THURSDAY MAY 4th 5:00 PM to 11:00 PM ***************** EVERYTHING IS ON SALE 2 HOURLY DRAWINGS FOR FREE MERCHANDISE ill *‘k*'k‘k'k‘k*******k*** C '9-"‘QLr;.a.-.. tiscyrzsrzs: its.’ the entire .’an:sly ‘:00 Marti s:r=.>;=a. t1L=s:iri§it3s‘1 863-3822 LOOKING BOTH WAYS: Are Bananas Just For Cereal? Mike Rothbart CUTTINGSVILLE -- I will write this column without talking about sex. My friend Dave read my column from last month. I insisted. He coughed quietly as his eyes scanned the lines. "So what do you think?" I prodded as he looked up. "Well, I guess I'm not used to—— you see," he hemmed and hawed. "I was surprised how sexual it was." I frowned. "And I thought it seemed written from the perspective of a girl." I took great offense at Dave's first comment, and secret pleasure at the second. After all, I wrote the whole column without saying orgasm or mas- turbation; the closest I came to speaking of penises was an offhand comment about bananas. Regardless, I set off Dave's censorial red alert. Dave and I, we come from very different backgrounds. I'm an over—labe1ed liberal leftist bisexuallewish Quaker Buddhist indecisive activist environmentalist teacher writer shoesalesman. Dave is a married Catholic man. Needless to say, we have some dif- ferences of opinion, some differing expectations of what is normal. To me it doesn't seem shocking to describe an orgasm or erotically chew bananas or stroll around the house buck naked or attend a sex party. Non—monogamy appeals to me, at least in theory. Condoms are a fact of life. To Dave, bananas are for cereal, orgasms are unmentionable and nud- ity is limited to the bathtub. In his behalf, I must say, Dave remains open—minded and has changed dramatically since he and his wife Su- sie left their childhood catholic enclave in Maryland. Despite the fact that they did not know anyone queer before moving into our house, they have accepted me with open arms (not to mention an open re- frigerator). Their tolerance is admirable. Indeed, were they unwilling to accept differences, we would not have become such friends. I only wish I could be so tolerant of those who disagree with me. Dave and I fill each other in on our dissimilar worlds. Although we both grew up in the same nation in the same decade, our only com- mon culture is Sesame Street. ‘ I expand Dave's mind about what one can say in a public forum with- out going to confession. Dave reminds me of what the majority of America considers normal and acceptable. Dave's discomfort with my ebullient sexuality makes me realize that my very existence is shocking to a fair portion of the population. offering practical steps for citizens and local groups concerned about the radical .,._ < H rights attempts to " impose their ' narrow agenda. Call Today! 1-800-488-9638 for more information and to register. Pro viding Professional Sexuality Education & Training Challenging the RARIIGAL rnulrimedia presentation Tuesday, May 23 Brattleboro, Vermont Wednesday, May 24 Portland, Maine Fee: 5575 Planned Parenthoods for over 70 years of Northern New Englancl Together, Dave and I are bridge builders. We don't think of each other that way; we're just housemates. Yet it is important work befriending people of all backgrounds. Especially since it's so comfortable to spend time only with people like me. It's easy to fall into a de facto sep- aratist life. My bi friends Steve and Shadrika told me they've only had one non—queer in their house in the past year: their in- fant son. He's still in the closet. (Even their cat is queer.) I've learned from my feminist and lesbian friends that it's im- portant to spend time with peo- ple with whom you identify. (I tried to be a bisexual separatist, but I couldn't figure out who to spend time with.) I've learned from my Buddhist mother that it's important to spend quiet time alone. (I would join a mon- astery, but I couldn't stand the celibacy or the freedom from gossip that constant silence pro- vides.) I've come to see that it is equally necessary to pass time with those with whom I have lit- tle in common. There are genuine cultural bar- riers between me and Dave, some of them as tough to pen- etrate as a latex condom. To re- turn to Dave's original objec- tion: he believes that sex belongs in the bedroom. I bring it out into the living room. See, I'm obsessed with sex. Not just the act, although that enters my mind quite often enough, thank you. No, I'm speaking of issues of sexuality: queerness, bisexuality, gender-bending, flirtation, lust, safe sex, sexual assault, Freudian slips, feminist criticism, liposuction, yo—yos, origami. Actually, I seldom think about liposuction. I wonder if our queer identities, our humor, must be necessarily sexual in nature. Does our pro- cess of coming out mean that we have sex on the brain for- everrnore? Is it that the key to our identity is rooted in our sex- uality? If so, Dave had better keep practicing his tolerance. Mike Rothbart lives outside Rut- land, where he works 24 hours a day. In his spare ‘time he jug- gles his personalities. He gets ofl his soapbox at bedtime. V Northeast Pride Coordinators Convene Peter Thomas HARTFORD, CT -- On March 3, 4, and 5 the Northeast Regional Pride Coordinators (NERP) Convention took place at Hartford, Connecticut's new Gay/Lesbian Community Center. About 50 pride committee members from Philadelphia, New Jersey, New York City, Queens, Albany, Hartford, Boston, New Hampshire and Vermont were in attendance. Over the course of the weekend, workshops on topics of interest to pride day planners such as fund raising, publicity, direct activism and stress management were offered as well as meeting times for the entire group for networking and discussion. Even though Vermont's pride event is the smallest in comparison to the events of the other pride coordinators in attendance, Burlington was one of the six northeastern cities proposed for consideration as the NERP recommendation for the location of the 1997 International Association of Gay/Lesbian Pride Coordinators (IAL/GPC) meeting. IAL/GPC meetings attract 200-300 pride coordinators for the purpose of workshops and the selection of an international Pride Day theme. The following is a listing of some of the upcoming Northeastern Pride Marches: -May 7 - Philadelphia - June 3 — Vermont (Burlington) (802)865-0440 - June 4 — New Jersey (Asbury Park) (908)2l-GAYNJ - June 4 — Queens (Jackson Heights) (718)997-6778 0 June 10 - Boston (617)424-8442 Baltimore (Towson State University) Long Island (Huntington) New Hampshire (Concord) (603)382-9308 Connecticut (Hartford) (203)724-5542 New York City (212)80—PRIDE V -June11— -June11— - June 16 - -June17 — 0 June 25 — <:: ‘C 73 /\ E T I5 CIIIIIQSI. NDIIHGIOH. VI O540l Robin Hopps Kara Marahella 60.’)-244i (802) 863-0413 Walter I. Zeichner, MA, NCC, Licen..red Clinical Mental Health Counselor Psychotherapy ~ Individual ~ Group ~ Couples Bod yWork~ Massage Therapy ~ EnergyWork Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Positive ~ Gender Issues Educational Consulting ~ Workshops & Trainings Wellness Consultation 269 Pearl St., Burlington, VT 05401