Thompson appealed this decision and
found herself back in court last November
5. She feels that this last hearing was as
positive as it could be. The three judges
who heard the case seemed fair and ap-
peared to understand the issues. Their de-
cision is expected in February 1992.
Thompson's attorney and the Minnesota
Civil Liberties Union are optimistic about
the outcome. Thompson would like to be
optimistic, but finds it “very scary to be-
lieve anything any more.” If the decision
goes against her, she will appeal it.

Thompson has incurred more than
$200,000 in legal fees since 1983. She is
currently $15,000 in debt after finally get-
ting out of debt this past summer. Once
again she is doing more speaking and
spending less time with Sharon than she
would like in order to raise money for her
legal fees. Assessing the current situation,
she says, “I know that I'm more tired than
I've ever been in my entire life. I know
that I've come close to getting back to the
feeling of helplessness and hopelessness
that I felt early on in this case. I never
thought they could get me back there
again. I sat in that courtroom last De-
cember, and as I watched what was going
on, with everything kind of moving in
slow motion, I felt like a battered woman.
I felt like every time you get up, they just
beat you. You get up again and they beat
you again. You get up again and they beat
you again...And I broke down and I
sobbed in that courtroom. And I didn't
think that I'd ever get up again.”

Karen Thompson did get up, and those
who listened to her in Montpelier have no
doubt that she will continue to get up
again until she has won her case and can
finally bring Sharon Kowalski home.

She says, though, that she and Sharon
would not have had to go through any of
this if they had taken several simple steps
to protect their relationship. The first and
most important step is to come out. “We
must let the people we love know who we
are, who's important to us, what we would
want if something like this were to hap-
pen, who we would want making de-

cisions for us. We must get our heads out
of the sand and quit pretending that situa-
tions like this can't happen to us. Because
they can. In one split second our lives can
change, and any one of us can become a
Sharon Kowalski.”

The second step is to take advantage of
the protections that the law offers. These
include wills, durable powers of attorney
for health care, living wills, and partner-
ship agreements. The documents must be
completed before a person's competency
can be called into question. Once that
happens, it's too late. Thompson feels
that it is preferable to use a standardized
document than to have none at all, but a
better solution is to see a lawyer.

The evening concluded with a short pres-
entation on the legal situation in Vermont,
with Susan Murray and Robert Paolini,
two Vermont attorneys experienced in gay
and lesbian family issues, as the resource
people. They echoed Thompson in stress-
ing the importance of completing the pa-
perwork. In addition to the standard
forms, a lawyer can draft documents to fit
special situations. These special docu-
ments can include a visitors’ list in case of
hospitalization, your own choice of guar-
dian in case you are ever incapacitated, or
a statement that you wish your power of
attorney to take precedence over a guar-
dianship designation in decision-making
(normally it does not). It is important to
establish your intent and reconfirm it over
time. Thompson, Murray and Paolini em-
phasized that single people must think
about these issues as well. Even if you are
in a relationship, you may decide to des-
ignate a friend or relative as your agent. If
you do choose your partner, it is a good
idea to name an alternate as well. You
could both be incapacitated in the same
accident. You should designate someone
who is going to be in your life for a long
time -- someone you can trust to respect
your wishes.

The best source for additional information
about the Sharon Kowalski case is Why
Can't Sharon Kowalski Come Home?, by
Karen Thompson and Julie Andrzejewski,

January 1992

published by Spinsters/Aunt Lute in 1988.
The book ends just before Sharon was test-
ed for competency in September 1988.
Nevertheless, its treatment of the first five
years of the case explains the events and
the issues clearly, movingly, and in detail.

Those wishing to contribute to the Karen
Thompson Legal Fund should send their

checks to 3070 Fulton Circle, Clearwater,
MN 55320. V

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