Domestic Violence Series — Part IV continued from page sixteen that a person raised in a house- hold where narcissistic family members suppressed her sense of self, and where she was exposed to abuse that could later serve as a model for her own behavior, would have all the ele- ments of an abusive personality type. Furthermore, many people with this abusive personality type may not yet realize that they have potential for violence, especially if they have not yet been in a long-term relationship. Tackling the Problem Up to this point, society has done little to help abusers; most domestic violence programs focus solely upon protecting and supporting the victims. However, the Internet does Out in the Mountaim ifl 415') mmm, mmm, good! HEALTH _ LANA Health Care Organization - ’ POB 357, 179 S. Winooski St, Burlington VT 05401 ' B64-2631/864-2632 - lcoholics Anonymous Burlington, 658-4221 ' POB 5653 Burlington VT 05402 ' Thur, 7pm St. Paul's Cathedral, Cherry St Concord, NH. 603-357-4300 Wed, 7:30pm, First Congregational Church N. Main & Washington St. Hanover, NH, Thursdays, 6:30pm, Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center Women only. Keene, NH, (503) 357-4300 ' Sat, 7-8:30pm. Call for location. Manchester, NH, Sundays, 7:30pm UU Church, 669 Union St. Nashua, NH, Mondays, 7:30pm Nashua Unitarian Church The Comprehensive Women's gram (CWP) POB 5248, Burlington 05402 ,’ 802-863-2437 or 800 649-2437 Qawnland Center (Native American) - POB 1358, Barre St., Montpelier VT 05601 I ribal Remedies (ALANA Community Organization) 8 Williston, Brattleboro VT 05301 254-2972 boast at least one Web site worth mentioning: Blain Nelson’s Abuse Pages, at www.blainn.cc/ abuse. This site provides a list of questions to help readers deter- mine whether their own behavior is abusive. It also Offers Abuser Recovery Information, which includes details about several newsgroups and mailing lists abusers can join in order to con- verse with other “recovering abusers.” But in the absence of exten- sive community resources, deal- ing with the problem means fac- ing some unpleasant realities. Abusers must realize that, value judgements and explana- tions aside, hitting a partner, harassing him, and destroying his property are crimes, crimes PRIMARY CARE IN Mara Vijups, M.D. Family Practice Specialist NMC Rural Health Services Caring for Adults & Children Enosburg Swanton East Fairfleld 933-583 1 868-2454 827-3032 for which one can actually go to prison if and when a victim chooses to press charges. Further, if the victim has already left the relationship Over the abuse, the abuser must real- ize that any contact with her will tend to slow her recovery process — even if that contact is just a phone call or a letter to apologize. What can be done for abusers, and whether they can ever be cured, depends largely on their willingness and ability to look at themselves, a common goal for all people in therapy, but one which is particularly difficult for those with abusive personalities. This concludes 0ITM’s series on same-sex domestic violence. FRANKLIN COUNTY OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS — JULY 1999 — 19 Practice limited to male clientele THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE William Coil, NCMT —% 802-658-2390 800-830-5025 KAISER PERMANENTE PHONE: 802/524-9595 FAX: 802/524-2867 Carol Thayer, M.D. PO Box 1160, RD2 ' Fairfax, W 05454 MAGGIE F RAMPTON MSW ACSW LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER PSYCHOTHERAPY - CONSULTATION ADULTS - ADOLESCENTS MONTPELIER, VT (802) 229-5071 PROFESSIONAL CONFIDENTIAL n State Women's Network POB 3, Cavendish VT 05142-0003 2267807 ' Margoc@mail.tds.net . www.dartmouth.edul~hivnet/orgswsn1.htm| , Dept. of Health, Office of Minority Ith 108 Cherry St, POB 70, Burlington VT 05402 ' 863-7273 ont Women's Health Center 336 North Ave, Burlington VT 05401 8631386 HIVIAIDS Senvrcrss HES . Vermont (800) 882-2437 NH (800) 752-2437 NY State (800) 541-2437 MA (617) 5224090 ME (800) 851-2437 National: (800) 342-2437 National Tl'Y: (800)243-7889 , Teen Hotline: (800) 234-TEEN /8 Community Awareness Project POB 608, St. Johnsbury VT 05819 748-1149 V S Community Resource Network 229-0601 573 Hartford, White River Jct VT 05001 a0o-257-112a/ (TTY) a00-253-0195/ epatitis Support Group 802-295-8777/800-816-2220 lax 257-2013 VA Hospital White RiverJct.. VT , a°°m@Va|leI