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Dear Auntie Pearl: My best friend just got
involved with a woman from hell, “Sybil”. My
friend usually finds great women, but this one is
whacked. All I can think is that Sybil must be
great in bed, because she’s too weird out in the
world.

  

 

Copyright 1995

When she’s not carrying on about her latest
therapy session, she’s telling people what to do.
The first time my friend brought her over to
meet me and my lover, Sybil told us that we
need a better lock on our front door. Then the
next time she and my friend came over for
dinner, Sybil brought a new lock and her drill. I
had to take her drill from her to stop her from
destroying our door!

She also told us that we need to be more strict
with our dog. She gave us a muzzle for
Christmas. I’d like to use the muzzle, but not for
the dog. I’ll spare you the rest, but this is typical
of what she does. I get a headache just thinking
about her.

I’ve held back from telling Sybil off, but I don’t
know how long I can keep this up. Should I go
ahead and tell her where to get off, or should I
keep being nice to her for my friend’s sake? If
we were straight, I wouldn’t be expected to hang
out with my friends’ husbands. But with dykes,
we’re supposed to be a big happy family. What
should I do?

Can't Take It Anymore, Midwest

Dear Can't Take It: If this codependent Cruella
DaVille crosses you again, consider it between

the two of you. Be polite, but stand up for
yourself. Auntie doesn't care if she’s boffing
your best buddy or not. If your pal sees that
Sybil is wreaking havoc on your nerves, so be it.
Maybe it’ll wake your friend up to the fact that
her romantic standards have taken a nose dive.
And who knows; your honesty might make Sybil
behave, and you could end up getting along. It
can’t be any less likely than your friend falling
for Sybil in the first place.

*=l<>I<*>l<

Dear Auntie Pearl: I have a terrible secret, and I
don’t know what to do. Please don’t include my
name or address.

When I met my boyfriend five months ago, I
didn’t tell him I was HIV positive. We do safe
sex, and he gets tested twice a year. He just
tested negative this week. I didn’t think he and I
would get serious, but now we are. He’s talking
about a future together, and I don’t know if I’m
going to be around for it.

I love him, and I don’t want to break his heart. I
know I have to tell him, but my question is how.
Please, I need your understanding and your
advice. My friends think I already told him, and
theythink that I just don’t want them to talk to
him about it. He is only the second man I ever
slept with. I’m 19. Please tell me the way to tell
him. Please answer soon. Thank you.

A Reader

Dear Reader: You’ve taken an important first
step by putting the truth down on paper.

There’s no right or wrong way to break this to
your lover. There’s no guarantee that any amount
of preparation will bring about the results you
desire, so don’t fret about your delivery. Give
him your information, and then let him have his
response. His feelings will be the focus. This
must be his moment.

You don’t have to be alone. Confide in your
friends. Call an AIDS organization and ask to
speak to a counselor before and after you infonn
your lover.

You may want to have a third party or another
couple present when you tell him. Auntie wants
you to do this as soon as possible, for your sake.
Your peace with yourself is important. Good
luck, dear. You’re doing the right thing. You will
be in Auntie’s prayers. V

September 1995

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hair. The theory is that just as sperm penetrates an egg,
Kevis shampoo penetrates the hair cuticle and forms a
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No word on whether the shampoo comes with condoms
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For your free sample, call (800)OK-KEVIS. (Update)

ALA group announces 1995
book awards

CHICAGO -- The American Library Association's Gay,
Lesbian and Bisexual Book Awards Committee has
announced the winners of its 1995 book awards. The top
winners were: Am I Blue?: Coming Out from the
Silence by Marion Dane Bauer; Skin: Talking About
Sex, Class and Literature by Dorothy Allison;
Uncommon Heroes: A Celebration of Heroes and
Role Models for Gay and Lesbian Americans by Phillip
Sherman and Samuel Bernstein. (News-Telegraph)

Read OITM Monthly

&

sa turda y:

Lambda Literary
Award winners

WASHINGTON, DC -- Inclusiveness is the theme of
this year's Lambda Literary Award winners. Many of

the books selected this year defy a breakdown into either.

gay male or lesbian, or, for that matter, into simple
dichotornies of gay and straight. The 7th Annual
Lambda Literary Awards recipients include: The
Folding Star by Alan Hollinghurst; Gifts of the Body
by Rebecca Brown; Skin by Dorothy Allison; Gay New
York by George Chauncey; My Own Country by
Abraham Verghese; Gertrude Stein in Words and
Pictures by Renate Stendahl; Winter Numbers by
Marilyn Hacker; Collected Poems by Thom Gunn;
Small Sacrifice by Ellen Hart; Midnight in the Garden
of Good and Evil by John Berendt; Sister and Brother
edited by Joan Nestle and John Preston; Chloe Plus
Olivia edited by Lillian Faderrnan; Trouble and Her
Friends by Melissa Scott; The Dyke and the Dybbuk
by Ellen Galford; Angels in America, Part 2:
Perestroika by Tony Kushner; Family by Nancy
Andrews; Am I Blue? edited by Marion Dane Bauer;
Her Tongue on My Theory by. Kiss & Tell; and
Memoir of a Race Traitor by Mab Segrest. (Press
Release) V

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