llld lesbians organizing For change (nine)

BY Joy D. GRIFFITH

”When these changes are accom-
plished, all facets of society will benefit
from the _inclusion of currently
marginalized people and from decreased
negativity associated with a process every
human must endure.” (OITM’s ”Lesbians
Challenging Barriers” April 1998 p. 24)

A small group of old lesbians rec-
ognized their invisibility and decided to
organize and give voice to their griev-
ances and gain empowerment. In April
1987, in Los Angeles 160 lesbians age 60
gathered to discuss the American
society's ageist attitude. This meeting

- was followed by a conference in San

Francisco resulting in representative
groups meeting in Santa Barbara and San
Diego thereby developing a network sys-
tem to begin the work of eradicating age-
ism in our lesbian and feminist commu-
nities as well as society at large. Other
issues included on the agenda affecting
old lesbians are racism, sexism, poverty
as well as health. They chose to use the

‘ phrase ”old” lesbians in order to

habitu_alize it back into its original mean-
ing of ”a biological stage of life” from
our society's present day category of
derogation.

By 1991, OLOC met in Albuquer-
que, NM with representation from Or-
egon, Texas, Arizona, Ohio, Illinois as
well as New Mexico and Northern and
Southern California. At this time, they
had officers, a newsletter, and a Con-
sciousness Raising packet. Shevy Healey,
writer and supporter, gave a final re-
sponse concerning the use of ”old”. ”I
have almost never used the term ”old
woman” or ”old lesbian” without getting
some response; a wince, a titter, a giggle,
heavy silence or an argument. ”Why
should you put it that way? Isn't ‘older’
a better way to say it? To be an old
woman means to be sexless, mindless,
useless, invisible and powerless. We are
taught that old age is tolerable only to
the extent that it mimics youth. The mes-
sage is reinforced for us over and again.
Young lesbians tend to look through us,
dismiss us, speak for us, look up to us as
role models, stances serving to provide
distance between us rather than friend-
ship and comradeship.”

OLOC no longer will collaborate in
age oppression by accommodating to lan-
guage that implies in any way that ”old”
means inferior, ugly or awful. (The next
time you go to a card shop, place all the
over-the-hill hag, wrinkled crone, and
other derogatory ageist birthday cards
behind the complimentary cards!) For to

the degree that lesbians deny their own ‘

aging, they cripple their ability to live.
And live they do: Sara Davis won‘ eight
gold medals in the swimming competi-
lion at the National Gay and Lesbian
Olympics; Shevy Healey, published an
article "Growing Up to Be Old...” in an
Amsterdam anthology; and Kate
Rosenblatt had her play ”Death is a Fam-
ily Affair” produced in Tucson, Arizona.
By using ”old” OLOC gives up the at-
tempt to pass (age pass) thereby break-
ing silence and empowering each other.

By 1992, OLOC produced its first
edition of The Facilitator's Handbook:
Confronting Ageism for Lesbians 60 and
Over! ...a ”how to” guide on educating
about ageism, using the format of Con-
Scjousness Raising. OLOC's networking
hadvexpanded across America and en-
feted its northern neighbor, Canada. Lo-
cal OLOC groups would use the form:
"OLOC-Phoenix” and reports of activi-
ties and activism could be sent to the
{min OLOC hub. Many old lesbians liv-
mg in states where homophobic laws are

still on the books or where there are pe,-,

riodic outbursts of homophobia could
call itself Old Women Organizing for
Change. Its name would then be of the
form: ”OWOC-Midland”.

By 1993, OLOC was finally incor-
porated as a 501c3 entity with grants to
pay a staff and an invitation to the
NGLTF in Washington, DC to define
their agenda. Old lesbians are different
in who they are not, as well as in who
they are. They are not docile and do not
accept the orthodoxies that women are
here to serve and rely upon men. They
are specifically non- conformist having
broken from the mold of main stream
heterosexual relationships, thereby de-
veloping emotional, sexual and political
commitments to women. They do not
identify themselves as the ”grandmoth-
ers” of the world for they have a broader
vision of their lives. They have already
paid a large price for being a woman and
a lesbian and place high value on their
independence and self-reliance. Past op-
pressionshave taught them to be re-
sourceful and to develop special survival
strategies and courage has given them
strength to grow and to love.

