-e~————--~,~4 _

 

Domestic Violence

Deserves Better Coverage

Dear OITM,

I can't presume to know, or name, the specific
situation of Roberta MacDonald and Estella Davis
(“From Insult to Injury," February 1997]. However,
my years of experience in both Massachusetts and
Vermont, working with and developing services for
survivors of same-sex domestic violence, compels
me to name OITM s coverage of the situation as
dangerous, in what remains unexamined and
unquestioned.

Most disturbing in this article is the complete
absence of the voice of MacDonald, who asserts that
she was struck by Davis. Davis is allowed a
tremendous amount of room to excuse and explain
her actions. While I appreciate the enormous hurt
of their recent experience of being subjected to hate
crimes, the logo of the battered women's movement
—— ‘There is no excuse for domestic violence" — does
not remain contingent on a straight sexual
orientation of the abuser. Nowhere in this article
does MacDonald name her own experience. Was
she offered the opportunity?

I am also deeply troubled by the perpetuation of
myths about same-sex domestic assault in this
article. The author notes that “MacDonald is
evidently much larger and stronger than (Davis) is."
Gay and lesbian batterers have often exploited
assumptions that we can spot an abuser at a dozen
paces; that he/she will be the one who is bigger or
butcher, and that this is a problem only for bar
dykes/ SM boys/non-feminist lesbians, etc.

I have talked with women whose abusers worked
at battered women's shelters, or appeared physically
small and harmless, or (commonly) proclaimed
themselves to be victims of “mutual abuse." In my
experience, clarity can come from careful listening:
who is afraid in the relationship? Where, and how,
does each individual place the responsibility for
violent acts? Who is trying to change for her/his
partner? Who is insisting, overtly or not, on those
changes? Domestic abuse is about power and
control, and these can take many shapes.

Our responsibility, in our community, must be
to provide support and safety to individuals who
have been victimized by their gay and lesbian
partners. Two books which are helpful in
understanding same-sex domestic violence are: Men
Who Beat the Men Who Love Them by David Island
and Patrick Letellier, and Naming the Violence:
Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering by Kerry
Lobel.

Sincerely,
Celia Cuddy
Jeffersonville VT

The Editor responds: Many thanks for the helpful
suggestions and additional resources on this
important yet often overlooked problem

To clanjy matters, both MacDonald and Davis
contacted OITM about their story, and both were given
the chance to explain what happened in subsequent
interviews. Both were upset that Davis’s suicidal

outburst was labeled as domestic violence by the '

courts and the newspapers; their intention in
contacting OITM was to clarify the context of the
incident. Both reported that Davis stnick MacDonald;
both also described the extreme circumstances which
contributed to the violence and the subsequent call
to the police for assistance in preventing Davis's
suicide.

in noting that MacDonald was “evidently much
larger and stronger than Davis," the author intended
the word “evidently" to be read literally and not
presumptively — i.e. to mean that MacDonald is
visibly and unquestionably larger and stronger. No
assumptions were being made beyond that statement
offact; both women discussed this apparent
mismatch of size and strength as a crucial component
in understanding the context of the incident and the
policemen’s response at the scene.

OIT M does not wish or intend tojudge whether or
not this particular incident qualifies as “domestic
violence.” Such an investigation is beyond the scope
of the paper and the capabilities of its volunteer stafl'.
We do, however, welcome discussion on the general
topic of domestic violence in future issues, and are
pleased that the story may have allowed for a greater
understanding of and sensitivity to the matter as It
applies to our communities. — Ed.

Letter of Concern

From the Board of Directors

is this newspaper important to you? Whether it is or isn't, it should be. it is the only forum
in Vermont that speaks to, about, and for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered
communities. Everyone trom the political activist who sees his or her name in these pages
every month to the closeted queen living quietly on a remote dirtroad depends on Out in
the Mountains tor a connection to our community.

