Out in the Mountains

Episcopal Diocese Of Vermont Sponsors Conference

by Pat Noll

“The Word Becomes Flesh: Homo-
sexuality and the Christian Journey,” a
conference sponsored by the Episcopal
Diocese of Vermont on March 28th,
gathered over 160 people to explore the
issues but especially to listen to the sto-

 

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ries of individuals whose lives embody
the subject. The Conference guests, from
the Diocese of Newark were Rev. John
and Marilyn Croneberger, parents of a
gay son, Rev. Barry Stopfel, Associate
Rector of the church where John is Rec-
tor, an Episcopal Priest as an openly gay
man and his partner Rev. Will Lechie, a
United Church of Christ minister and
Hospice Chaplain.

Conference participants met in small
groups throughout the day using a tech-
nique called “sacred listening” in which
each person speaks only for her/himself,
sharing from personal experiences and at-
tending prayerfully to what is being
spoken. The purpose was not to argue or
debate sides of an issue but to share and
hear people’s life experience and learn
from it. Each of approximately 20 small
groups had a “resource person” (in addi-
tion to a facilitator) who was gay or les-
bian or the parent of a gay or lesbian.
This design provided everyone with an
opportunity to hear first-hand experience
as many had never previously done. It
also created a safety and openness which
invited each participant to share their
own questions and concerns. An initial
discussion question: “When did you first
recognize yourself to be a hetero- or
homo-sexual person? Did you choose?
Could you have willed to be other?”
opened the door to hearing our differ-
ences, our similarities and our common
experience as human beings for whom
sexuality is only one of love’s expres-
sions. Several gay and lesbian people felt
able to reveal themselves to their groups
and in turn experienced others receiving
them with understanding and new ap-
preciation of their pain. Others in lis-
tening remembered and shared ex-
periences in their pasts of feelings toward
people of the same sex or of relatives
who are gay or lesbian. Parents dis-
covered other parents, priests heard each

others lives from a new perspective, la- I
bels and assumptions of lesbian and gay
dissolved as unique individuals revealed 1
themselves, a church community became
a welcoming place for people who had (
left years ago or felt ostracized and ex- 1
cluded. 1
Hard but necessary questions were asked 5
— Would you bless the relationships of ’
same-sex couples? How can we disagree C
on aspects of the issue and remain open I
to hearing and caring for one another? I
Will we intervene when violence and 7
abuse, even in subtle forms, are taking }
place around us? Is there space for every- ,
one’s story?

Some voices were raised in opposition to
the “one-sided” stance of the conference
and in an attempt to identify homo-
sexuality as sinful and/or sickness. This
perspective was heard but could not
overshadow a gathering committed to
recognizing and understanding homo-
sexuality as one expression of human re-
lationships.

%..u\-..\-a ._w

The small groups were interspersed be-
tween presentations by the invited
guests. Jack and Mary Cronebergei
shared their process of discovering they
had a gay son when he attempted to com-
mit suicide and their journey from confu-
sion and pain to understanding and sup-
port. Barry and Will spoke of their
individual paths from traditional rigid re-
ligious backgrounds through self-

celebration.

As the conference concluded the title of
the day appeared to have come to life in
the interactions between participants —
not one word but many had become
flesh: listening, openness, pain, under-
standing, grief, difference, respect ~
and love. V

 

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discovery to a place of integration and ‘
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