8 - Our IN THE MOUNTAINS -—--JULY 1999 SKEETER BY SKEETER SANDERS since I took the occasion of ' my 40th birthday to come out of the closet as bisexual afier liv- ing exclusively as a gay man for 20 years. And those six years have proven to be far more liber- ating than my first coming-out in 1978 — and at the same time, very sobering. It’s been liberating in that I have acknowledged my capacity to fall in love with and have a ful- filling relationship with virtually anyone, regardless of whether the other person is male, female, or transgendered. To put it another way, whereas most people’s rela- tionship circle of vision is either 90 or 180 degrees, mine is a full 360. But it’s also been sobering in that I’ve come to realize the incredible lengths that some in the queer community, particularly gay men, will go to “prove” that “we were born this way" and that there are only two basic sexual orientations — hetero and homo. Particularly galling to me has been the search what has become known as the so-called “gay gene,” a search based on the theo- ry that one’s sexual orientation is detennined long before one is born. The reason for this theory — and the effort to prove it — is obvi- ous: if solid evidence can be found that sexual orientation is genetically determined, homo- phobes’ insistence that it’s merely ' a lifestyle choice that can be reversed would be thoroughly discredited once and for all. I firmly believe that we don’t choose our sexual orientation any more than we can choose the color of our skin. Having said that, I nonetheless believe that the I t’s been slightly over six years Luxux-gr Featurin the Best cenery of the 'te Mountains and eastern Vermont. Cycling along Gentle Paths, Hiking to Waterfalls and Kayakin along Trout-f ed Rivers. *7: search for the elusive “gay e is a colossal waste:/of time and resources, jar’ scientists will _jnevitabl7have to confront these questions: bi women are also likely to encounter far less virulent homo- phobia than gay men? Let’s face it: there is over- whelming statistical and anecdo- If homosexuality is genetically deter- mined, then how do you explain the existence of bisexuals — unless there’s a separate “bi gene” floating around in their DNA ? If homosexuality is genetically determined, then how do you explain the existence of bisexuals — unless there’s a separate “bi gene” floating around in their DNA? For that matter, why is all this “gay gene” research focused exclusively on gay men? Where are the bi men? Where are the les- bian and bi women? Why do so many gay men feel threatened by the notion that sex- ual orientation is not set in genet- ic concrete but is, in fact, fluid? After all, what about all those pre- viously heterosexual men who have come out either bi or gay in the 30 years since Stonewall? Could this discomfort be because bi men are likely to endure far less virulent homopho- bia than exclusively gay men? Could it be because lesbians and * * phoenix risi tal evidence that homophobia is far more prevalent among men than among women. Opinion polls by Gallup, The New York Times, The Washington Blade and a host of others show a clear gen- der gap in public support for queer civil rights — women are far more supportive of our rights than men are. Conversely, not only are male opponents of queer civil rights far more numerous than female opponents, they’re much more violently passionate about it. Indeed, statistics kept by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Community United Against Violence, and other agen- cies that monitor anti—gay vio- lence show the vast majority of such incidents are male-on-male. 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In their minds, all gay men are sissies (and even many gay men ridicule drag queens and Radical Faeries for the same reason). More importantly, they often regard sensitive straight men who aren’t macho as “sissies,” too. It’s no accident that many of those Out n the long-haired straight male hippies in the ‘60s were branded “fag- gots” because they dared to reject being macho. Even Tom Leykis, an unabashedly liberal radio talk- show host, regularly brands such sensitive straight males “pussies” on the air. Homophobia, the irrational fear of homosexuality, is inextri- cably rooted in the fear of the feminine. There’s simply no way to get around it. It’s time that we attack directly the machismo that feeds on it. V .7ndaM pool, eazwiae mam, wliia€pM£,ma4aage,deau£i{u€ (802) 434-2037, 434-5224 EMAIL: THESPAVT@AOL.COM RICHMOND, VERMONT - tell them you found it at 'I'HA'|' BOOK STORE... 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