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APRIL 1999

8 L 001" iN THE MOUNTAINS —

CROW’S

 

CAIWS

BY CROW COHEN

ife is unpredictable. That
may be stating the obvious,

but to understand it on a gut
level is no small feat in a global
culture that promotes control
over our very existence by means
of electronics and chemicals.

Take my life, for instance. In
my youth, there was no way that
I could have predicted I would be
a lesbian. At I0, I was vying’ for
the attention of Stevie Silver,
who, for some ridiculous reason,
was considered hot stuff on his
two—wheeler. At 20, I married my
high school sweetheart —— partly
because I was terrified of dating
and figured that by getting mar-
ried, I could take myself out of
the arena of sexual competition,
which I still hate to this day. At
30, I was nagging at that sweet-
heart to get the hell out ofthe Air
Force so I could start to have a
life. At 35, I found a life, but to
our dismay, discovered he really
couldn’t be a part of it, because I
came out as a dyk'e.

Then there are more recent
events. Because it was such hard
work for me to be a single parent,
Ij_could ne_ver envision life’ past
I8 for my daughters, let alone

seeing them give birth to sons
within three weeks of each other,
which just happened in February.

Twenty years ago, I predicted
there would be a Revolution -
that sexism, homophobia,
racism, classism, anti-Semitism,
and you-name-itism were going
to melt away under the trusted

’ leadership and compassionate

vision of -the Amazon Nation. I
was wrong. These days, I can
hardly keep myself from envi-
sioning the exact opposite —
namely, that 20 years from now
we will all go up in flames in
some nuclearholocaust with one
or two filthy rich white men
pushing the buttons.

So how does a political
activist passionately attached to

fantasies of a clean environment
full of peace-loving humans who

have no desire to dominate each .

other to death hold onto the con-
cept that life is totally unpre-
dictable and not get depressed?
Political awareness and depres-
sion are very close cousins, I
find.

Twenty years ago, I predicted a
Revolution,— sexism, homophobia,
racism, classism, anti-Semitism, and
you-name-itism were going to melt
away under the leadership and vision
of the Amazon Nation. I was wrong.

But I’d like to share a dream
I had recently that may help me
to reconcile this dilemma (at
least for 10 minutes). I love to
put trust in my dreams, because
they send me messages from
deep inside my vulnerable,
undefended, beyond-rational

self where I’m not trying to’

impress anybody, including
myself.

Inithis dream I ‘am falling

down a deep, cement-lined shaft
— falling and falling toward
almost certain death or maiming.
I was terrified. Then I remem-
bered that people who are drunk
are sometimes not hurt when
they fall, because their bodies are
so limp. So, while I’m falling, I
decide to let my muscles go
limp -—— even though this goes
against my instinct to brace
myself, stiffen up, and resist. I
change my mind mid-fall and
do stiffen up for a few seconds
(this is a long fall the likes of

9 which only happen in dreams),

but then in a panic I talk myself
back into “relaxing” again,
because I know it’s my only
hope of survival. I never reach
bottom. ' .
Although the dream was tee-
tering on theragged edge of a
nightmare, I’m choosing to inter-
pret it as a spiritual gift. Here
was a graphic image that I expe-
rienced on a gut level, sending me
the message. that despite my
doubts and fears for my own sur-
vival, my only hope is to “relax”.
into the process, to surrender, to
let go, not to focus on results.
(Since our dreams are often maps
of our soul work, not only is this
stance a hope, but it must also be
what I am already doing on a

loannetore You l00II

number of levels and for a variety
of reasons.)

Does that mean we give up on
our visions to overturn the power
imbalances in our world? Does
that mean we stop doing the foot-
work? Does that mean we cease to
confront those who are evil and

greedy? I don’t think so.
Otherwise, how will we ever
effect change?

I believe in doing this work.
However, we need to keep the
focus on process and be prepared
to modify our visions. We need to
respond to feedback from our

communities, trusted friends, and _

helpers — especially if our allies

. are sending us a strong message

that we are power-tripping, or
bulldozing, or behaving in a rigid,
obsessive manner.

