TE YOU-R Lam PEARL ’ V a” Dear Auntie Pearl: Not a very meny Christmas for me. My lover of seven years left me in July, my lonely Christmas was the pits. Where does a lonely lesbian of 49 years go to meet someone her own age? Copyright 1 996 The bars are full, but full of young people. Church is full, but full of couples. What is one to do? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. . Please reply. Any help is welcome. What do you think of a newspaper ad? Thanks. Lonely Leebiari Dear Lonely Lesbian: For Auntie’s sake, don’t stop going to church! No matter what your age, if you’re in the market for a girlfriend, this is no time to stop praying. By all means take out an ad. Why not? There are more gals in your situation than you can imagine. And what ever happened to good old political work? Offer your time to a queer youth organization, a women’s breast cancer education project, an AIDS organization, etc. Don’t just go to community events — get on the planning committees. Community involvement reaps many rewards — including romantic interest. Kudos on your search for a horse to get back on. Take it slowly. Get reacquainted with yourself. Have a great time. . ***** Dear Auntie Pearl: I am writing in comment to your column in which the so—called “All American Guy” came down on the “Altemative” type gay male. I just had to write because this guy really pissed me off with his comments toward people who tend to look different, especially the quote: “As if anybody wants to sleep with guys who try to look as weird and out of shape as possible”! I am satisfied that you told him to look around to 9 see the diversity in the gay community, but I just wanted to say “Grow up Dude!” It is individuals such as yourself who seem to be obviously uncomfortable with different kinds of people, and are only willing to stick to your “own kind” involving friendships or even romantic relationships. This is one problem I find with his type: if you don’t have a body, aren’t clean cut, . and so on, don’t bother. In any other major city, how people appreciate individuality is greatly refreshing. I’ve lived in Pittsburgh all of my life, but have traveled and seen a lot of things I would only wish that “Mr. All-American” would open his eyes further (such as with toothpicks, perhaps?) and realize that there is room for everyone, and no one should make any judgments just because of an appearance one holds. Thank you for your time Auntie Pearl. Wake Up and Smell Youree/fl! ***** Dear Auntie Pearl: My lover, Steve, and I are the proud parents of a terrific 5-year-old daughter, Katie. Katie is Steve’s daughter from his first marriage, which ended when Katie’s mother died. We’ve been a family for a year now. The laws in our state don’t allow me to be Katie’s legal guardian, but I hear that a power of attorney might give me some rights. We’d rather not go to the expense and explanations necessary with a lawyer, so I hope this is something that our Auntie Pearl can address. Love your colunm!’ I Roger, Steve and Katie Dear Roger: Steve grants you a conventional power of attorney, you’ll be able to make financial decisions in his absence. All states recognize this. But this power will end if Steve becomes incapacitated,‘ This was the case with Sharon Kowalski and Karen’ Thompson. . You and Steve will want a durable power of attomey, which will enable you to make some decisions for him and Katie even if Steve is seriously ill. Unfortunately, some states don’t recognize these agreements. But do it anyway, because it demonstrates your intent. You can get forms from a stationery store for a conventional power of attorney, but Auntie is going to send you to that dreaded lawyer for a durable p.o.a., as state codes vary. You may want to draw up separate