possibly the most important day of our
lives! I want it to be perfect. Your
opinion, please! —— Worried Groom

ITE YOUR

Xfrnrrr PEARL

’ V
( 

Dear Auntie Pearl: This should be the
happiest time of my life because my
lover, “Scott” and I are getting married.
But there’s a problem that’s making us
miserable. It’s Scott’s father. When
Scott came out to him two years ago, he
slapped Scott and told him to never
come to the house again. I can’t tell you
how much it took for me not to go over
and give the old bastard a piece of my

mind or to slap him myself. But Scott
insisted that we just forget about it.

    

Dear Worried Groom: If you’re
looking for perfection, stay out of the
marriage game. Marriage is about
cooperation. Might as well start now.

Scott is attempting a reconciliation.
Don’t interfere. Dear Old Dad won’t
show up unless he’s ready to bury the
hatchet. If he thinks the invitation means
Scott forgives him, he’s right. And
darling, if Scott can forgive, you should
follow suit. You know what they say:
“To Err Is Human; Auntie’s Nephews

C0pyright1995 Are Di‘/inen_

>l<***=l=

Dear Auntie Pearl: I can’t believe I’m
actually writing this, but I’m at my wits’
end. My lover “Kathy” has a
screwed—up friendship with her ex,
“Dawn”, and I don’t know what to do
about it. They were together for 6 years,
and their breakup was mutual. Dawn is
still single. When Kathy and I got
together 2 years ago, I liked that she got
along so well with her ex. I thought it
showed that she was caring and that she

Now all ofa sudden Scott wants to didn7t hold grudges.

invite his father to our wedding! As far
as I’m concerned, this guy is just some
son of a bitch who hurt Scott terribly. If
we send him an invitation it will be as if
we forgive him. I don’t want him
disrupting our wedding. Even if he
doesn’t do anything, I’ll be so angry that
I won’t be able to enjoy my own
wedding.

But now I’ve had it. Anytime any crisis
happens to Dawn, Kathy runs to help
her. (A car wreck, the flu, fights with
her mother, messed—up taxes, to name a
few.) I know these are all hard things,
but I’m tired of late night phone calls
and Kathy running out of the house.
Right now she’s over there, on a
beautiful Saturday afternoon, because
she always balances Dawn’s checkbook,
and this is the only time Dawn could do

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to try to
protect Scott and keep our day sacred.
Scott says it’sjust one day, but it’s

    
 
 

Out in the Mountains

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13

February 1995

it. This is the first day off we’ve had in
common in two weeks, and she’s at
Dawn’s!

Am I being selfish? I don’t think so! But
what can I do? I even like Dawn, but
she’s not Kathy’s lover anymore! What
do I have to do? Get the flu to get some
attention around here? Please answer
soon! Thanks. —— The Other Woman???

Dear Other Woman: Who died and
made you Queen of the Spineless?
Readers, help your Auntie on this one,
but doesn’t checkbook balancing stretch
the definition of crisis a smidge?

What you’ve got on your hands is a
lover who hasn’t ended her last
relationship. Kathy never figured out
this mother-daughter thing with Dawn,
and now it’s doing damage to your
relationship. It’s one. thing to help out
an ex in need. It’s another to repeatedly
put her ahead of a current lover. Take a
stand, or nothing will change. Tell
Kathy to either sort her old baggage, or
you’ll gladly pack it for her and put it
on the curb. V

OUTSPOKEN:

OITM’s Quote of the Month

“Your readers should understand
that diverse sexual practices are also
common around these parts. In
many cases early homosexual
experimentation and bestiality are
just a prelude to eventually marrying
your cousin.”

Jim Wayland of Knoxville,
Tennessee, a reader of The
Advocate, in a letter to the editor

 

Vermont Gay Social
Alternatives
Founded 1990

For membership information write:
VGSA, P.O. Box 237,
Burlington, VT 05402-0237
or call Cliff 985-4937, Bob 865-3734