24 — OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS — MARCH 1999 Latter-Day Saints Present-Day Opponents of.S'ame-Gender Marriage continued from page eight stating her opposition to same- sex marriage. She explained that she felt the brief implied the unconstitutionality of the federal Defense of Marriage Act and undermined her “legal strategy” to “defend Utah’s law.” She said that, if Utah ever faced a chal- lenge to its law against same-sex marriage, she would make the Defense of Marriage Act her first line’ of defense. in the meantime, the LDS Church was already beginning to urge its members to fight same- sex marriage at all levels of gov- ernment, and to “promote legis- lation that will ensure traditional marriage.” In October, at its semiannual conference, LDS president Gordon B. Hinckley reiterated the church’s opposition to polygamy and issued a some- ‘. : “All those who support traditional marriage owe a big ‘mahalo’ to what new statement about homo- sexuality. -He declared that the church “loves” gays and lesbians “as sons and daughters of God,” but that Mormons with homo- sexual inclinations were bound, just as heterosexuals, to obey the “law of chastity” and the “moral standards of the church.” The church could not compromise its commitment to marriage, which is “ordained of God for procre- ation and for eternity.” Some gay and lesbian Mormons initially welcomed the statement as “a positive step,” since “it recognizes that homo- sexuals really do exist.” However, only a few weeks after the conference, Hinckley approved the $500,000 check to the Alaska Family Coalition to aid in efforts to ban same-sex marriage. Until then, each side of the debate in Alaska, the Alaska Family Coalition and the No On 2 Campaign, had each raised only about $l00,000 in their political battle with each other. Another check for $600,000 was sent to the “Save Traditional Marriage" campaign in Hawaii. These contributions turned out to be critical in both states. In the November 3 elections, con- stitutional amendments were approved in both places that severely hinder efforts to legal- ize same-sex marriages there. The Hawaii amendment gives the legislature power to outlaw same-sex marriage, while the Alaska amendment defines mar- riage as involving one man and one woman. Said a spokes- woman from the Hawaii Family Forum, “All those who support traditional marriage owe a big ‘mahalo’ to the LDS Church — that means ‘thank you.’” What About Our Back Yard? _ As of 1997, there were only 3530 Mormons in the state of Vermont, but low population hasn’t stopped the LDS Church from getting involved here so far. noonono tance of marriage forms that don’t involve patriarchy.” In addition, Vermont is sym- bolically important to Mormons. Brigham Young was a Vennonter, as were many other early Mormons who joined the Church when it was-still based in western New York. Now, Here’s the Good News Not all Mormons are neces- sarily in favor of what their church is doing, and they are not hesitant about voicing their opin- ions. In fact, soon after Hinckley approved the Alaska and Hawaii campaign contributions, a het- erosexual, married Mormon named Jake Johnson started an the LDS Church —— that means cacao ‘thank you. ”’ —_ Hawaii Family _ Forum spokeswoman after Mormon funds helped the organization win I an election campaign against same-sex marriage. The Burlington Vermont Stake of LDS paired up with the Roman Catholic Diocese of Burlington to submit a brief to the Vermont Supreme Court opposing same- sex marriage. Why are they doing this? Professor Eben Moglen, who teaches law and history at Columbia University, believes that opposition to same-sex mar- riage arises from ‘the Church’s ~commitment to patriarchy, a stance that has never won LDS many friends within the feminist movement. _ As Moglen explains, “the male-headedness of LDS society, which also caused the Church to commit itself heavily against the Equal Rights Amendment, mili- tates absolutely against accep- Progeny: Coming Out to Kids continued from page tweny-two One thing I do want to empha- size about this process; lt’s likely taken you time to reach where you are with respect to your identity and to how you’re feeling about telling children. You must be pre- pared to allow children them- selves time to process your disclo- sure and their feelings. It’s also critical to caution them about the negative reactions they might get if and when they want to share this information —- and to reassure them that you are not asking them to keep a secret. Just as you should have had the oppor- tunity and the right to disclose on your own terms, you should pro- vide that opportunity and right to children. More importantly, while there’s no direct research on the consequences for children of keeping this particular secret, we do know that asking children to keep big family secrets may be dangerous for them and for family relationships. So tell them you love them, you’ll respect their process, and you’re there to talk whether they want to tell others or not. But do tell them, if you can, who you are. You’ll also be telling them there’s no incompatibility between being a good parent and being LGBT. V Jacqueline S. Weinstock is an assistant professor in the Human Development and Family Studies Program at the University of Vermont. She can be reached at C- /50 Living & Learning Center, Burlington, VT 05405; e-mail.‘ jacqueline. weinstock@uvm. edu Internet-based group called MormonAid to solicit donations for Alaska’s No On 2 Campaign. In doing so, he announced that his church “needs to realize that an increasing number of faithful Mormons don’t agree with the goals ofthe Christian Right.” An LDS -spokesman quickly reaffirmed the church’s stance, but also emphasized that Mormons like Johnson had the right to follow their political convictions, whether or not they match those of the church. A group called Aflirmation, which consists of GLBT Mormons, has held annual con- ferences for the past 20 years. Scholars there present papers on such topics as “Ethics for Same- Sex Marriage” and “Nazis and Jews, Mormons and Gays: Simmering Hate Crimes in the Croc Proc.” ' If you have friends who are Mormons, ask them how they feel about this issue. Ask them if they know how much money their church is spending to defeat same-sex marriage, and why LDS seems to be so interested in doing to the gay community what was once done to them. If they find that they disagree with their church’s official stance, ask them to voice their opposition within their church — maybe even write a letter to Hinckley, or send a contribution to Affirmation. But don’t be nasty, and don’t attack your Mormon friends. Let’s show them more respect for their beliefs and lifestyles than their Church is currently showing for ours. V RUIZ? Hosts Community Supper for EBAH continued from front page time we had our own space to do that.” The First Supper will explicitly demonstrate the center’s commit- ment to history. Community members of all ages will be invited to share stories and memories about events and folks that have impacted them over the years. Organizers also plan to display the beginnings of its community archive project during the evening. The archive of photographs, ban- ners, newspaper clippings, and memorabilia will later be housed in the RU12? space. Admission to the First Supper is $10. However, thanks to a partial subsidy from the NGLTF’s EBAH fund,_no one will be turned away for lack of funds. See the calendar on page 35 for times and contact information.V RUIZ? Hosts Community Supper for EBAH continued from front page They asked that any anti-discrimination legislation be written in a manner that affect both public schools and private schools that accept state funding. An annual project of the Vermont Coalition for Lesbian and Gay 0 Rights, Visibility Day allowed community members to learn about the leg- islative process, legislators to hear the policy concerns of LGBT citi- zens, and both groups to form and strengthen links through discus- . sion.V ‘ zippo. zilch. rfichflvo. nothin’ baby! Placing a classified in OIT M doesn’t cost one red cent. We need someone ‘trans, with time on hir hands. write for us. 434-6486 oitm@ together . net