And Out in the Mountains depends on each of you. This newspaper is struggling to put
out each issue — and it always has. We, the Board of Directors of Mountain Pride Media,
publisher of Out in the Mountains — are slowly trying to transform this alI—volunteer
organization into something more professional and ultimately sustainable. We believe in
the mission of this newspaper: to provide news and views of the gay-Iesbian-bisexual-
transgendered community to everyone, both gay and gay-triendiy.

But it's not easy, and we need your help. Unfortunately, so much depends on money
and we haven’t got much. We need equipment — a computer ot our own would be nice.
And it we could pay an editor even part time, we could do an even better job ot covering
this community.

So consider this a challenge. Do you own a gay or gay-friendly business? Advertise with
us. You’Ilbe surprised how many people will patronize you simply because ot your support
ot the community. And do you subscribe to this newspaper? it doesn't cost much to you,
but it is expensive to mail it out or to get it to distribution points. And, tinally, do you have
news that should be shared with the rest ot the community? We should know about It, but
we may not unless you communicate with us.

We know that every organization struggles. That's the nature of our community, given how
relatively small it is. But we believe this one serves a unique purpose in speaking to this
diverse community. After all, our strength is our diversity. Help us to celebrate it.

Mountain Pride Media Board of Directors:
Deborah Lashman, President
Kathie Sawyer, Vice President
Elizabeth Campbell, Treasurer
Ross Sneyd, Secretary

Hugh Coyle, Editor

Paula Baker

Margrit Dutta

Keith Goslant

Joy Grittith

Nat Harrison

Steven Kopstein

Rachel Lurie

Thelma Stoudt

   

#

This space paid for by Ross Sneyd

r——‘-—:I_-j——zj—j——“_j“:::_‘:1

Out in the Mountains

  

VERMONT’S FORUM FOR LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENDER ISSUES

By subscribing now to Out in the Mountains, not only will you guarantee delivery to your mailbox
(in a discreet envelope), but you will also help us to underwrite the rising costs of publishing and
distributing the newspaper. We welcome any additional contributions you can make to support our
continuing existence. Checks should be made payable to our publisher, Mountain Pride Media,
and sent, along with this form, to: OITM ' PO Box 177 ' Burlington VT 05402-0177.

Name

Address

Town/City State Zip
One Year ($20) Low Income ($10)

Would you like tojoin our E-mail "alert" list? Address: _

I Sponsors who contribute $30 or more will be honored in an upcoming list in the paper: 3/97

Sponsor (SS )

I
I
I
I
I
I
I

~ I
I
I
I
I

-I

~ Out and About r

E. Ingrid Anderson of Weathersfield Bow was recently re—elected Co—Chair of the Vermont Statewide
Independent Living Council (SILC). The goup exists to "advance the equality with which people
with disabilities enjoy, participate in, and contribute to the lives of their communities, families,
and friends...Steph Pappas, frequent. hostess of the Women's Cabaret at 135 Pearl, recently
released a CD of her critically acclaimed music entitled “not on the map”, and keep an eye out for
the release of 135 Pearl DJ cRAIG mITCHELL's disc "Naked" on April 1st. CRAIG has also recently
published a book of poetry and essays entitled “The Steady Stream of Unconsciousness"...“Love

~ Makes a Family," a photo essay on “Living in Lesbian and Gay Families,” was recently shown at

The Gallery of the Living/ Learning Center at the University of Vermont. The presentation was co-
sponsored in part by the UVM GLB Alliance. . .Stac1Anne Visco has become the Production Manager
for Out in the Mountains. In addition to layout, Staci will also continue to grace our pages with her
photography, which was recently presented in a one—woman show entitled “With Open Eyes" at

the Fletcher Free Library. V

\

If you have news you'd like to include in our monthly “Out and About" column (weddings,

anniversaries, births, deaths, awards, promotions, etc.), please send them in to us at PO Box ~

177, Burlington VT 05402 or e-mail us at oitm@together.net. Don’t forget to include your name
and phone number in case we need to contact you for clarification or verification. ,

March 1997