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Copyright 1994

Dear Auntie Pearl: I know you always
tell it “straight”, so I’m asking for your
help. I’ve been trying to talk my friend
“Ed” out of doing something extremely
stupid. He’s a college professor, and
he’s attracted to one of his undergraduate
students, who I’ll call “Tony”. Ed says
he can tell that it’s mutual, and he’s get-
ting closer to telling Tony how he feels.

Auntie Pearl, there’s twenty years be-
tween them! I hope you’ll agree that this
could never work, not to mention how
dangerous it is if anybody at the school
found out. I’m out of ideas, and I hope
you’ll give me a way to convince Ed that
he’s about to make a mistake.

Concerned
Dear Concerned: Age isn’t the issue

here. Power is. Teachers who bed their
students have nothing but their own in-

  

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terests at heart. Unless Tony is pre-med,
Auntie doubts he’ll be able to afford the
therapy it’ll take to dislodge from an un-
balanced relationship with an authority
figure.

You tell your Ed that his Auntie expects
him to enjoy his crush, but to handle it
responsibly. If Ed really cares about Tony
— and not just this particular student body
- he’ll wait to disclose his feelings until
after the final grades are in.

**=l<**

Dear Auntie Pearl: This letter is only
partly a question. Mostly, I want to say
something that’s overdue about how les-
bians have to hug each other every time
we see each other. I run into a friend and
she’ll hug me like it’s been years. And
then she hugs goodbye like she’s
shipping out tomorrow for the front. It’s
even worse when it’s somebody you
hardly know. I’m not the only dyke who
feels this way. But how do you back out
of hugging people you're already on hug-
ging terms with? I’m not out to be rude. If
I were, I’d hug somebody.

Don't Maul Me

Dear Don’t Maul Me: Auntie couldn’t
agree more. Indiscriminate clinging has
set sincere affection back decades. Make
a clean break. If a woman thinks nothing
of getting you in a clinch, she won’t feel
invaded when you grab her hand and give
it a heartfelt shake. If she tries — and she
will — to have her enmeshed way with
you, tell her you charge by the hour for
that sort of thing. V

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November 1994

Lori E. Dove
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