1 I Ll ilib . L Untying our Tongues 20.3 BY THOMAS HENNING tively fabulous Ms. Ertha Kistt "I need a man!” I need a man to date, that is. I'm just curious, am I the only one that In the words of that seduc can walk right up to a man and tell him that I would like to go back to my place and ”get some play” but can not for the life of me walk up to a man, that has captured my attention, and ask if he would like to join me for a cup of coffee? What is that? Why is it easier for our community to exchange bodily fluids then to exchange thoughts and ideas? Why is it that we are more likely to en- gage in tearing each other down then building each other up? What are _we afraid of kids? I have been blessed to know some really great people. They are active in the commu- nity and they are friendly, sup- portive, and engaging. They are the people I turn to when I want some helpmaking the world make sense. Ironically, 95% of them are single. Now a couple of them chose to be but the rest would not mind if Avon came knocking on their door with a special on partners. What is the issue? Why does it seem that half the time is spent spinning our wheels? We all have been. through the dating dilemma 101 before. Should I call him, should I wait for him to call me? He was re- ally flirtatious-does that mean he likes me or just wants to sleep with me? Should I ask him out to dinner or just to cof- fee? Is asking him too forward? How do I get him to see that I am a real person and not just the guy he sees out on the weekend blowing off steam? Stand back pumpkins, I'm getting dizzy. I know that this all seems a tad anal (easy killer) and some would argue that you just act. Just do what it is that you want to do. Break out that lasso and try to rope yourself a mustang and ride him until he bucks you off. My question is ”Is that our cul- ture?” Do we allow ourselves or others the luxury of just tell- ing someone that we would like to get to know them bet- ter, invite them over for dinner- whatever, without judging or chastising? I have said, many times, that one of the difficulties of being a gay twenty-something is that this is the time that you are trying to figure out where you fit in to larger society and smaller communities. This is the time that you are experi- menting with who you are and what you are about. I find that I am constantly struggling with what I am looking for in both others and myself on a variety of levels. I find that even though I am a fairly self- assured individual I am con- stantly questioning my thoughts and actions. I find that I struggle with integrating my own standard with the varying standards of the com— munity I live in and that struggle is frustrating and iso- lating at times. The bottom line is I am just your typical Joe, with my own bag 0’ issues and drama, that just wants to have fun. I just want to be able to share me with others and learn from oth- ers what they have to share with me. I just don't always know how to go about it. I would love to get together with other gay/bisexual twentysomething men and talk about these issues. Vermont CARES, through the Men ’s Health Project, sponsors «I program called 20.5. This program is targeted to the 22-30 population of young men who have sex (YMSM) with men and is com- mitted to helping as address our needs and questions. If you have questions, concerns, or are inter- ested in connecting with other YM SM give me, Thomas, a call here at Vermont CARES at 800- 649-2437. PCC ‘continued from front page Vermont Youth Orchestra, where PCC’s interest in per- forming arts intersects with \ their focus on youth issues. Most recently, PCC has worked with Outright Vermont, provid- ing computer equipment as well as financial support. Plans to help Outright max out an existing matching grant have given way to establishing a Whole new matching grant of their own. Schuster says he Considers it money well spent. "They improve the overall'com— munity," he says, ”by giving us INS more well adjusted people.” ”I was pretty closeted Sfowing up,” adds Canning. "IVS? very encouraging to see k_lds in high school, when they figure out that they’ re gay, that they're able to come out....I fig- llred it out when I was in high School, but I wasn't able to Come out until I was a sopho- more in college....That’s why I ~. lhlflk, i,l'S, important to give.” Future plans at PCC include the Creation of a Gay/ Straight Al- Vermont and "Falsettos" at the Flynn Theatre, both of them depictions of AIDS as it exists in this country. ”We try to do things that are out of the main- stream,” says Canning. ”It’s real easy for somebody to line up a sponsor for a big Broad- way show at the Flynn, but to get somebody for something that’ s more esoteric...not many people want to do that kind of stuff.” Their next sponsorship will be for ”La Gran Scena,” a satirical all-male drag opera company appearing at the Flynn in April. ”The fact that we give back [to the community] means that other people start to give back as well,” Canning says. After PCC began giving money to the Flynn, the Flynn was able to "go down and taunt the folks at IDX,” he jokes. IDX, a much larger company with parallel interests to PCC, had not yet made donations there. "And now they're very supportive of the Flynn," he says, ”It was a way to get the door open.” In addition, Canning sits . on the board of the Vermont Symphony Orchestra and the liance website for high schools and colleges in Vermont where school groups set up their own web page on PCC’s website. Schuster and Canning minimize the notion that it's hard to be an "out” business. Schuster points to PCC’s ties to pediatrics, the ”gayest medical specialty." Canning, who also gives talks to school groups on business ownership, considers being gay and owning a busi- ness "just like being straight and owning a business.” Whereas fear of alienation by association can keep some com— ‘ panies from sponsoring gay in- terests, PCC seems not to no- tice. Asked what they get out of their investment in the com— ‘ munity, Canning is quick to answer. "Burlington is a great place to live, and a lot of that is because of all the things that go on here. A key part of that is the Flynn, a key part of that is Church Street, Outright, the Peace and Justice Center —— all of that adds to the ambience of ‘what it is,.to. live here. That's what I think I'm getting back.’' ’ Counseling ' /\lo1«v ofifierzing: A therapeutic support group for women coming out of heterosexual marriages andlor lifestyles to identify as lesbian. DIANE LEAIQIDI, ucsw OUT IN THE MouNTAiNs — OCTOBER 1998 9- 23 sqchoth er-apu Vitamin Connection ° ° ° ° ° ° ' ° ° ° ° : Knowledgeable Zi , Profnssionalflorvieo 0...... 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