The Way We Pay: Reflections on an Atlantis Cruise ‘Nu BY PAUL OLSEN fter the ice storm of 1998, I was looking forward to my winter vacation away from the cold of Vermont. This year my friend Brad and I decided to go on an all—gay Atlantis cruise. What's not to love about the prospects of 900 gay men (and 12 lesbi- ans) ”cruising” through the Caribbean for seven days? The ship's planned itinerary in- cluded stops at Grand Cay- man, Cancun, Cozumel, and the Bahamas. Even before we set sail from Miami, the trip appeared to be jinxed. Before arriving in South Beach we found ourselves in the middle of an international incident. ”After great delibera- 'tion, the joint ministries of the Government of the Cayman Islands have voted to deny landing rights to the M / S Lee- ward”, wrote the Cayman Is- lands Government's Minister of Tourism Thomas C. Jefferson. '7 We cannot count on this group to uphold the stan- dards of appropriate behavior expected of visitors to the Cay- man Islands” Jefferson con- cluded. As comedian Mark Davis (of NBC’s ”Fired Up”) said on the ship, the ”great de- liberation” was probably a bunch of fat guys sitting around talking about how much they hate gay people. As far as upholding moral stan- dards, Jefferson was right. A ship full of gay men cannot uphold the moral standards of the Cayman Islands. Gay men don't launder money! As a re- sult of this incident Out 8 About, the national gay travel magazine, has called for a ‘travel boycott of the Cayman Islands. Personally I think the whole Cayman denial was a clever marketing scheme on the part of Atlantis President Rich Campbell. Curiously the cruise didn't fill until after the Cayman controversy made in- ternational headlines. (As he was busy chasing Asian pas- sengers Campbell was un- available to talk with this re- porter.) Belize was substituted for our Grand Cayman stop. And apparently the story of the Mighty Leeward made the in- ternational press. In Belize the holy rollers turned out to pro- test our visit. These people, who claim to be close to God, actually threw bricks at our busses. People in Belize also have a strange custom of wav- ing with their middle finger extended. Seems to be an odd way to welcome visitors. It re- ally was an educational trip. Once we got beyond the God Squad, Belize was quite beau- tiful. Nice ruins, fabulous div- ing, lush jungles and great rum punch. A Cozumel was also a nice spot but a little too commercial for my taste. It's like visiting one big Pier 1 Imports store. However, once you get out of town the beaches are great, as is the tequila. Our visit to Cancun was also canceled. Seems the water was rough and docking would be risky. The Mexican port of Playa Del Carmen was substituted for Cancun. While docked at Playa Del Carmen_the ship was over- taken by a swarm of~bees around the pool. I mean thou- sands of them. I figure they were probably looking for their queen. An interesting note: muscle queens are afraid 'of bees. Life on the ship was in- teresting. The Norwegian Cruise Line crew was great. Shocked at times, but great. Atlantis cruises seem to be a cross between Tea Dance at the Boatslip’ and a floating 456. Lots of dancing, cocktails, aerobics, theme parties, atti- tude, and plenty of high drama on the high seas. One queen had a fight with her lover and literally jumped overboard. As a result of this idiocy we were woken up at 4:00 a.m. with the captain announcing ”Code Oscar, Code Oscar, Code Os- car”. That. must be maritime language for fag overboard. After pulling him out of the water they kicked him off the ship. Seems to me that they should have just left him in the drink. Speaking of drinks, the cruise was all—inclrusive except for drinks. My bar tab wasn't all that bad. Good thing I didn't make this trip ten years ago. I used to be able to drink a lot more. While the concept of briefly visiting countries for a few hours to be waited on by the natives felt like American imperialism, overall the Atlantis cruise was fun. The Atlantis team is friendly (and cute) and there are plenty of activities to occupy your time CFIUISING, p24 OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS — MARCH .1998 — 13 PIQOGENY The Birth Of A New Column CIIIIIIIIIIISI - Barbara 0018108 About nine months ago, the volunteer in charge of volunteers on the Planet Out web site announced that several new message boards (a.k.a. bulletin boards or news. groups) were going to be set up. She wanted to know what topics we wanted .to see that weren't there already. In my fools-rush—in mode, I suggested gay parenting. I wanted a place where gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, all of us could come together and talk about our kids or even our lack of them. Turns out, I was not alone in this desire. Everyone loved the idea. Now, who should moderate the board? Before I knew it, I was being called Mother Superior or Momrnie Dearest, depending on how the day was going,,and meeting an incredible group of people. I don't care about the legends and rumors. If you want to keep a mixed-gender group of queers from in—fighting or even shamelessly flirting, ask them about their kids. And it came to pass that I discovered Out in the Mountains and Chris knew an eager writer and volunteer when he saw one. One thing led to another, and here I sit writing the first installment of a monthly column on gay parenting. I obtained my daughter’s permission to write this. I warned her that there would be times when I just wouldn't be able to stop myself from sharing stories about her, but she gave me her seal of approval. The child is not particularly shy. Anyone who was at Pride in Burlington last year may remember a little girl in the front of the Bread and Puppet boat. All you could really see was the top of her head and the flag she was waving, but she was there. That's my baby. I digress already. I'm no expert. I am merely a lesbian writer with a child. Those are my credentials. I will be sharing the products of my research on specific topics and thoughts on my personal experiences here. This is not going to be an advice column. I/Vhat it will be is a forum for a wide range of topics that concern us as parents. Although much of it will have a gay slant, there will be some topics that are just plain parenting. I love to dig around libraries and talk to the true experts. Give me a sugges- tion and I'll run with it. In the next few issues I plan to write about the ways we become gay parents: Artificial insemination, adoption, heterosexual re- lationships, relationships with people who are already parents, ‘etc. This seems like the natural place to start. From there, who knows? You are witnessing a birth, or, at least,‘ a beginning. Actually, I suppose this is only the labor pains, maybe still just the embry- onic stage. Well, anyway, it's well past conception. And it shall be called ‘Progeny.’ THE Mo STLY UNEABULOUS SOCIAL LIFE OF ETI-IAN GREEN _~ 0-) 1- ProbLeN\° C retrain our Hero worK- . . . rouble 6%? .t .. . Dip . NVITE HIS FRIE Lean To snw AT my ., PLACE Fox a couPLe s DAYS NEXTM°NTl-I.SHE’S some To as were visifine _ REl|;A'rivES 5.92 inc: on His nexT c.ocKTAiLa1t Jet-ITo‘$. Where Buck Tenéls BAr. a Tires! CLvbTHATZ$ been in Business Since CON0\,UUl5- Taotores FirST 5eT|‘Le& T.l’i.e sme bAcK Arounél 300 13.6. 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