l‘

isriviv l s n u u 1:.

On the Other Hand:

A Look at Vita Sackville-West

‘by Kimberly Ward

A poster in the Outright Vermont office says
“History has set the record a little too straight.”
Several faces are on it: scientists, musicians, and
writers — people who helped set records and
start movements in their fields. A

The one who always catches my eye is Virginia
Woolf. Her Bloomsbury demeanor and sultry
“bedroom eyes” bid me to look closer, dig
deeper into what made the life of such a brilliant
writer. She is known all over the world for her
intellectual prowess, her deftness with a pen, and
(to women) as someone who opened a world of
career opportunity.

But what is her significance to the gay world?
She was a successful lesbian, and when people in
the straight community learn that a favorite

. writer, actor, musician, or scientist is gay or

lesbian, it can often change attitudes. A
prominent person who bucks gender roles can do
the same, just as Babe Didrickson proved that
women can be strong athletes and Dr. Spock
proved that men can be nurturing parents.

So, what about the icon in our culture who is
sexually more ambiguous? What do we do with a
Madonna Ciccone, a Freddy Mercury, or a Vita
Sackville-West? Because they cannot be
categorized as easily as someone who claims
loudly YES I AM GAY or YES I AM
LESBLAN, we tend to try and explain away their
other sexual/emotional activity. We even vilify
them as the cause of heterosexual animosity.

Why? Is it the need to carve a niche that is
distinctively different from the 90% heterosexual
world? Or is it a need to be able to easily identify
those that are “like me?” We want to feel that the
one thing that is so important in defining us is
not isolating, that there is a community for us.
Once that has been established, we begin to look
for people in history, forefathers and
foremothers, with whom we can identify.

Earlier this year, I saw a collection of
biographical stories about “lesbians in history” in
the bookstore. Vita Sackville-West was in the

index. I fumed. I felt invisible and slighted. '

After all, she had always been MY bisexual icon.

I decided to write a paper or. an article “proving”
that Vita was bisexual, that she belonged to “our
camp,” so to speak. In my mind’s eye, it was the
right thing to do, because there aren’t enough
people acknowledged to be bisexual in the
public’s eye. In other words, to me, history had
also been set a little “too gay.” 5

When I began researching the article, I had
already read the collection of letters Vita and

Virginia Woolf had written to each other over '

their lifetimes. I knew she was married to Harold
Nicholson; therefore, in my mind, she was
bisexual. But when I read the introduction to
Harold and Vita, I was sure I had been mistaken
about the couple’s sexual orientation.

Their son Nigel, who wrote the introduction to
the book, tells the reader that Harold and Vita
gave up sexual relations after their second son
was born. “So there you have it,” I thought.
‘They really were both ‘ homosexual, not
bisexual.” A

I continued to read their letters, because bisexual
or not, they defied society by staying together
for 49 years and keeping their relationship on
their own terms. People argue that they were in
a marriage of convenience and protection, but
the letters proved that this was a couple who
loved one another. So what did that mean about
their sexual orientations? How could a man who
tells his wife, over and over for 49 years, that he
adores her and the sun revolves around her not
be bisexual? Should we call him “biamorous” to
_be more accurate? And what makes up a lesbian
life? Don’t we assert over and over to the
straight world that our sexual orientation has
just as much to do with how we form emotional
relationships as it does our sexual relationships?

I came to the conclusion that yes, Harold and
Vita had a marriage in the truest sense, just not
in the most traditional sense. I saw with my own
eyes the loving words that Harold wrote during

their engagement: “I love you so far more than -

ever before — the longing after you is like a.
stretched cord within me” (May ll, 1913). And
I saw Vita’s words: “I write this on the 44th
anniversary of that happy day (their marriage)
and love you more now than I did then (which is
saying a lot)...” (October 1, 1957).

Then and there, I decided that the most
important thing was not that Vita and Harold
belonged to the “bisexual camp” and there
alone. It was important that all of us who had
been told that everyone only likes the opposite
sex see these two people as icons. They were a
testament. Vita was a lesbian because she was a
woman who was passionate about women. But
she also had meaningful relationships with men,
and one long—standing marriage to her husband.

I find. myself explaining to friends that her
relationship with Harold was just as valid as her
many love affairs with women, including Violet
Trefusses and Virginia Woolf. If we could all be
careful not to let prejudices reverse until we are
just as bigoted toward the heterosexual world as
they have been toward us for centuries, we
might be on our way to freedom for people
everywhere. V

AIDS Walk

Continued from page 2

Brochures containing individual/family and team
registration/pledge forms are available at several
stores throughout Vermont or can be received by
calling Vermont CARES at (800) 649-AIDS. You
can also stop by one of the three CARES offices
(30 Elmwood Avenue in Burlington, 78 South
Main Street in Rutland, or 73 Main Street in
Montpelier) to say hello and pick up the materials.

Registration forms are due on September 16 and
are highly encouraged, though not mandatory for
participation.

Vermont CARES looks forward to meeting a
large number of allies as we all walk together to
create a community of support.

September 1996

  Lori E. D0\v<_’.
v ’ F L o w E R s

Dmprictor
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Flowers For all occasions.  welconic. your bll.SlllC.5.*‘~.

802-863-2300 9 Fax 8025658-2191
350 Dorset Street 0 South Burlington, Vermont 05403

WoMEN’£%TCHoiCE

GYNECOLOGIC ASSVOCIATES

23 Mansfield Avenue.

Burlington, Vermont 05401

802-863-9001
Fax:802-863-4951 L

Cheryl A. Gibson MD.
Susan F. Smith M.D.

Carol L. Thayer, M.D.
Family Physician

Community
0 Health Plan

Georgia Health Center
RR #2, Box 1160 - Fairfax, VT 05454
Tel: 802/524-9595 ‘mu
Fax: 802/524-2867

(518) 561-9071

     

I

LA|R’S/

LOUNGE

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30 Marion St.

Prop: Jill M. Cerone Plattsburgh, NY 12901

(802) 254 -8032

Michael Gigante, Ph.D.

Psychosynthesis
Counseling & Therapy

15 Myrtle St., Brattleboro, VT 05301

The AIDS Council of Northeastern New York Sponsors a
Safer Sex Cruise

Plattsburgh—The AIDS Council of Northeastern New York will be pro-
viding educational activities and offering risk reduction supplies during a

safer sex cruise on Lake Champlain on Sunday, September 15,_ 1996, for the
Gay Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community. The Cruise is spon-

sored by Blair’s Lounge. The boat leaves at 3PM from Juniper Boat Tours,

2 Dock Street, Plattsburgh, NY (next to the Plattsburgh Marina) and will re-
turn at 5PM. Tickets are $15 per person, which includes the cruise, en— _
tertainment, music, safer sex trivia games and prizes. Soda and snacks will

be served and a cash bar will be available. Contact Denise Burcume, at

(518) 563-2437 for more information or ticket locations. '

Burlington, Vermont 05402

BETH ROBINSON

LANGROCK SPERRY & WOOL

ATTORNEYS AT LAW
15 SOUTH PLEASANT STREET
MIDDLEBURY, VERMONT
05753

Burlington Office:
275 College Street Area Code; 802
Telephone: 388-6356 '

802-864-0217 FAX#: 388-6149

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