The crazy thing is that sex is notall there is
to it for homosexuals or heterosexuals.
What becomes sexualized for all of us is
the ideal with which we identify ourselves.
What is powerful and strong and positive
and appealing is naturally also sexy. As
gay people, we hope that at least some of
the people we admire would turn out to be
gay, because every one of us grew up, and
continues to live, without heroes and her-
oines we can identify with, except for the
ones we co-opt or imagine. Gays and les-
bians do without such inspiration or pleas-
ant diversion, or make do with constant ad-
justments. We can not help but long for our
own heroes, idols and role models. A
mother who spoke to me recently about her
fears that her son might be gay asked me
the question, “are you happy?” After I had
answered, “yes,” she cried with relief as
she said, “I just want to know my son can
be gay and still have a good life.” That is
the power of role models.

In my work with glb adolescents, I am
acutely aware of how we all grow up leam-
ing that everyone who has ever done any-
thing worthwhile is, or is assumed to be,
heterosexual. We also leam a host of
damning myths about the perversity and
dangerousness of homosexuality. Small
wonder that gay youth are 2-6 times more
likely to commit suicide than heterosexual
youths. As they look into the void of adult-
hood, with the specter of losing everything

looming over them, all they are left with are
the seamy dark images of society’s hate and
fear.

For the lesbian women I have shared this
season with, and for myself, the strong,
able, self-assured women on the court have
in part provided the positive role models we
all long for. They embody our alternative
ideals about the attractiveness of women,
based on strength and se1f~possession. They
are the heroes that none of us ever tire of
cheering on. They embody our alternative
ideals about the attractiveness of women,
based on strength and self-possession, in-
stead of distorted body ideals. In my life as
I watched sisters and classmates and friends
reduce themselves to some shadow of what
they could be so that they could be less
threatening to a man, it chilled me to my
core. For all of us who have watched in an-
guish while women around us debased
themselves to men for the sake of main-
taining the tenuous status quo of 20th cen-
tury heterosexuality, watching the UVM
Cats be themselves and compete with all
their hearts, without apologies for un-
ladylike behavior or aggressiveness, was
exhilarating and confirming. Here are wom-
en whose sense of purpose and personal
power I can identify with, respect and ad-
mire. Whether lesbian or straight, they ex-
emplify the value I place on striving for ex-
cellence and expressing myself as honestly
and sincerely as I can.

May 1992

I don’t need for these women to be lesbian
in order to feel inspired by them, but the
need for gay and lesbian role models in our
community is very real. As I work, month
after month to make life easier and more
promising for glb youth, I realize I face the
difficult task of changing people’s per-
ceptions about homosexuality. I can’t help
but lapse into dreaming sometimes. What if
some well-loved heroes were to publicly
acknowledge their homosexuality? Would
all that public adoration turn to hate, or
would a whole group of people begin to
question their previously rigid and hateful
attitudes and beliefs? The process has be-
gun with some already beleaguered heroes
like Martina Navritilova. How long will it
take before it is not one or two, but so
many that a mother would not even think to
cry for her son or daughter because she
would have no question about the endless
possibilities for happiness and accomplish-
ment that gay people share with everyone
else. The UVM Cats and other unknowing
heroes of the gay and lesbian community
often misunderstand our adoration and
sometimes express resentment, about it.
What they fail to recognize is how deep it
nms in the human psyche to long for an
ideal to look up to, someone who shines
just a little brighter than everyone else,
someone who exemplifies the best that peo-
ple “like me” can be. V

Dot Brauer is Program Director

they have been taught to dream about at Outright Vermont

Where to Fund OITM

Bennjngton Free Library Bennjngton Project EXCEL, Lyndon State College Lyndonville
Brattleboro Food Coop Brattleboro Northshire Bookstore Manchester Center
Cahoots Bratfleboro _ Middlebury Natural Food Coop Mrddlebury
Common Groimd Brattleboro Bear Pond Books Montpelier
Ever-yone's Books Brattleboro Horn of the Moon Cafe Montpelier
Burlington College Burlington Woman Centered Montpelier
Chassman & Bern Burlington Morristown Centennial Library Morrrsvrlle
Fletcher Free Library Burlington Moore Free Library _ _ Newfane

Partners in Recovery & Growth Burlington Northeast Kingdom AIDS Coalition Newport

Peace & Justice Center Burlington Brown Public Library N0rth_fie1d

Pearls Burlington Social Alternatives for Gay Men Norwich

Planned Parenthood Burlington Woman's Study Pro gram Plamfield

STEP Learning Center Castleton Putney Library _ Pumey

Craftsbury Public Library Craftsbury Kimball Pubhc Library Randolph

Rutland Area Gay/Lesbian Connection Center Rutland PFLAG _ Rutland

Innwood Manor East Barnet Rutland Free Lrbrall’ Rutland
Greenhope Farm East Hardwick LUNA/NEV_GALR c/o Umbrella St. Iohnsbury

Fair Haven Free Library Fair Haven Natural Provisions L St. Johnsbury
Buffalo Mountain Coop Hardwick Regional Library 51- J0hI1Sbm'Y
Galaxy Books Hardwick St. Johnsbury Athenaeum SL Iohnsbm'y
Jon's Automotive Lyndonville Food for Thought St0V_Ve ‘ .

WRJ Books Wlute River Junction