Most of all, it means that we
maintain an attitude of willingness
as opposed to willfulness. During
that dream, I definitely willed my
muscles to go limp. In other
words, I was willing to be willing,
and that’s as far as I can go some-

._ times. The rest is faith. Only then

can I come close to radical self-
acceptance, a state in which
falling has a chance to_feel like
flying some day — flying in the
face of all those doubts. V

»'SKEETER

 

BY SKEETER SANDERS

ou’ve heard the old cliché,
v“Hell hath no fury like a
woman scorned?” 7

Well, thanks to at least 42
Republicans in the"iVermont
House of Representatives, I can
revise it to read, “Hell hath no
fury like a columnist made to
look like a foolby politicians.” ’

That’s exactly what those 42
GOPers in the House have done.
They’ve made a fool out of me.
They did it by introducing a bill
to define ‘marriage as that
between a man and. a woman
only. Should the bill become law,
it will effectively outlaw same-
gender marriages in Vermont.

Only last month, I wrote that
Vermont Republicans “have a
reputation of being considerably
more socially‘ libertarian” than
their fellow Republicans in the
rest of the country.

But on March 9, Rep. George
Schiavone (R-Shelburne) intro-
.duced_ I-‘I._4>_79, an amendment “to
an existing law that prohibits rel-H

|li!l|Il_-
circling

atives from marrying each other.

As reported in the March ll
edition of the Burlington Free
Press, 41 other Republicans, 14

Democrats and one independent‘

have signed on to the bill as co-
sponsors. ‘
Thanks a lot, folks. That’s the
last time I’ll do you any favors.
H.479 now sits in the House
Judiciary Committee, and while
no legislative action is expected
on the bill any time soon, the
Vermont Supreme Court can at
any time trigger such action if it
rules that same-gender couples
cannot be barred from marrying.
By now, you know where I
stand on the marriage issue. The
legal institution of marriage is
the backbone of heterosexism
and patriarchy, without which it
cannot survive and will stop at
nothing to protect. We would all
be better off if the legal institu-
tionwas abolished altogether.
You also know that I believe
very firmly that the bond of mat-
rimony itself is a religious sacra-
ment, as well as a deep personal
commitment. The government

inn vultures
over Vermont

has absolutely no right to deter-
mine who is or isn’t eligible to
partake in that sacrament. The
Defense of Marriage Act and all
similar state laws therefore vio-
late the free-exercise-of-religion
clause of the First-Amendment.

But looking at the big picture,
the introduction of H479 — and
a similar bill introduced in 1997
by Rep. Nancy Sheltra (R-East
Derby) that died in committee —
sounds the alarm that excessive
influence of social right-wingers
within the GOP at the national
level has begun to infect
Vennont Republicans.

As I wrote in this space last
month, the social right-wingers
— many of whom are millennial
fundamentalists obsessed with
visions of the apocalypse and
Armageddon —— are, like a wild
animal that’s been backed into a
comer, going on an all-out offen-
sive as the new millennium inch-
es ever-closer to our doorstep.

Don’t think for a New York
minute that the social right-
wingers aren’t circling over
Vermont like vultures’ circling

over a dying prey, 'waiting to

pounce on it the moment it gives

up the ghost.

Barring a delay or a big sur- '

national level has
begun to infect

prise, as soon as the news breaks
that the Vermont Supreme Court
has ruled that same-gender cou-
ples can marry, these vultures
will invade Vermont with the
fury of the Martians in H.G.
Wells’ War of the Worlds.

I can already envision noisy
demonstrations outside the State
House in Montpelier by Bible-
toting fundamentalists from out-

Excessive influence 9
of social right-wingers
within the GOP at the

Vermont Republicans.

side Vermont, demanding, that
the Legislature pass H479 and
oust the Supreme Court justices
who voted to extend marriage to
V same-gender couples.
I can also envision
_ Pat Robertson, Jerry
Falwell _and other reli-
gious right figures issu-
ing a clarion call to
their followers to
launch a crusade to
“rescue and cleanse”
Vermont of what they
will surely see as a
“dangerous plunge into
moral depravity.” .—
And knowing
Vermonters’ longstand-
ing dislike of being told
what to do by outsiders, I hesi-
tate to think how we would react
to this intrusion into our affairs.
It is something for all of us to
really think about. Nothing in
life occurs without conse-
quences. We may be ready for
the Y2K computer bug — but are
we prepared for the Y2K politi-

cal and religious storm that’s.

about to hit us? V