July/August 1994

Adults and Youth; Working Together to Build Community

Karin Eade

July and August are the typically slow
months for Outright Vermont. These
couple of months come after the crush of
spring thaw, where we ﬁnd schools and
colleges ending their semesters and trying
to fit in all their special programming. The
end of the academic year is also tough on
students and school staff as they deal with
the stress of endings and beginnings. Eve-
ryone seems to be at need during this time,
and Outright usually hits a financial crisis
right smack in the middle of all the chaos.

This year was particularly challenging, we
faced the Winooski School Board, the lVIil—
ton Administration, more young people
then every before demanding services, and
talk of laying off staff. -Once again we
made it through, more committed then ever
to the mission of fostering sensitivity and
understanding of the issues facing lesbian,
gay and bisexual youth and those ques-
tioning their sexuality.

It is summer when we have a chance to be-
come more reﬂective and less reactionary,
and this summer I find myself in need of

understanding the issues facing the lesbian,

gay and bisexual adult population as it
deals with the l,g,b youth movement in this
state. I am asked constantly why I think
l,g,b adults don’t get more involved with
l,g,b youth and I always respond blindly la-
beling it as internalized homophobia.
We’ve all heard the stereotypes, and we all
face the risk of being labeled as pedioﬁles
and recruiters as Outright was (maybe not
so bluntly) in Winooski this May. Many of
us personally know the harm pedoﬁlia
wields on it’s victims and none of us want
to run the risk of being wrongly accused.
Well, this was my response. I had the an-
swer, and as I conveniently ﬁled this in-
formation into my knowledge, I forgot to
remember the overwhelming feelings I ex-

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perienced that day I first entered a high
school to present a homophobia training.

The smells, and sounds were so astound-
ingly accurate to the history of my school
years that I was propelled through the past
10 years as if I had never left the institution
of my hell. By the time high school came
around, many of us already knew some-
thing was different about us. I know I did.
And high school is a cruel place for people
who are different, in an atmosphere of “sta-
bility through similarity” those of us who
were different threatened all that was hold-
ing the masses together. I didn’t want that
responsibility and shut myself off to the
feelings of adolescence. I tried to ﬁt into the
norm or at least the acceptable fringe. To-
day I hear young people telling me about
striving to accomplish the very same ma-
neuvers of my past, and I hope for change.

Maybe it is not just internalized homo-
phobia keeping l,g,b adults from taking part
in the lives of l,g,b kids. Maybe the haunted
memories of our youth, that first time re-
alizing we might be different from the oth-
ers, holds a powerful block between us and
the youth of today.

I know I have had to reconstruct my high
school memories to include the visions that
hrve been lock away. To remember how
such a “popular” young women felt such
isolation and to realize the energy wasted
on survival. I can’t help but feel dis-
appointed and cheated by the lesbian, gay,
bisexual and positive straight adults who
were in my life at that time of need. As an
adult, I know the feeling of sadness and
frustration of looking at a young person in
pain and struggling, yet not being able to
offer the support that young person needs.
As an youth agency director, I work to link

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to two, and help create an enviromnent in
which all people can understand their full
connection to each other. '

Maybe that’s why I choose to work at Out-
right Vermont. I know I want to help build a
community that includes youth/adult part-
nerships, and I know Outright Vermont is a
vehicle to realizing that community. I also
know that there are many people who are
needed to run this ship in one way or an-
other and the offering of rewards is quite
real. Please think about taking part in build-
ing a community that includes lesbian, gay,
bisexual youth and those questioning their
sexuality. You could be doing more than
helping the young people of today, you
could be sending a clear and supportive
message to the young people of the past. V

 

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