Cris: Not so much now. Because you
were damned if you did, damned if you
didn’t. If you didn’t say it out loud, peo-
ple would think you were homophobic. In
fact, I began to wonder that myself. What
it always felt to me, mysteriously, was
that by saying you were, so all these
women could feel good about themselves,
made me feel like they were putting me in
a closet. And I’d never felt like I was in
any closet in my whole life until that time.
I don’t like anybody to force me to do
anything. I want to say it, but I’ll get real
stubborn if you try to force me to say one
thing or another. And yet here I am - my
neck’s out on the line all the time. It’s a
very visible place for me because I’m a
very private person. And I’ve always
thought that’s the least interesting part of
my life. It is not what I write about. I
write about the human condition. Yes, I
am a lesbian. Yes. But I knew a million
men, and my life could have taken a
whole different turn. And sometimes I
think I’m not a lesbian like some of the
lesbians I know. I don’t easily fit into any
category. My music doesn’t. I don’t know
that that’s women’s music I’m making; I
wouldn’t describe it that way. But I don’t
know how to describe it either. So I’m a
person who doesn’t fall easily into cat-
egories.

OITM: How do you reconcile living a
very public life and being a very private
person?

Cris: That’s just the nature of it By being
unafraid. By wearing no armor. By walk-
ing out as I am. I’m the same person on-
stage that I am right here, sitting with you.
People have learned to believe that. By
the fact that I do what I do, I take it up on
the stage. And all that does is take it up to
a level, not better than, but more visible.
And you could say, more of a target also.
It’s the best seat in the house, though. I
love it. It’s a very powerful place to be. I
just did Carnegie Hall all by my little self.

What a night. I don’t know if I could ever
explain to anybody what a grand feeling
that is. To be so present at your own birth.
That’s what it felt like.

01 TM : And you filled it?

Cris: Yes. I just walked out. I hadn’t done
anything, and I stood for five minutes.
Just walked out there, my heart thunder-
ing in my chest. People stood, and I
thought, “They’re looking at me. I’ve
done something in my life already.” And
that’s magnificent. If I never do another
lick, I’ve done something that’s made a
difference. The little album that could.
The Changer and the Changed. Wow.
'I‘hat’s something.

OITM: Do you ever wish there were cer-
tain questions people would ask you?

Cris: I can talk about my influences, the
people I listen to and love and what I
think about, what I like to do, other things
I like to do in my life, like fishing, or
smelling a horse — the things that set me
right, make me feel at home on the earth.
That I think about dying constantly. Al-
ways have. It’s the one thing around
which my work centers.

OITM: How does it do that?

Cris: In that it’s all temporal, our ex-
istence here. And I don’t see why people
struggle so hard and are so hateful on this
earth when we could just get along. It’s so
simple. Give it up. Give up the borders.
Give up the struggle, the greed, the strug-
gle for money, which is meaningless. You
know, you just fly real high above the
earth - that’s my Aquarian nature - and
you look down and you go, “This is just
fruitless.” I’ve got work to do. And music
is my hope - that we can change the
world somehow. Every ar1ist hopes for
that, I’m sure. And by artist, I mean any-
body who does anything artistically, with

100 Main Street
P.O. Box 247

David W. Curtis
ATTORNEY AT LAW

HOFF, AGEL, CURTIS, PACHT‘& CASSIDY, P.C.

Burlington, VT 05402-0247

802-864-4531

17

December 1991

an eye for beauty and structure and de-
sign...But we live in these times. We’re
forced to look at horrible things. We’re
forced to know horrible things. And you
can’t go back once you’re on the path of
knowing, of knowledge. Where do you
find your path? Mine is right down the
middle. I walk wherever I want to walk, I
say whatever I want to say.

OITM: So how can you live in that kind
of world?

Cris: By making music. By picking up
this piece of garbage. By straightening up
my area everywhere I am. Everywhere I
go, I’m in my environment, and I try to
keep it clean everywhere I go. You can’t
fix it all up, but if it’s true that fixing the
small thing is like fixing the large thing,
that’s what I’ll do, because that’s some-
thing. Better than nothing. It’s something.
V

 

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