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Freedom To Marry Task

Force (VFMTF) representa-
tives have spoken in over 70 set-
tings. These meetings are often a
forum for members of the
GLBTQ community to debate
the idea of marriage. Below are
some of the questions I have
heard asked and my responses.

In the last two years, Vermont

Q. When gay men and les-
bians get civil recognition for
their relationships won’t they
become just like heterosexuals?

A. No, full civil rights for
gays and lesbians shouldn’t make
us anymore like straight people
than they made black people turn
white. Civil rights will give us
the freedom to express our rela-
tionships in ways we can’t now.
And while being sexual “out-
laws” has played an important
role in our experience, finding a
niche within the law doesn’t
mean we have to buy into the
whole heterosexual culture, But
I’m also not afraid of some
assimilation. Respect is due to
those who choose to blend or live
their lives “like heterosexuals”
just as respect is due those who
choose to live differently. I truly
believe that our diversity will
flourish more and not less if we
can marry as we choose.

Q. Why do gays and lesbians
want social acceptance?

A. I don’t know if all gays and
lesbians want social acceptance.
But I know that I want to live

Questions &

photo: Scot Applegate

As part‘ of their mandate to educate the public about same-gender

marriage issues, the Task F orce sets up booths at events around

Vermont.

ferent things. Over 90» clergy
members signed the VFMTF
marriage resolution and attached
their names to a brief in support
of the plaintiffs in Baker v State
because they support civil mar-
riages for same gender couples.
That doesn’t mean they all sup-
port religious marriage.

’ Religious marriage or spiritual

unions are available at the discre-
tion of individual denominations.

Full civil rights for gays and lesbians
shouldn ’t make us any more like
straight people than they made black

people turn white.

with the same choice and oppor-
tunity that my straight sisters and
brothers have. And I want to live
without fear of violence or dis-
crimination. As a partnered
woman with children, I look for-
ward to legal recognition of my
family. That recognition will
bring concrete benefits to my
immediate family that I can’t
secure any other way. And if that
legal status also means that we
have to face less homophobia as
we go about our lives, I think
ll1at’s great.

Q. Many churches, syna-

gogues and communities of

faith mready marry and give
support to same gentler cou-
ples. If you and your religion
recognizes your relationship
why do you need the law, too 1’
A. Civil marriage and reli-

 

Homespun weddings have

always been available to the cre- ’

ative do-it-yourselfers. Though
these marriages are real for the
participants, they carry no legal
status. The state continues to see
the “spouses” as unrelated indi-
viduals.

The 300+ Vermont statues
(and 1000+ federal ones) which
refer to spouse have no applica-
tion to a spiritually married cou-
ple unless they are also civilly
married. Among other things,
this mezurs that the same gender
couple don’t have access to many
employment related benefits like
pensions. bereavement leaves.
and fainily medical leaves. They
may not ltavc access to social
security claims. They don’t get
the rights to visitation in hospi-
tals or jails, legal protection for
confidences shared with one’s

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immigration law protections, or
the right to file taxes jointly.

_They don’t have access to

divorce laws to mediate separa-
tions. Likewise, society foregoes
opportunities to hold the couple
legally responsible for each
other.

Q. Marriage is such a flawed
institution. Shouldn’t we try to
replace it?

A. At this time I do not think it
is possible to replace marriage
plus there are some good things
about it. By giving same gender
couples equal access to civil mar-
riage laws we are broadening the
criterion. It is possible that our
inclusion will improve marriage
for all who choose it.

I would like to close by
repeating this quote from Angie
Dodd. “For our society to deny
acceptance to people’s different
sexualities is like trying to grow a
mono crop of one plant variety.
In farming we learn that without
the checks and balances provided‘
by a diverse biological communi-
ty, pathogens build up in the soil
and its fertility becomes deplet-
ed. Soil is the basis for all life on
earth; we depend on its health for
our survival. Diverse expressions
of life are good for Earth’s soil
and similarly diverse expressions
of love are healthy for the human
soul”. V

To learn more about the work
of Vermont Freedom to A/[arry
Task Force visit our web site.
There is a wealth of information.
Read the legal briefs. It isfasc-1'-
nating. Check out our Calendar
of Events and see where and how

you can become more involved.

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