Rest Stop by Chris Tebbetts .Seven cars wait in the rest stop lot, five with Ver- mont plates, one New Hampshire and one Mas- sachusetts. Two have rainbow flag stickers on the bumpers; most have a lone male passenger in the driver’s seat. No one turns a head to take notice of my arrival. Rest stop sex is an invisible phenomenon to most of our society. Outreach at these so—called Public Sex Environments (PSEs) is part of my contract with the Department of Health, as one component of the Vermont CARES Men’s Health Project HIV prevention program for men who have sex with men ( MSM ). I’ve been doing it for a year now, and haven’t had any bad experiences or particular- ly nasty run—ins. And yet, I wonder if I ought to just cruise right through, in the entrance and out the other end. I recognize the timidity behind my urge to leave, so I park the car. The rest stop has a long narrow parking lot which runs along the bottom of a small hill. From where I sit, a blacktop path leads up to a small meadow. It doubles back on the hill to parallel the lot and then slopes down at the other end. Dense woods border one side of the scene, with highway on the other. I have done my homework and made enough of these outreach trips to know that I am in the “wait- ing area,” that the path and meadow are cruising spots, and that the woods are mostly reserved for playing. I always knew that men have sex with each other A at rest stops. The experience, however, has evaded" me. Now that I make part of my living at this, rest stop sex seems to be everywhere I look. Like 3-D movie images that require special glasses, the pat- terns of lone men in cars and bathrooms and picnic areas on the highway pop out at me with an obvi- ousness I can’t believe I missed before. For a moment, I take myself back two years and try to imagine telling my 1994 self that in 1996 I’ll be going to rest stops, handing out condoms, and talking to men about safer sex. And now, here I am, taking in the scene and going through a ritual of courage-gathering. ' My fanny pack is stuffed with condoms and in- dividual packets of lubricant, which I know are more in demand here than the pre—printed bro- chures I bring. Lubricant and condoms offer im- mediacy: here, take these, go have fun. A brochure can be cumbersome or didactic, or even in- criminating for the closeted or married man who brings it home. I get out of my car. Mr. Massachusetts has driven away, maybe just stopping here for some quick fun on the way to Montreal. Three of the original group have ambled up the hill. None of them talks to the other. They have all staked out their spots, and the woods are quiet. I suppose no one likes what he sees so far. Despite assumptions and stereotypes, a large number of the men who come here are out gay men, comfortable with their sexuality and turned on by anonymous, sometimes quick, sometimes nasty, and sometimes very ordinary sex. Others fit the stereotype: married men whose rings give them away; closeted men who feel relegated to these areas by fear, homo- phobia, or convenience; and truckers, whose appearances say anything but “queer.” I first approach the smoker, a fifty-ish man who looks like a professor with his trim white beard and glasses. He shows no sign of interest in me and I force back my temptation to keep walking. “Hi,” I say. “Would you like any condoms or lube today?” “No thank you,” he says, cold but polite, never tak- ing his eyes off the passing traffic. I’m accustomed to eye contact, maybe some con- versation, or even friendly disbelief at, my offers, so this non-reaction throws me a bit. I wonder if I’ve made a mistake, but then realize that my in- stincts as an outreach worker are just fine. This gentleman is not here for the view. I move on, my route clearly mapped out by the string of men along the path. My next contact is younger, preppy and good- looking in his denim jacket and new sneakers. He is standing by the edge of the path with his hands in his pockets, occasionally glancing left and right. There is a purposefulness to him, as if he’s under an imaginary lamp post, waiting for an imaginary taxi. He sees me coming and smiles non- committally. This time I try small talk: “It’s kind of busy here today,” I say. We both know what I mean. “Yeah,” he says, waiting for more, and I go on. “I work with Vermont CARES...in Burlington?” He nods. “One of the things we do is come out to the rest stops, talk to guys about safer sex, and give out condoms and lube. Would you like any?’f The young man is non—plussed and accepts three condoms and a lube packet. Encouraged, I ask if he has any questions about HIV or safer sex.