—.»»..,_‘_HV”,,........~

‘12 — OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS — SEPTEMBER 1999

   937emorz’um.. 
.   ’
7 o

The following is excerpted from the«
eulogy delivered at the memorial service
in Davids honor on August [I at the

Unitarian Universalist Church in
Burlington.
by Bill Lippert

It was in 1973 when my path, quite
improbably, crossed with David’s for the
first time.

David was 35, a native Vennonter, a
married man, father of three small chil-

\

the only gay man in the group, or so
everyone, including me, thought at the
time. '

I remember being stunned when I
heard that David charged as much per
hour for his legal work as I paid per month
for rent. I remember too being wide-eyed
when David talked of his plans to run for
Attorney General, and about his desire
someday to run for governor. (I doubt that
I would be a legislator today if it weren’t
for David’s influence on me over the
years, helping me realize that becoming a

Lippert (left) and Curtis attended a White House meeting of openly gay oflicials.

(photo provided courtesy of Bill Lippert)

dren, and a very successful corporate
attorney in a prominent Burlington law
firm.

I was 23, newly relocated to Vennont,
and had just come out as a gay man after
graduating fromcollege. Just before com-
ing hiking in Vermont, I had marched in
NYC’s Gay Pride Parade with 50,000
other gay men and lesbians. Here in
Vermont, 1 was an aide in a day care cen-
ter, a job which I had almost not gotten
because of my bushy beard and long
braided hair, which went down to the mid-
dle of my back.

By all rights David’s and my paths
should not have crossed.

But it was the early seventies. Men

,were reverberating in response to the

women’s liberation movement, and,
through a mutual acquaintance, we both
ended up joining the same men’s group.
There were eight of us. We got together
weekly at each other’s homes to talk. We
did this for several years. I, of course, was

legislator was a real possibility.)

I learned that David had been a
Republican when he was elected to the
legislature. And I knew he ran as both a
Republican and as a Democrat for the
Attorney General nomination (a political
miscalculation that cost him either nomi-
nation, despite receiving the most total
combined votes).

But it was only years later that I’

learned David’s political transformation
had been greater than I had realized.
David revealed to me much later that,

. while a college student at UVM, he had

organized the campus Young Republicans
for Goldwater! I enjoyed teasing him
about this through our years of friendship.

Never, back in 1973, would I have
thought that over 27 years, I would grow
to consider David one of my very dearest
and closest friends. Never could I have
even imagined some of what we would
end up doing together as activists, politi-
cal allies, and personal friends!

I had the privilege of growing closer to
him as he went through major life trans-
formations: making his decision to give
up corporate law for criminal public
defense; later, moving to Tennessee and
South Dakota mostly to work in public
legal defense services for poor black and
native people, but partly to find enough
distance from Vermont to come out as a
gay man; coming out in Vermont and
choosing to reveal his own AIDS diagno-
sis to more effectively influence govern-
ment policy and funding.

Once David had come out, a wonderful
new dimension was added to our friend-
ship. We could confide in each other in
new ways, and turn to each other for
advice or help. When I needed someone to
talk with about running for the legislature
as a gay man, one ofthe people I turned to
was David. '

When I was invited to a White House
meeting for openly gay elected officials,
and my partner Enrique couldn’t attend,
David eagerly accepted my invitation.
When I wanted someone to help me start
a foundation to benefit the gay and lesbian
community, David was my obvious part-
ner in the new adventure.

I was _also the one who convinced
David to go with me for us both to be test-
ed for HIV.

He didn’t really particularly want to
go, or to know. But as his friend, I insist-
ed he join me to be tested. Of course, it
kind of broke my heart —-— and his, I think
— when his test came back, first undecid-
ed, and later, positive.

He told me he hadn’t really wanted to
know. You see, he wasn’t all that worried
about himself. But he was worried about
the effect on his children, and about the
possibility of someday not being there for
them.

Throughout all of David’s life he made
many changes, but one thing remained
constant: his love for and devotion to his
three children, Curt, Jill, and Christopher.

When David was physically in pain or
hurting from his many maladies, he would
rarely complain. He would rarely let him-
self cry. But I always knew that if I got him
to tell me stories about his children and
about how much he loved you, and would
miss you, he could then let himself cry.

Thank you for giving your father such
joy. That he got to love you meant so
much to him! ,

It was a gift to have David with us for
as long as we did. For David was a model
of living life generously and fully —— right

If DAVID CURTIS

up to the end!

David was, in fact, an improbably gen-
erous man. He accepted collect calls in the
middle of the night from convicted mur-
derers, men in prison he had befriended in
the course of defending them or appealing
their case. I would react with surprise, and
he would laugh that funny laugh of his,
and assure me, “he’s really a nice guy,
actually!”

I didn’t know anyone else who had
such a wide range of personal friends,
from governors and senators to men who
would live most of their lives behind bars
to some whose only place to sleep was in
the park. It was a regular feature of know-
ing David that we could never walk
through City Hall Park or walk down
Church Street with him" without having to
frequently stop to say hello to his widely
disparate band of friends. His fondness for
a person did not rest on their station in
life.

Diagnosed with HIV and AIDS, and
later with lung cancer and heart arrhyth-
mias, David dodged more bullets than
anyone I know. But he didn’t slow down
any more than he had to. Instead he ran for
state senate as an openly gay man with
AIDS, became chair of the Democratic

Party, hired competent staff to work

around him, and, rather unbelievably, con-
tinued to schedule couples to marry in his
role as ajustice of the peace.

(On one occasion, David added unex-I
pected excitement to one lucky couple’s

wedding day when his heart defibrillator -
went off while officiating at a wedding.
ceremony — an ambulanceihad’ to be‘
called BEFORE he had gotten to marry ~

them! )

David’s life was all about generosity
and love, personal change and growth,
and living fully committed — right to the
end.

We get to stop and mourn and to
remember. But David would want us to go
on, find the rest of our particular paths,
continue living our lives fully.

I will miss his sweet smile, his kiss and
hug when we greeted each other, his visits
with me to the hospital when my partner
was hospitalized, his wise counsel, and
most especially his friendship.

Knowing David has been one of my
life’s finest gifts.

I am grateful that you touched my life
so deeply, David. Thank you for loving
me, and for being my friend.V

 
 

  
 
 

V  »

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