. IDYKE PSYCHE: Lesbian Sex at Menopause - As Good Or Better ThanEver by Esther Rothblum ”More pleasure than I ever experienced. More wis- dom, and a fantastic lover.” The term menopause re- fers to the end of menstruation due to changes in ovarian func- tioning. Estrogen and proges- terone levels decline, cycles become longer, and menstrua- tion eventually ceases. Meno- pause is generally defined as at least 12 months of not hav- ing a menstrual cycle (though some women become meno- pausal instantly through hav- ing a hysterectomy or other gynecologic surgery). The av- erage age of menopause is 51 years with the range extending from 48 to 53 for a woman's last period. "Women tend to begin to notice changes in their ‘ menstrual cycle in their late thirties and forties. The terms ”climacteric” _ or ”perimenopause” refer to that time period, usually spanning several years, during which cyclic functioning of the ova- ries is changing. Nearly all research stud- ies about sexual functioning and menopause assume that women's sexuality is inter- course-based and hetero- sexual. About a decade ago, Ellen Cole and I attempted to get a fuller picture of sex at menopause among lesbians. We developed a questionnaire designed to assess changes at menopause in sexual behavior and attitudes. We asked about menstrual history, partner characteristics, sexual behav- ior, changes in and quality of sexual activity, sexual prob- lems, favorite sexual activities, sexual desire, sexual excite- ment, orgasm, pain with sex, sexual response ofpartners, and other perceived positive and negative changes in sexu- ality since menopause. Finally, we asked each respondent to complete the following sen- ' tence: ”Based on my experi- ence, sex at menopause is...” Forty—one women re- sponded to notices in local and national lesbian newspapers and to questionnaires distrib- uted at two conferences. The average age of the women was 51.5 years‘, with a range from 43 to 68 years. One woman indicated her race/ ethnicity to be Lebanese, the remainder were Caucasian. All women indicated that they were lesbi- ans, except one who was bi- sexual and two who did not in- dicate sexual orientation. One said, ”Lesbian at present, prob- ‘ ably bisexual.” 0' On average, the women had their last menstrual period just under five years ago, but the range was considerable; from two years to 41 years ago. Seven women (16%) had had a hysterectomy. Fourteen women (34%) were taking hor- mone replacement medication and one was taking homeo- pathic remedies. All but nine women were currently engaged in sexual ac- tivity with other women. Fre- quency of “sexual activity ranged considerably from 1-2 times daily to monthly or rarely. Nineteenwomen (46%) stated that frequency of sexual activity had remained the same since the onset of meno- pause; six women (15%) stated that sexual activityhad in- creased and eleven (27%) that it had decreased. We asked women if there had been a change in the typ_e of sexual ac- tivity in which they engaged since menopause. Ten women (24%) indicated that there was. Positive changes included: ”More exploration - or- gasms increased greatly as time went on; for me and for her. And the affection was al- most constant — when we were together.” Some women also re- sponded that there was less genital involvement and less deep kissing. One woman said she and her partner choose to only embrace and deep kiss now. Another woman said her changes have more to do with wisdom than hormones. Two other women indicated that they were more sexual since menopause, had more part- ners, and more quantity and quality of sexual activity.‘ We asked specifically whether there were kinds of sexual activity that women ufi to prefer but no longer do, or that they now enjoy but didn't prior to menopause. Twenty-nine women (71%) in- dicated that there was no change in the types of activi- ties they had enjoyed since the onset of menopause. Of the twelve women (29%) who did notice a difference, comments included increased interest in rougher sex with penetration, _ ability to sustain orgasm for a longer period; increased hold- ing, hugging, cuddling; in- creased sexual communication due to experiences with other women from previous rela- tionships; more manual and genital sex; decreased time spent in sexual activity; and a greater focus on safer sex. Sev- eral women indicated that changes in their sexual activ- ity were not necessarily related to menopause, but instead were due to such factors as ”the timely mellowing of our relationship.” We asked specifically about the guality of women's sexual experience since meno- pause, including the level of enjoyment, pleasure, and sat- isfaction. We wanted to know how women explained these changes. Twelve women (29%) indicated no changes or no regular sexual activity. Eleven women (27%) indicated some decrease in perceived quality. Some comments included ref-' erences to changes in physiol- ogy: ”Orgasms are not as in- tense as in the 20's and 30's and even 40’s.” ”Pleasure still the same but I hate not getting wet.” Other comments referred to possible negative conse- quences of hormone replace- ment therapy: ”I am having sex less of- ten but it is probably a function of hormone therapy and not menopause.” Some women referred to their,partner’s sexuality as a contrast: ”Yes, it takes longer to be aroused. I desire more fore- play and tenderness during love making. I don't understand these changes. I am very disappointed in my- self and feel guilty that my lover feels rejected (in) my lack of desire. Could have some- thing to do with my feeling older and my worrying about losing my attractiveness.” There was a feeling of loss: ”Greater enjoyment in af- fection and quiet sensuality. Some regret at loss of passion and enjoyment that went with it.” Twelve women (29%) ex- pressed an increase in the qual- ity of sex since menopause. Their comments indicated that sex was better and more fulfill- ing: DYKE PSYCHE, p20 OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS — NOVEMBER 1997 — 19 Susan McKenzie MS. Licensed Psychologist~Master Experienced therapist specializing In the individual and = relationship issues of Lesbian. Women and Gay Men Quechee Montpelier 802 295-5533 Norwich Insurance Accepted-Sliding Fee Scale WOMEN ’c$?CHOlCl'l GYNECOLOGIC ASSOCIATES Cheryl A. Gibson M.D. Susan F. Smith M.D. a 23 Mansfield Avenue. Burlington, Vermont 05401 802-863-9001 Fax:802-863-4951 PRIMARY CARE IN FRANKLIN COUNTY Mara Vijups, M.D. Family Practice Specialist NMC Rural Health Services Caring for Adults & Children Enosburg 9 33-583 1 Swanton 868-2454 ’ Forest Family Dentistry East Fairfield 827-3032 Laurie Ann Forest, D.D.S. The Heritage I Building 81 River Street Montpelier, VT 05602 (802) 229-0033 Live our highest potential Arh V Luci wi n WHITE PINE POLARITY Geralyn Roscoe, RN, RFP Greenwind DeCelle, APP North Wolcott, Vermont Burlington, Vermont 802-888-3087 Womenis Psychotherapy Group ./Vow For/nt-/7_q An ongoing group focused on issues relating to intimacy. l0:30-l2 noon Tuesdays For more information call 802-862-693 .1 Lauren Berrizbcitia * Vertise I