Out in the Mountains

Lesbian & Gay Parents:
Some Legal
Precautions

One of the reasons Susan Murray and
Susan Bellemare were willing to talk
publicly about this case is because they
want to help lesbian and gay parents
avoid similar legal battles. Murray says,
“The (legal) fiarnework fits these situa-
tions imperfectly, but we should certain-
ly take advantage of the law that is
there. I just can't emphasize enough
how important it is to get the paperwork
in order.”

Real protection will come when second
parent adoptions are legal. This has
happened a few times on the West
Coast. The first second parent adoption
on the East Coast took place in Wash-
ington DC in August 1991. Until this
happens in Vermont, Murray rec-
ommends that gay and lesbian parents
draw up the following types of docu-
ments with their lawyers.

1. First and foremost, a will. This is ab-
solutely imperative. Vermont law al-
lows a natural or adoptive parent (the
client) to designate a guardian ir1 his/her
will. Lesbian and gay parents should in-
clude a long and fairly personal par-
agraph in the will detailing the reasons
why the partner has been named guar-
dian. This can be done before the child
is born or as soon thereafter as possible.
The client should update the will no less
than once every three years, reaffirming
the guardianship designation and re-
stating the reasons. This provides a
paper trail, showing the consistency of
the client's wishes over time.

2. A power of attorney, giving the part-
ner equal rights to make decisions for
the child vis a vis the outside world: for
example, giving permission for the child
to participate in school field trips, or
making medical decisions on behalf of
the child. This document should be giv-
en to the school, the doctor, etc., and
should be restated every couple of years.

3. An affidavit from the client, stating
“This is the person I have chosen to live
with. We have chosen to have this child
together." It should go on to give the
reasons why the client wants this person
to be recognized as the child's parent. It
is a kind of letter to the world. It should
be distributed as widely as the client
finds comfortable, and should be kept
on file in the lawyer's office as well.
“The point is to say it early and often
and to as many people as possible, so it's
not a surprise.”

Hamilton Custody Case Finally Settled

Continued from page 1

Murray doesn't know why the Hamiltons
gave up. She speculates that they re-
alized I) that they couldn't win, 2) that
the case was going to be a nasty public
debate of private issues, and 3) that they
really did have access to Collin and a
good relationship with him under the ex-
isting arrangement. In fact, Bellemare
and the Hamiltons are now engaged in
the long, slow process of rebuilding a re-
lationship they believe to be in Collin's
best interest.

When asked if she's pleased with the out-
come, Murray says, “The lawyer in me
really wanted this to go all the way and
make some law in Vermont. I think that
by and large we have a relatively friendly
court system on this issue. Judge Cain
(the Probate Court judge) was clearly not
prejudiced by Susan's sexual orientation.
I don't know who the judge would have
been in Superior Court, but I could have
guaranteed that if we'd continued it and
litigated it until the end, the losing party
would have appealed to the Supreme
Court in Vermont. The Supreme Court
in Vermont is a liberal court, and most
likely would have made some good law
in this area. So I'm sort of sad that I
didn't get a chance to do that. But for Su-
san's sake and for Collin's sake, this is by
far the preferable outcome. They can get
on with their lives now. She feels that
her life has been on hold for two and a
half years...There's nothing in the stipula-

Susan Murray

tion that she conceded that she didn't
want to concede. There's nothing in the
stipulation that she feels uncomfortable
with...It feels great to me. It feels like
this is the right outcome, this is the way
it should be. I'm a lawyer, I'm a litigator,
and I suppose by definition, litigators
like to argue. But I feel just as good
when I can resolve something so that
everybody feels like they have won.
And I think that in some ways that hap-
pened here.”

Sage Russell V

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