(from preceding page) to court they can become very public and very messy. Arbitration cases are not pub- lie, and in arbitration there is no need to bring in the nature or quality of the relation- ship between the parties. The legal issues can be especially thorny where children are concerned. Gay people have children in a variety of ways. One of the most common is to bring chil- dren from a previous marriage into the new relationship. The issue here is one of main- taining a parental relationship with the child after a divorce. Wishik spoke primarily about lesbian custody cases in this respect. Vermont laws governing custody provide some protec- tion to the lesbian mother once her sexual orientation is known. Under Vermont laws the primary caregiver receives extra weight in custody decisions, and this is especially helpful for lesbian mothers. Evidence of LESBIAN AND GAY JOINING CEREMONIES WEDDINGS C® Create our own ceremony to cefe ate your [one and procfairrbyour spiritual union. fflmor t our refationsliip as you symb‘/Icflilicalfy procflzim tfie fioruf you cfierisfi. Rev. Giita Clark, ordained minister Counsefing to resolve ay aruflesfiian coupfes aruffamify issues. gay and Iesfiian couples , and parenting worfisfiops qflered. Erica Marks, S.A.C., C.H. Partners in Recovery and Growth 182 Main Street Burlington VT 05401 (802)-865-2403 parental conduct cannot be brought in un- less it has an impact on the child. If the former spouse fails to prove that a client’s lesbianism is harmful to the child, then the judge cannot hear it under the statute. Wishik feels that on the whole Ver- mont custody laws are good and Vermont judges have been reasonable when lesbian custody cases have gone to court. Never- theless, it is important to educate the judge in every one of these cases. Vermont is very sympathetic to gay people as foster parents, but adoption stat- utes are less clear and are not gender-spe- cifrc. Gay people have been able to adopt children in Vermont; that is, one of the partners can legally adopt the child. There have been a few cases in California where two women or two men have legally adoptedachild, but this has not happenedin Vermont or elsewhere yet. Another means of having children is through artifical insemination. The Women’s Health Center and the Vermont Medical Center, both in Burlington, have been receptive to lesbians wishing to have children through artificial insemination. In most gay parenting situations, there is a legal relationship between the child and one of the two parents, but not the other. If the partnership breaks up, the non-biologi- cal, non-adoptive parent has no legal stand- ing if he or she seeks visitation rights, no matter how long he or she has lived with the child. Most legal decisions on this issue in A rilI991 other states have been negative. Wishik recommends that a gay couple raising a child together make a co-parenting agree- ment which includes arbitration for dispute resolution. Agreements concerning children are not binding; nevertheless, they can help to document original intent— that is, that at the outset both partners agreed to share respon- sibility for parenting. Such an agreement can also help induce couples to resolve conflicts on their own and stay out of com. It is critically important that gay par- ents designate guardianship of their chil- dren in their wills. There is a well-known case in Vermont in which two women were co-parenting a child. The biological mother died in a car crash, and though she had named her partner as the child’s guardian in her will, the parents of the biological mother sued for custody of the child. The parents‘ claim was not recognized in pro- bate court because of ‘ the guardianship designation, and as of now, the non-bio- logical mother still has custody of the child. Though gay men and lesbians still have less recourse‘ to the law than hetero- sexuals in terms of family and parenting issues, there are still a number of options available to them which can make certain decisions and situations more easily nego- tiated. Becoming lmowledgable on these matters now could save a great deal of trouble and pain later on. Fifth Annual Golden Threads Celebration Planned The Fifth Annual Golden Threads Celebration will take place on June 28-30, 1991 at the Provincetown Inn in Province- town, Massachusetts. Lesbians from all over the United States, many from Canada and other countries, will converge in Provincetowntocelebrate who theyareand their age, whatever it is. Entertainment will be provided by Janice Perry, a.k.a. Gal. A banquet will be followed by dancing, with our own DJ playing the oldies. Rap sessions are also ‘ planned for the gathering. 0. In existence since 1985, Golden Threads is a worldwide social network of Lesbians over 50, and women who are interested in older women —- no lesbian is excluded. A contact publication, Golden Threads, is published four times a year. It lists many self-descriptions of lesbians, resources, book reviews and an editorial, all addressing the interests and concerns of the older lesbian. For more information on the organiza- tion, please contact: Christine Burton, Golden Threads, P.O. Box 3177, Burling- ton, VT 05401-0031. 15