be less
depressed during the holiday,
less in debt, and less likely to
feel the need to strive for
acceptance.

I will still be the maniac at
the counter articulating to the
salesperson, in a less than
civil tone, the difference
between iridescent and matte
organza ribbon. I will still be
the one that security drags out
of Filene’s because I attacked

_ the 90-year-old Quaker hold-

ing the perfect gift item that
was clearly intended for me. I
love the escape and I love the
opportunity that the season
presents. In Cliff Notes, enjoy
the season but strive to keep
the season alive all year long.
Peace, love and may the Sales
Deities bless you.V

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