' . - _ u_ _ _ l._,, , .. . V - “" -‘*----- -—- --—-~~-~~~~--«-«~-~---~--—- -«------~—---~ ~ ~ - - ~ - - - - a,:‘,-.'"{".‘,‘,” il_7';’,," ~ ‘ I‘ S/‘,’»‘ , i,‘i‘_'\_i'l~" _'~_",‘i l.-"H -'._il. + ' " ii.) OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS '—' APRIL -' 29 G AY I 'I' Y LOGIC PROBLEM:s-FashioniCrimes and Misdemeanors , _ , DRESS BAG ACCESSORY- It may be the center, of our universe, but Vermont is not the only place that holds an annual drag ball. " The Chrissy Coalition — a group of fundamentalist sitcom watchers who i ' - 5- .-u -5 3 i ‘ 5- .m :3 -t u-_ u-X.‘--u -1 3; believe that Three’s Company‘s_original._.blonde“will»returii_one day_to redeem us all — holds a similar event 97 5' E g_ 3' :T ° 3 8 9T " g E 3, - = eachyear.» -. > X g,,T E U, gr’ Q. ¢_5_ '2 < g_ 2. 1 .3 EX 2 We sent an intrepid reporter to cover this year’s ball. Unfortunately,-the Vi 3 fl? 9, V, n u- '1 5' g_ V’ S’. 8’ assignment required him to spend the evening in the presenceof the group's leaders, the Fundie Five. As :I" 3". g 5' 3 E 3 ‘S. U. , _, ‘I 3. such, he suffered a breakdown quite early in the evening. - ' . Q 2} 2- g: 2 9; 3 ' 3‘ ' In His jumbled notes on the group's dresses, handbags and accessories follow. ; 9’ co 5' 3- 0° -1 9- Use them and the chart provided to help us figure out what each man wore and carried during the evening. " _ 3 I W (Look below the chart for usage instructions.) - ' ‘ . .~~ s . s ; Patti Buckup ~ x I. jerri Faldown almost dropped his Gucci 5. Stormy Thursday spent five minutes lil erri Fa|down ' ' X 0 X X X bag when he realized his colleagues were telling the man in the white sequined dress < sporting Teletubby-esque fashions. He was how wonderful it looked. Then he spent ten' 2 Trench Lotsa x only slightly comforted to note that at least minutes telling the men in pink taffeta and Ruepat Robye I.-son X the purple velvet dress and funky red vinyl purple velvet that the white dress looked handbag were being modelled by two differ- terrible with the stiletto heels. Storm)’ Thursday X ent people. ’ . 6. A roving photographer captured the five black garter 2. The man in the slinky red satin frock — friends — RuePat Robyerson, the man in ‘D pearls which had a side slit that revealed an‘ red satin, the two wearing the tiara and < o - ungodly amount of leg— arrived with a pearls and the man in the sheath — on film. m rhinestone tlara man who immediately checked his shawl. X‘ X X _ shawl 7. After a few drinks, the man wearing the _ .| h I 3. At one point, Trench Lotsa saw the three garter started a conga line. The man in the stl etto ee 5 men wearing the black garter, the shim- X purple dress and his friend in pearls joined black dutch mering black sheath and the beaded shoul- in. Mortified, jerri slipped outside to avoid >_ , _ , How To USE THE CHART . der ba lined u r r th wder r He ‘c The he r d h‘ r ' d ‘th the d o: GUCCI bag "“ ‘'‘° '’'°‘“‘ °' °""“"‘"'°" g X p o epo X oom. _iX. Xre oun ‘IS rien wi_X O X X to figure out who is _ and am.‘ _ and the man in the white sequined off-the- vinyl handbag. Pf>lX(ingX through it for ciga- V, no purse X , X wearing what As you read the shoulder number decided to stay on the rettes and muttering about the D]. X m _ . clue; flu in X5 and 05 to keep track dance floor for another song to wait for the X ' _ 9 red Vlnyl of the information, (For example, line to dwindle. ' B. Shortly thereafter, jerri, the man in the 9 b - X the first few words of the first clue stilettos and the_ man in red satin set aside < eaded bag ’ tell Y°“ "'7" l°"'l F3l‘l°W“ l5 ‘3"'Y' 4. Patti Buckup bought the first round of their purses— none of which were the . X ; ~ ~ I “'8 “X” G"“l _l’3E- w°'V° filled l" drinks for both the man with the black beaded bag— to demonstrate “YMCA" for tratt '"l°r)mat'-°" °" the ‘liar: t° . v I s ar you. leather clutch and the man without a purse Trench, who neverXcould keep Xthemoves , .— . 1,3,“ ‘mam, P,,,X3,qP,,,q M“! P,‘ ‘nun, W, WM A“ ‘he information You need to (who carried his cash in his bodice). Shortly straight. 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