mongamous relationship with an uni-
fected person, he is wrong. Denial can be
very dangerous.

Without minimizing the risks involved
(which may be considerable), when you
find yourself having unsafe sex, the point
isn’t to berate yourself for the fact that it
happened, but instead to figure out how it
can be avoided in the future. Learn how
to change the circumstances which may
make you more prone to unsafe sex. For
example:

- if being high or drunk contributes to
it, then learn to separate drinking or
drugs from sexual activity, or consider
treatment if you have a problem with
chemical dependency. .

- if you sometimes go ahead and fuck
without condoms when they aren’t
handy, make sure you plan ahead and
always have rubbers and lube avail-
able.

- if you find yourself unable to nego-
tiate when a partner wants unprotected
sex, try to role play first with a friend,
so at least you have sotne pre-

rehearsed lines for the next time the
situation comes up. And if that
doesn’t work, consider some short-
term counseling to help deal with as-
sertiveness skills and self-image
questions. And if the same guy keeps
pressuring, dump the jerk! You’ve
got the right to insist that your body
is treated the way you want, and
you’re better off without someone
who is willing to risk your health for
his pleasure.
The list could keep going, but the point
is rather simple: when unsafe sex hap-
pens (or comes close to happening) try
to figure out how you ended up in that
situation, and develop a concrete plan to
deal with it.

Others can help: talk about it, ask people
you trust about how they’ve dealt with it,
and figure out how you can keep having
sex safely. Just remember, you aren’t the
only one struggling with these issues -
most of us also face them continually.
No one said it would be easy, but the po-
tential pay-offs are tremendous. V

Forconfidenflal

AIDS
Information

 

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1-800-882-Al DS
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