12 — OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS — MARCH 1998 ON THE OTHER HAND... (Anything That Moves? columnist — Kimberly A. Ward ferred to in one breath. A look at the only national bi sexual magazine's title illustrates this. Anything That Moves has been titled such in an effort to reclaim the derogatory stereotype and use it to help catch the eye of people who might benefit from reading it. It is a magazine dedicated to advancing and discussing not only the freedoms and issues of bisexuals, but also of transsexuals, polyamorists, monogamists and people B isexuality and sexual ‘liberalism’ in general are often rel . who believe in the right of all people (no matter their shape, size, orientation, race, ability, gender or age) to be proud of their bodies, and proud of being sexual beings. Because of its very sexual nature, then, Anything That Moves is often marginalized and avoided by members of the glbtq community as a bit too radical to have on the shelves. * This brings the ultimate (and often revisited) question up. At what price, sexual freedom? When ATM reclaims this de- rogatory term shunted onto bisexuals for so long, are we simul- taneously embracing a freedom while driving away potential allies and members of the bi community in need of a forum? On top _of this question, lie some other more broad ranging ques- tions about 1)how much true freedom the glbtq movement has managed to wrest from society and 2) how people are served by their community publications, even if they don't hold up an ideal image of who we are, individually. It is such a necessity to have ’ publications that reflect and support the cloistered masses in communities like the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning, communities. Local papers like Out in the Mountains, Trans, and Reaching Out as well as national magazines all serve to create a connec- tion on a national level intrinsic to the fabric of our cultures, binding together the far flung members of these communities in more routine way then any once a year pride march can ever do, just by their regularity. They come to our doors or appear on the newsstands like clockwork, reminding us that we do exist outside of our own heads and hearts, or individual relationships, while they inform us as to where we might meet, advocate, and rejoice in our lives and issues. These announcements and news stories come from all over the state, the country and, even more now, the world. Without them we would live in far more iso- lated world. Yet, with Anything that Moves, the subject of whether the twin topics of sexual liberalism and sexual orienta- tion should be discussed comes up again and again. From the moment I asked to have it carried in Burlington I got the strangest responses. At the Peace Justice store (where they have now carried ATM for almost a year) the clerk behind the counter insisted that the magazine was carried years before but that it had too many ”naked dirty old men” in it and so it had been discontinued. This startled me, since I know many of the volunteers who put the magazine together and it seemed to me a judgment statement for this person to be making. The fact that our main-stream American culture believes the only good naked person is a pre-adolescent, anorexic female is reflected in this comment. Since the Peace and Justice Center is committed to breaking the rules of the mainstream society that created such a myth, I found it hard to believe and went to the horses mouth to request the magazine be carried. The owner easily agreed to ~ carry An}/thing That Moves as long as it continued to sell. And it does. It is sold out every time I go in! This was my goal, to get a bisexual magazine on the racks of a store in Vermont so that I would know people out there who were isolated and had no idea whether there was even a bi community could go to see the . opinions and ideas of other bisexuals. But what about getting to the population that doesn't feel comfortable or interested in a magazine which is overtly sexual? And what about getting that bi community connection with our youth, whose only connection to glbtq information and issues may be through quarterlies like Outright Vermont's Reaching Out magazine? An_1/thing That Moves won't be showing up on their library periodical shelves anytime soon. So, where in this vast world of newsprint do they turn? My hope is that they will get more more of their validation, acknowledgment and infor- mation on bi issues from the existing glbtq publications, not because the bi community should ride on the coat tails of any ‘other’ community, but because the bi population has been and will continue to be an often invisible part of the gay, lesbian, and transgendered movements. We are there, because we have been for as long as the community has existed, and we are just now beginning ‘to have exclusively bi forums from which to erenity and Revolution seem like contradictory concepts, but I'd like to share a portion of my own journey that involves holding both these notions in my soul at once. These are musings Cnow’s Caws On Serenity and Revolution about the process of embracing revo- lution, not a polit- ical description of my particular ‘ theories. That will come later. I was introduced to revo- lutionary ideas in the mid—70’s when there was a large