Out in the Mountains
Elementary Education

Continued from page 17
him knew he was gay, but hired him any-

way. There is a tacit understanding between,

him and the rest of the staff. Ben doesn’t
actually tell people he’s gay. He just makes
sure they know. Shortly after a new prin-
cipal arrived at the school, he invited her
over to his house for dimer. She toured the
house with its one bedroom and met Scott.
Now she routinely asks how Scott is. When
a new teacher who didn’t lcnow the rules
made a mistake once and referred to Ben’s
gayness too openly, the other teachers be-
came uncomfortable. It violated the un-
spoken rule that keeps the situation safe.
“'I‘hat’s not what we do around here. It was
one level too personal.”

Ben feels that the rest of the staff protects
him. The teachers make up the new classes.
If they know they have a real “bom-again”
in their classroom, Ben won’t get that child
the next year. In those instances he knows
he’s been handled, but he thinks he’s been
protected by other staff members in other
ways he doesn’t recognize.

Ben doesn’t take on a public role as a gay
man either. Although he feels restricted by
this and would like to test these limits some
day, he thinks that being more public now
would violate the rules that everybody
seems to have agreed upon, and could lead
to trouble.

As long as people aren't forced to confront
the fact that he is gay, Ben thinks the cur-
rent arrangement could continue in-
definitely. “They've (the Board of Educa-
tion) never had to deal with it directly. I’m
sure most people know, but it’s never been
made an issue. People have not had to take
sides, have an opinion. If it were public; an
open secret, rather than a secret that every-
body knows, I’m sure there would be reper-
cussions.”

Within the restrictions imposed by this tacit
agreement, Ben has a remarkable amount
of freedom. He has been active in the teach-
ers’ union and helped to negotiate the cur-

rent contract, which prohibits dis-
crimination on the basis of sexual orienta-
tion. Because of this, he is not afraid of be-
ing fired for being gay, although he thinks
that people could still make life quite un-
pleasant for him if they chose to. With the
passage of years, though, he doesn’t think
this is likely. If it were going to happen, it
would have happened a long time ago.

Ben has lived in the town and taught at the
school for so long that he’s no longer exot-
ic. He meets his neighbors and other
townspeople at the grocery store or gas sta-
tion, at town meeting or Little League
games. He has attended many school
board and PTO meetings over the years,
and he knows the parents. “Because it’s a
small town, there are families where I’m
on their second or third kid.” He has never
had a problem with a parent that couldn’t
be fixed. Living in Vermont helps. ‘‘I think
New England is a tolerant place. I can’t
imagine being an open gay teacher in the
South. 1 think as far as rural living goes,
it’s a very easy place to be gay, to be open.
They (Vermonters) may talk behind your
back, but they’re not planting crosses on
your lawn or trying to run you out of
town.”

It’s very important to Ben to be open. “We
(he and Scott) made the decision a long
time ago that we’re not going to hide. If
the school really hates you that much, then
who needs that job?...When you have a se-
cret like that, where you’re in fear for your
job, that gives people great leverage over
you, and that’s the kind of leverage I don’t
want people to have over me...I think if
you’re closeted that’s when you get the
hostility, because kids know they can get
you on the run.”

Being open gives Ben a powerful op-
portunity to educate. He will not tolerate
the use of the word “ fag” in his class. “It
usually takes only one kid in the noorn
once to use the word “fag” and nobody
uses it for the rest of the year. I just make it
clear. I say, ‘that is a word that is not ac-
ceptable to use in this class. I don’t expect
you to use ’fag.’ I don’t expect you to use

‘nigger.’ I don’t expect you to use ‘ldke.’]
just go through the list. I tell them tires;
are labels that are used to put people down
and tlrey’re not being used in this class. It
somebody slips and says it, I get this, ‘Oh
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it."’ A

1
Ben also feels that he represents gay pen!
ple to the mainstream world. “Not only are I
you doing this (being visible) for yourselt 1
but also for your people. You're doinga 1
good job, in a fairly public role...I haveif
sense that I’m a representative of my peo
ple, and I hope I can do right to changrl
some thinking and can open some doon,
for people.”

Ben really enjoys his work. “It’s a wonder ‘
ful way to make a living. You get to spend If

your time with kids. You get to form re
lationships with people. I do miss not hav-
ing more contact with adults, but from the
people I’ve talked to who work in offices
or work in factories or whatever, I’d much
rather spend my time with 11 year olds.”

Martin, Kate and Ben have all reached an
equilibrium with their situation, which
they don’t expect to change, unless some
outside force or event moves in to change
it for them. Although Martin and Kate in
particular feel that such an event would of
necessity be some sort of calamity, it could
conceivably be a positive change; for ex-
ample, passage of the gay rights bill. If the
bill were to pass, Kate might feel free to
take some steps toward coming out, and
Ben would be more likely to step forward
publicly as a gay teacher.

The point of these stories is not to suggest
that all gay and lesbian teachers should be
like Ben. Homophobia is real, and every-
one’s situation is different. Ben himself is
not completely out, and he recognizes that
living in a tolerant community has helped
him to be as open as he is. Still, Ben, with
his freedom and confidence, illustrates
what living in a more tolerant world would
be like and shows that it’s possible even in
the repressive world of the public ele-
mentary school. V

    

   

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