‘He doesn’t, and I leave it at that. Anyone who has been watching can see by now that I’m not here for sex and that I present no threat. My other encounters run smoothly and fair- ly par for the course: two flat, unaggressive re- fusals and one long conversation with a recently divorced man who mostly just wants to know where else he can meet other guys. This is typical. I spend as much time at the rest stop talking about the constraints of small town life and trying to be gay in Vermont as I spend talking about HIV. The isolation of rural gay men, an issue we spend so much time talking about in staff meetings, comes alive here. A lot of my con- tacts seem happy just’ to talk with another gay man ‘ andrbe themselves, which is something I take for I granted in my own life. I end the encounter with more condoms and an of- . fer to add him to my newsletter mailing list, which he accepts. 1 It s now 6:45, and the sun is going down. As I drive away, I wonder for the millionth time if what I’m doing is making a difference. And is it enough for me, just having the possibility of success here, without ever knowing for sure? Yes, I tell myself. It is. V “Our Town Meeting” Plans Underway by Shelley Smith I The 4th annual “Our Town Meeting” (formerly ‘ " “Queer Town Meeting”), complete with fashion, politics, , present: “Politics as (Un)Usual” in Brattleboro, with date and times to be announced. We are planning our usual array of workshops as well as events for the night before the meeting so that everyone can join the adventure in Brattleboro. The conference committee is chaired by Carey Johnson (258.2826). Gabriel Q (257.4871) is definitely in charge of aesthetics. Paij Wadley-Bailey (454.1135) is seeking teachers and parents interested in coordinating Children's Programming (ages 1 1/2 to 14). Judith Beckett (439.6453) will be calling for volunteers, or please call her if you'd like to help out. Shelley V. Smith (454.1347) is organizing workshops, so do call if you'd like to facilitate. Please contact any of us with your ideas, requests, or availability to help out. 7 or Men over forty?.~~ or both??? 2nd. Friday of Each Month in three different summers settings For information and/or location Call Larry 862-0142 ¢f///(/e%;am,/ June. 1996 WQMENSTCHOICE GYNECOLOGIC ASSOCIATES 23 Mansfield Avenue, Burlington, Vermont 05401 802-863-9001 Fax: 802-863-4951 Cheryl A. Gibson M.D. Susan F. Smith M.D. Allyn McDonal Innkeeper 5 16 Orchard Terrace Burlington. VT 05401 (802) 863-0379 Pen 8. lnk Drawings Photography Carol L. Thayer, M.D. Family Physician - Community 0 Health Plan Georgia Health Center ’ . RR #2, Box 1160 - Fairfax, VT 05454 Tel: 302/524-9595 .9. Fax: 802/524-2867 UVM Study on Youth Sexuality We want to understand more about the needs and issues for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and questioning young people, and you can help, no matter what your sexuality. We will pay you for your time. Ifyou are between 18 and 24 years old and are interested in , participating,call,860—8354.. ' Strict-confidentiality is. assured. 1-.» . 5, , ». . ,_- raffles, workshops and art shows will .. (802) 254 -8032 MICHAEL GIGANTE, PH.D. Psychosynthesis Counseling & Therapy 15 Myrtle St., Brattleboro, VT 05301 BETH ROBINSON FLANGROCK SPERRY & WOOL ATTORNEYS AT LAW 2 15 SOUTH PLEASANT STREET MIDDLEBURY, VERMONT g 05753 = Burlington Office: 275 Col:-3-92* Street Burlington, Vermont 05402 802-864-0217 Area Code: 802 Telephone: 388-635’: FAX#: 388-6149 100 Acres 0 Pool Hot Tub 0 Trails ‘$6 ‘Hi Iand,.5 ‘Inn ‘ P.O. Box 118 ’ Bethlehem, NH 03574 (603) 8696978 A LESBIAN PARADISE 20 Charming Rooms Peace & Privacy