com- munity of women committed to protest, activism and com- munity—building, who ex- pressed themselves through‘ writing, art, music and politi- cal discourse. We definitely commanded attention in the streets and in‘ the media. We were fervent, brave, loud and proud. We pissed off a lot of people (including each other), and we were instrumentalin creating many sweeping changes in the dominant cul- ture: rape crises centers, women's health centers, com- missions on the status of women, job equity changes, violence against women awareness - the list goes on and on. We tenaciously clung to the tail of a piece of universal truth about oppression that saved many of our lives and ex- panded global consciousness. I am incredibly grateful that I somehow landed in the thick of that heady era and shouted as loud as I couldlat the time demanding liberation. If you had mentioned the word "’se— renity” to me back then, I would have equated it with boredom, wimpiness, passiv- ity. After a few years, I rec- ognized I was a drug addict. I fell in love with pot because it helped alter my consciousness and ease the transition from suburbanized Air Force wife to radical lesbian feminist. Ten years ago I found myself trapped in such excruciating inner isolation that I reached out for help and focused on healing, letting go of concepts of revolution since they terri- fied me as I sobered up. (I ac- knowledge that turning my back on revolution was a privi- lege since a lot of oppressed people in this world would be dead if they gave up their revo- lution for long periods of time.) In other words, over the course of ten years, I switched bottom lines. No longer do I base life decisions and actions guided by concepts of revolution. In- stead, when push comes to shove, I try to base my actions on concepts of sobriety, seren- ity, humility. Counter—revolutionary? I don't think so. Recently I have finally come around to re—in— troducing the word revolution into my thoughts, my vocabu- lary, my community. (Those universal truths have a way of creeping in the back door even if the front door gets slammed shut.) I have reached a point in my spiritual development where I feel I can afford to again invite such a potentially wild, unnerving, heady, gran- diose, dangerous, ungrounding, (let's face it - ”high”-) concept back into my life. Don't get me wrong. I never completely gave up po- litical activism all those years. I just didn't let revolutionary ideology rent too much space in my head because I associ- ated it with being stoned, and I needed to break that obses- sion before I could think clearly. (By the way, I'm not suggesting that the use of drugs and alcohol mess up all people. Not everyone who uses these substances turns into an addict. I certainly did, though.) I believe that valuing se- renity can inform the forging of revolution. How might that play out? For one thing, I at- tempt to avoid power—driven argument. That means that I do the best I can not to nag, scream or shove my ideas down someone’s throat whether they like it or not. I also count on attraction rather than promotion to get my ideas across. This means if I'm hold- ing onto a piece of universal truth, it will change me from the inside out. People will sense that and will want what I have instead of my insisting they grab onto it or be damned. It means that I do the footwork of revolution but not get too attached to the results which are largely out of my hands. I - can only do my own small part, and only time will tell (perhaps not even within my life- time) if the planet will be saved from hu- man destruction. I no longer entertain grandiose notions that I have control over results. It means that if my prime mo- tivation is revenge, I need to step back and develop another strategy since revenge (self- righteous anger) keeps me re- actionary and obsessed rather than compassionate and ethi- cal. It means that I need to in- fuse my revolution with joy if I want to keep embracing a concept that doesn't burn me out and turn me into a bitter, unapproachable human being. Anger is one of my most use- ful tools in fomenting revolu- tion. I wouldn't even bother with any of it if I weren't pro- foundly angry at the strangle- hold patriarchy has on the world. I treasure my anger, but I seek plenty of help in not let- ting the anger drive me into a corner - especially horizontal anger directed at my radical sisters and brothers. This is not to say that when I put out my Views, plenty of people will not get furious. It just means I don't necessarily have to react with public fury at that mo- .ment but can vent the rage in a safe place where it won't en- tirely block communication. Let me tell you, it takes tremendous effort to channel revolutionary energy construc- tively. I constantly ask for help these days. I'm passionate by nature, a Screamer by upbring- ing. Spiritual discipline and impulse control do not come easily. I make a lot of mistakes, but I've learned to apologize more readily as well. I know I can't do it alone; hence, I am intent on building community But by putting serenity first in my life, I can begin to trust that the revolution, when and if it ever comes about, will have a healthy, compassionate foun- dation and not just end up pa- triarchal bullshit in reverse. 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