Not only is our society rooted with
racism and sexism, but every level of the
social and political structure nourishes
ageism and heterosexism impacting ”us”
in terrible ways. Therefore, old lesbians
expect to be full participants in every-
thing that concerns them. They will be
allies inside and outside the
professions...to be accepted and ac-
knowledged. Where there is research to
be conducted or conferences and semi-
nars held, when social service programs
are structured, old lesbians will be in-
cluded in the planning and design of
such, not just as tokens or volunteers,‘but
as fully paid staff. "Old lesbians are the
only experts available on aging.” For fur-
ther information regarding the Vermont
OLOC Chapter, phone: Joy, 848-7037 or
Al, 863-4822

  

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The Vermont Freedom to Marry
Task Force brings the topic of volunteer-
ing to this issue. Last months column
ended with, ”There is a lot of work to do
to secure civil rights for all Vermonters.
And there is no limit to the ways in which
interested and energetic folks can join our
efforts.” Who is doing the work now? Why
are they so committed? What are the needs
and ways for others to join the effort?
These are the questions to be addressed
in this column. ’

Around the state we have a few re-
gional coordinators. In the Windham
County area Bari Shamas facilitates a
growing an active group. Beth Robinson
and Susan Murray, our co-founders, are
working with folks in the Addison area.
They also are working with Wendy
Beinner who has recently revived organiz-
ing in the Chittenden area. In Bennington
County, Sandi Cote and Bobbi Whitacre
have begun forming an active group by
organizing public forums. Efforts to get
folks motivated and creative in: Franklin,
Rutland, Washington and Windsor coun-
ties, have begun. Bari Shamas coordinates
our various regional contacts around the
state.

All these folks, and the many others
working with them, know the importance
for all gays and lesbian to have equal rec-
ognition under the law. At a recent discus-
sion at the Unitarian Universalists Church
of the Upper Valley, another VFMTF mem-
ber, Lisa Nash, spoke of the constant era-
sure by society when our families are not
recognized. There is no place or way for
committed gay and lesbian couples to fill
out simple registrations or information
formsand be visible. ‘ a

That invisibility is both a hurtful and
an unnecessary burden which we bear.
John Calvi is a longtime out spoken activ-
ist in the need of recognizing our families.
He continues working towards the goal
of civil marriage being available to same
gender couples. When asked why, he said,
”for justice and to work against a nasty
rumor that gay people do not love each

Notes From the  
Freedom to Marry
Task Force

by Bari Shamas

other.” » ¢

There was an older woman at the
UUCUV discussion. She shared that as a
lesbian with a partner of over twenty years
she has seen a lot of change. Twenty years
ago their concerns were in keeping their
jobs and protecting themselves from vio-
lence. From her perspective much has
changed. (Which is true. In Vermont, laws
have been enacted since the mid eighties,
protecting gays and lesbians from dis-
crimination in the workplace, in housing
and against violence.) But, she added, she
could now see that these welcome changes
are not enough. The struggle for equal
rights continues and marriage rights are
the next logical step.

The Vermont Freedom to Marry
Task Force is committed_to gaining mar-
riage civil rights for all Vermonters. As one

. volunteer.recently.-noted, ”we, encounter . . .

a lot of folks who never thought about
marriage between same sex partners, or
whose initial instinct was to oppose our
freedom to marry. It's been tremendously
gratifying to watch their. views evolve as
they have come to understand how the
state's discriminatory laws undermine
valuable family relationships.”

Our experience confirms that per-
sonal non—threatening contacts with our
friends, neighbors, co-workers and ex-
tended families shifts their awareness to
an understanding of how important it is
to value and support all families. We are
continuing our work in holding public
forums, staffing information tables, host-

- ing fund raisers and encouraging others

to participate in this historic process of
change. (See the calendar for a listing of
where we will be in May and June).

To meet our goal we need show our
commitment. We face a well funded and
highly committed opposition to any ad-
vancement of civil rights for gays and les-
bians or recognition of our valued place
in society. They have ”fire—in—the-belly”
motivation for their cause. We have to
match that. Working for equal rights is
challenging and exciting work.

Without joining any organized effort
anybody can participate in this effort by
sharing thoughts, by coming out, and
making space for dialog about what same
gender civil marriage is all about.

If you are interested in working with
the Task force there are many ways to be a
part of VFMTF. We need to broaden our
regional presence. Opportunities exist for