"Don't Cry For Me Vermont!" - Constance Craving Morns the Loss of Local Lucky LaBouche ell, Constance can only wonder if it is something she said, it seems yet another drag queen is leaving the Vermont scene. Lucky LaBouche, has already taken leave of us, going to Columbia to teach English. Columbia, where a person is kidnapped every eight minutes. Lucky, who tells us she is due to be kidnapped sometime ‘in March, will at least be able to earn some money on the side translating ransom notes into English. Why Lucky, Why? How will Burlington con- tinue without its official drag queen, and of course the question on everyone’s mind. Who will take care of Elanor? Someone who drinks Wild Tur- key and is willing to drive long dis- tances early in the morning. Well, she'll be back, after all, Ma- donna already did that marry a South American dictator thing. So Constance has been sent all kinds of promotional material about various compa- nies in the area starting their sea- sons. First of course she is very excited about UVM doing An- gels In America. Don't miss that, and also in May‘ at the Flynn, Stella Chiweshe will be a part of the Global Divas show. This show is a must see, if even just for Stella Chiweshe, known as Zimbabwe's queen of the M’Biza. On the other hand, Constance Patankin is near selling out at the already. Is it possible that Constance 1400 Mandy Patankin fans? Are there country? . Constance smells a conspiracy. band, Phowl, is that what they are their fans around the country so they sell is concerned that Mandy Flynn, if he has not done so lives in an area that has even that many in the Perhaps this is like that local called? You know, that band that ships out shows in various areas where the people have -never heard of them. Meanwhile, as they convince 20,000 people to travel around the country guzzling fossil fuels, they like to talk about what they do for the environment. Well Constance is still a little bitter, since having to deal with the band's fans at Bread and Puppet. But it was worth it, if even just to see her old dear friend, reknowned Philadelphia Pup- peteer, Radical Faerie and Bread and Puppetress, Matty Boy dressed as Venus the planet in the Circus. The first, as far as anyone knows, real drag done in Glover. And he looked stunning. So, those of you up on celebrity sighfing must know by now that it was not, Andrew Cunanan who was seen in Lebanon New Hampshire. I mean if I was a serial Killer, lord knows I would go to Lebanon, NH. However, Constance has learned something very interesting from a very good friend of hers on the inside of the ”The Fashion industry.” No not Georgio, nor Donna, and I'm not telling. Anyway, according to Constance's friend, Versace was not killed by Andrew Cunanan, but in- stead by the mafia, for whom he had been laundering money. Apparently Versace never went anywhere without his lover, doted on him day and night, but all of a sudden Versace spends three days in a row in public withouthis lover. Apparently sister Donatella was seen in public those three days accompanied by four body guards. Versace was killed by two marksman shots to the back of the skull — very gangland. Andrew Cunanan is arguably the sloppiest serial killer in history. Now imagine this, Andrew Cunanan is on the run, trying to stay alive, desperate to escape, so he drives to a crowded wealthy gay area to kill a famous designer? Either Cunanan was really bad at getaway plans, or something is rotten in the state of Florida? OK, OK, maybe I'm just trying to turn this whole thing into something more interesting than it is, it doesn't match up to more recent quasi-gay scandals of past August's like Michael Jackson or Jeffrey Dahmer, basically its a real snoozer, unless you honestly believe by putting on a pair of glasses really qualifies as becoming ”A master of disguise.” Out in the Mountains is looking for Interns. Interns will work with the editor, write articles, cover events and also work on outreach, distribution, research, fundraising, grant writing and various other aspects of production. Some travel might be required. Contact Chris Moes at (802)658-6008, or email at OITM@together.net for more information. OUT IN THE MOUNTAINS — SEPTEMBER 1997 — 5 sand more 100 Acres - Pool Hot Tub - Trails T59 CHI hlandg ‘Inn PO.‘ Box 118 Bethlehem, NH 03574 (603) 869-3978 20 Charming Rooms Peace 8: Privacy A LESBIAN PARADISE I 9/ Seafood and Steak Tavern LUDLOW3 PREMIERE DINNER HOUSE wa - -P-V-I-v .-9.4-—. . ‘sure we - Ludlw, vc - 802-228-5622 Visit Our Web Page: http:/ / www.sover.ne’t/ ~seafood1 .ArCadia House V Elegant Accommodations PO Box 520 V Hyde Park, VT 05655 7 802-888-9147 john Towne V Ed Pepe Y Innkeepers Quality Web Page Design Our quality designs and reasonable rates make establishing a Web presence a viable option Phone: 802-879-4527 .-mail solutlons@pwsolutions.com ' ttpzllpwsolutions.com/papcrwork/ ‘ The Mostly Unbabuloua Social Lite 01; Ethan Green by Eric Orner _ The Gay Man’s Guide 150 ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS (Part 1} SISTERS are your dearest friends. The ones with whom you share history, humilia- tions and hotel rooms. Sisters are who‘, you couldn't live without. Sisters are who you imagine bawling at your funeral. OLD TRICKS are the guys you‘ said . you'd hook up with again. but cliélrft. Old Tricks can begracious, “It was fun ” or pissy CURRENT 'I'RI;‘:lI<8 are-who you rush home to check for messages from. Current Tricks.a,re the subject. of . Sis? rly indulgence and Old Trick Fury stopped adoring. Buftro GIRL!-‘RIENDS are straight women that you met in oollege and mover I=:mAvl- ., (F rouarvavr: visit: is 5'fRAIm.;