powers of attorney for specific decisions (medical, educational, financial, etc.). Such separate documents may further demonstrate your intentions. Auntie would like to see all her nieces and nephews take this step, whether or not they have children. Good luck! V Vermont Gay Social Alternatives Founded 1990 For membership information write: VGSA, P.O. Box 237 - Burlington, VT 05402-0237 or call Cliff 985-4937, Bob 865-3734 February 1996 Weekly Events ADIRONDACK COMMUNITY COLLEGE GAY & LESBIAN ASSOCIATION — Wednesdays, 6:30pm, Mountaineer Room. BRATTLEBORO AREA AIDS PROJECT — For PLWAs and partners. Wednesdays, 12:30-1:30pm. Call (802) 254-8263. CASTLETON STATE COLLEGE GLB GROUP — One In Ten. Call (802) 468-5611 ext. 392. CHAMPLAIN COLLEGE GLB SUPPORT GROUP — Mondays, 4-5pm, Student Resource Center, Hauke Family Campus Center. Call (802) 658-0800 ext. 2605. CONCORD (NH) GAY/LESBIAN AA —— Wednesdays, 7:30pm, First Congregational Church, North Main & Washington Streets. GAY/LESBIAN AA —— Sundays, 6:30pm, Christ Church Presbyterian Redstone Campus, Burlington; Thursdays. 7pm, St. Paul's Cathedral, Cherry St., Burlington. Call (802) 658-4221. GAY MEN'S SUPPORT GROUP — Tuesdays, 7pm, Unitarian Universalist Church, 69 Washington St., Keene, NH. Call (6()3) 358-3480. - GODDARD COLLEGE GLB ALLIANCE —— Sundays, 7pm; weekly film series following at 8pm. Call (802) 454-8311 ext. 225. HUNTINGTON OPEN WOMEN'S LAND (HOWL) —- Sundays, llam-2pm, a potluck brunch. Call (802) 864-5595. MANCHESTER (NH) GAY/LESBIAN AA — Sundays, 7:30-9pm, Unitarian Universalist Church, 669 Union St., Manchester, NH 03103. MCC IN THE MOUNTAINS — Worship services Sundays, lpm, Christ Church, Dartmouth College Chapel, Level 3. Call (802) 298-5451. . MIDDLEBURY G/L/B ALLIANCE — Sundays, 8pm, May Belle Chellis House, Hillcrest St., Middlebury College. Call (802) 388-3711 ext. 3502. MYRIAD NETWORK - For g/l/b/t's in the Berkshires. Fridays, 7pm, First Congregational Church, Williamstown, MA. Write PO Box 288, Williamstown, MA 01267. NASHUA (NH) GAY/LESBIAN AA — Mondays, 7:30pm, Nashua Unitarian Church. NETWORK NORTH — Cheap Movie Nights Tuesdays, 6:15pm, Wilton Mall Food Court, Wilton, NY. Coffee Nights Wednesdays, 6:30pm, Uncommon Grounds, Saratoga Springs, NY. Coffee Mornings Thursdays, 9:30am, Uncommon Grounds, Saratoga Springs, NY. OUTRIGHT VERMONT — Fridays, 7-9pm, Burlington. GLB youth (under 23) welcome! Call (802) 865-9677. SOCIAL ALTERNATIVES FOR MEN (SAM) — Tuesdays, 7:30pm. Meeting and social at the Hotel Coolidge in White River Junction at 9pm. Call (603) 543-4136. PINK TRIANGLE GROUP, GAY/LESBIAN AA — Saturdays, 7-8:30pm, Keene, NH. Call (603) 357-4300. SUPPORT GROUP FOR HIV+/AIDS WOMEN — Mondays, 3:30-5:30pm, Greenfield, MA. Call (413) 773-8888. UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT GAY LESBIAN BISEXUAL ALLIANCE — Thursdays, 7pm, B106 Billings. Call (802) 863-7164. VERMONT CARES - Support group for gay/bisexual men living with HIV/AIDS Mondays, 5:30-7pm. Call (802)863-2437. Support group for heterosexual men and women living with HIV/AIDS Thursdays, 1-2:30pm. Call (802) 863-2437. Support group for family and friends of people living with HIV/AIDS Thursdays, 5-6:30pm. Call (802) 863-8162. WOMEN-ONLY PICK-UP VOLLEYBALL Every Thurs. 5—6:45 pm, Mater Christi School, 100 Mansfield Ave., Burlington, Small Rental Fee. For more info, call Sue- 899-5049. YOUNG MEN'S GROUP —-— Issues unique to gay/bisexual men (under 22). Thursdays, 7-8:30pm. Call (802) 865-9677. V I Quite Simply.. . The finest collection of- Furniture, Carpeting 8: Accessories in Vermont Rutland House Ltd. 162 south main street rutland, vermont 05701 (802)775-2911 rts. 11/30 - tn the heart of manchester center, vermont (802)362-2001 from all over vermont: (800)849-2911