9’, ». ‘‘1‘'''I : .‘I/\v’|v ‘. i i ii * : ll ‘lift’; it‘: ‘-1 4 — OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS — MAY 1999 . 0 A u in tloountai A , .4, ti! an ‘ ‘- Preserve the Past to, Change the Future BY VINCENT DOWNING fyou were at the Equality Begins at Home Dinner in Burlington on Saturday,_March 27, 1999, you might recall the Archives Installation along the wall opposite the buffet. I do, especially because I was involved in mounting copies of newspapers, fly- ers, leaflets and pictures on the foam boardand oak tag. Part of being involved was seeing and handling many of the origi- nal documents. This was an unforgettable experience, particularly with the newsletters (now called zines) that came out of the late ‘60s and early ‘70s. There was one, “Gay Flames,” that championed “Gay Liberation.” Another, now a crumbling newspaper, had articles addressing the “revolution” and resistance to the war in Vietnam. Still another, a long feminist rant, had been published with blue mimeo- graph ink. It was typewritten, with rows of words covered in Xs. This kind of texture in revolutionary polemic is simply gone. The word processor has sent it the way of the Gutenberg presses. Holding these things in my hands, reading their messages, tingles . went up my spine and neck. I felt the hands of the first readers of these documents with my hands. I experienced a tiny bit of the rage and tri- umph of an earlier time. Ahh, so close! Not more than 30 or so years ago. Within my lifetime. But so far; there is no chasm that yawns wider than the chasm of time, and no bridge more fragile than memory. A common refrain I heard’ during the nights we assembled the archive installation and mounted it was “nobody taught me gay histo- ry!” The people I was working on this project with were considerably younger than I, in their early twenties. And l’ve thought hard about this hunger they have to learn about their history. It is the same thing I felt when I was in my early twenties and coming out. GLBT people have been made invisible and unmemorable. Consider the meaning hidden in the word ‘re-memberz’ to replace limbs/members — living parts — back where they originally were. A member of_a community is a living part of that community, just as memory is a living part of a person. Without this vital aspect of our- selves, we as individuals and as a community are isolated from other if not in space then in time. We are separated from an essential per- spective needed to place ourselves. Consider how your individual life would unravel without memory. You would live in a completely chaotic world without continuity. You would be unable to learn from your mistakes. You would be unable to grow except for growing old. You could not plan for the future. It is the same way with a community. An archive of GI;.BT~history would function as thememory of our community. Such an archive is how we can each anchor our lives into history. Without being ‘re-corded’ — woven in again for good measure into the tapestry of world events — we are lost to ‘history. If we were to tend to such evidence of our past, it would give our political struggles more credibility in the eyes of the world. People would have more respect for our movement merely if they knew we had such things as historical archives, even if they themselves never OP-ED, p20 continued Vermont when I worked on buy- ing the property in Grafton three years ago. I have been impressed with the openness and respect we have received from our fellow Vermonters. I hope this letter sheds some light on “what those folks do down there.” Keep up the good work. Bambi Gauthier Mixed Reactions to Domestic Violence Series Part one of a guide for victims of same-sex domestic violence also appeared in the April 01 TM. The piece focused on the roots and signs of emotional and phys- ical abuse. The series continues this month on page 22. Missed the Mark Editor: In her article about domestic violence in the queer community (April, 1999), Laura Miller describes certain tactics of abu- sive behaviors, and wonders why anyone would remain with a vio- lent partner. She asserts that such victims must be in denial about their situations, or must be in need of a violent partner to expe- rience their own repressed anger, or may even -be crazy. . I am a formerly battered les- bian. My own situation occurred while I was volunteering as an advocate at a battered women’s shelter in Massachusetts; my abusive girlfriend was also a vol- unteer at this same agency. As I read Ms. Miller’s article, I was unfortunately reminded of one of my own barriers to safety and services, one reason that my escape from my abuser took many months. At the time, I was afraid that if I told my friends the truth about the emotional and sexual violence my girlfriend subjected me to, that they’d lose respect for me and probably judge me. Maybe they’d tell me that I was using my girlfriend to experience my own repressed anger. Maybe they’d even tell me I was crazy. I was afraid that my community would hold. me responsible for my girlfriend’s violence. I was afraid that they’d see me through the same kind of judgmental, unsympathetic lens that Ms. Miller has turned on all of us who have been subjected to a partner’s violence. Ms. Miller wonders why peo- ple don’t just “get out” of abusive relationships. I did get out, again and again. Each time, she would bring me presents, she’d cry, she’d make all kinds of promises about changing her ways. When I could no longer believe her promises, and did not give her any more chances, she began to harass me at home and at work, and to threaten me with physical assault. Six years later, I’m in another state, yet I still jump when I see someone who looks like her. That’s the legacy of abuse. My story is just one story. But after eight years of doing domes- tic violence advocacy work in two states, I can recognize what my story shares with the stories of most survivors of abuse: my ex-girlfriend took certain actions, and used threats and coercion, to gain and then maintain control over me. It’s the batterer’s desire for power and control which is the essential core of violence in any abusive relationship. I appreciate Ms. Miller’s effort to bring this issue back into our community’s discussions. But I encourage her to refocus her attention, to take a break from asking “Why doesn’t the victim just leave?”, and to instead ask, “Why does this abuser treat her/his partner so badly? Why does this person feel entitled to hurt his/her partner?” These are the questions that will help us, as a community, to support the safe- ty and rights of victims and to hold abusers accountable for their own behavior. Celia Cuddy ' Burlington . Right on Target Editor: I have never written a letter to the editor to any paper before but I really wanted to tell you how great I think it is that you wrote about same sex domestic vio- lence. I was beaten in two different relationships and the writer of your article could have been writ- ing about me. I left and came _ back and left and came back and made my family and friends crazy. The abuse was emotional too. Your article reminded me that I am not the only one. Thank you. Name withheld by request Two, Four, Six, Eight, Someone Thinks We’re Really Great! Editor: ‘I wanted to write to commend you and the staff and writers of OITM for the terrific paper you’re producing these days. The stories are well written, the arti- cles are interesting, and the graphics and layout look great. There seems to be an energy, an enthusiasm, an optimism emanat- ing from the pages, and it’s infec- tious. I know you’re doing it all on a shoestring budget, and Ijust wanted you to know that your readers appreciate the quality of your work. Thank you. Susan M. 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