Common Ground Sought at the Table

continued from page seven

spiritual abuse.” Every time I hear those
ugly words assault my ears, I feel battered.

The truth is, though, I know that I am
neither evil nor disordered per se in my
fundamental sexual orientation and expres-
sion. Lesbians tell me the same thing about
the experience of their sexual orientation
and expression. More of us are mustering
the courage to speak. We only wish that
church officials would take us seriously
and listen to our stories that must inform
any honest teaching about human sexuality.

During his recent talk, Father Nugent
quoted from a critique of “Always Our
Children,” addressed primarily to Catholic
parents of gay sons and daughters. That cri-
tique, written by Ed
Ingebretsen, a Jesuit priest
and tenured English pro-
fessor at Georgetown
University, focuses on a
contradiction in teaching
on homosexuality — that
curiously Catholic tension
of affirming God’s love
revealed in gay people
while simultaneously
asserting a thoroughly
shaming, guilt- and (in
some cases) violence-producing doctrine of
vile, disordered homosexual expression.

But “we do not love those whom we do
not touch. Nor do we care for those to
whom we will not listen, regardless of what
our words declare. To espouse love for a
person while repudiating that person in
subtle and not so subtle ways is the worst
kind of emotional anorexia,” said Nugent,
quoting Father Ingebretsen.

Surely, homophobia manifested among
the faithful -—~ from silence to violence,
with varying degrees of psychological and
spiritual abuse and emotional anorexia in

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between — cannot be denied. Don’t you
think that Rev. White and Rev. Falwell will
demonstrate true Christian courage if they
follow through on their agreement to dis-
cuss the tone and tenor of public discourse
on homosexuality? I do.

That’s why I am asking my regular din-
ner companion, a conservative Catholic
activist, to request a similar gathering with
our spiritual leader, Bernard Cardinal Law.
(And I urge other gay and lesbian Catholics
to request up-close time with their local
bishops.) Such a dinner gathering of faith-
ful lesbian and gay Catholics, our families,
and friends and His Eminence is not only
long over due, but also potentially healing.

Such language, especially

in a pastoral setting, is at best
arcane and irrelevant.

At worst it’s counter productive,
insulting, and enraging.

And what a grace-filled opportunity for all
to listen and learn, safely and respectfully.

Such an up-close and personal minister-
ial initiative demonstrates real Gospel val-
ues. Afier all, when Our Lord touched and
healed people with his message of compas-
sion and love, didn’t he teach us most
effectively by example? V

Chuck Colbert, who serves on the board
of the National Lesbian and Gay
Journalists Association, is a graduate stu-
dent at the Weston Jesuit School of
Theology.

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— Ocroaen 1999 — 9

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