Out in the Mountains Call for Abstracts Jackie Weinstock and Esther Rothblum are interested in editing a book that fo- cuses on lesbians’ experiences of friendship. We are particularly inter- ested in hearing from lesbians and their friends about the ways in which being lesbian affects friendships. The book’s focus will be on actual accounts of friendships involving lesbians, with particular attention to friendships that portray a diversity of ages, ethnicities, genders, nationalities, physical abil- ities, races, sexualities, etc. We welcome submissions that rely on diverse formats such as letters ex- changed between friends, dialogues, poems, jointly constructed accounts of a friendship or separate accounts of the same friendship by its members, as well as single authored accounts. Authors are requested to submit a one- to two-page abstract or summary on this topic by May 1, 1994, including the type of friendships) selected for fo- cus, general description of the members of the friendship, the particular issues of friendship expected to be ad- dressed," and the format of their pro- posed work. Please send abstracts or summaries to Jackie Weinstock, Cen- ter for Developmental and Health Re- search Methodologies, The Penn- sylvania State University, S-211 Henderson Building, University Park, PA, 16802-6505, or via e mail to JSW4@PSUVM.PSU.EDU (on the Internet) or JSW4 @PSUVM (BIT- NET). The summary should include the author (s)name, address, tele- phone number, and a 2-3 sentence current biographical description. Also include an e-mail address if available. We will inform authors whether we would like them to write full-length pieces for the edited book. We hope to hear from people with diverse ex- periences of and reflections upon les- bians and friendship. V Read OITM Monthly WRITE YOUR AUNTIE PEARL 3/ Dear Auntie Pearl, Some of your sage advice is needed in New Hampshire! I have been gay since the age of 12 and happily so - it has been an adventure. I have danced on many a table and have had my share of lovers and affairs from here to kingdom come. However, for the past 20 years I have been in one serious monogamous relationship with a companion 25 years my junior (wedding rings, big home, possessions, pets, all of it). NowIarn60andforthepasttwoyearsthis person has “left my bed” and no longer sees me in his “crystal ball”, thinks life has passed him by and eagerly wants to explore “the road less travel ” in the hope that a Chippendale might want to hitch a ride. Suddenly, I look around and wonder ifl am the only aging homosexual existing in this area (ironic, the same as when I was a kid and thought I was the only one “that way”) who finds himself out on a limb? I am smart enough to know thatI am playing in a differ- ent ball game and cannot compete with the sweet bird of youth, something that bars and personal columns seem to deal with ex- clusively. Thus, I would like to meet some person or people near my own age to share experiences and anything else develops. But where does one start? I am a handsome man, in good shape, healthy, intelligent, well- read, active, independent, etc., etc., and theo- retically and statistically there just have to be more of us out there!!! Suggestions?? Sitting Here Counting My Fingere Dear Sitting Here, You are most certainly not the "only one that way". There are over a million American gay men in your age group. If you're not meeting any nearby, you'll just have to bring the White Mountains to Muhammad. 18 Start with the nearest city. Auntie can't fath- om the nurnber of her sixty-something Bos- ton nephews whose idea of heaven is a ro- mantic New England getaway with a landed gent like you. The Boston Gay and Lesbian Helpline (617-267-9001) may be able to give you the name of organizations for men your age. And, yes, put a personal ad in the Boston queer papers. And why stop at New England? Start a cor- respondence network for 60+ men. Put out the word in a national queer magazine ad. Lesbians over 50 connect through "Golden Threads" newsletter in Vermont. Why not New Hampshire for gay men? Think big! Your countrymen need you! While you’re waiting to meet your prince, get reaquainted with your single self. Pick up Gay and Gray: The older homosexual man by Raymond M. Berger. Try Everyone’s Books in Brattleboro, VT. The best is yet to come... Dear Auntie Pearl, Hi. I have a problem and I hope you can help me out. I was dating a guy named “ 0e” and the moment when our eyes met, I just knew that we were meant for each other. Well, we broke upafterdating for3 or4 months. Well, this September will be two years. The problem is I still remember mostly every- thing. I still think of him. It’s like he’s every- where. When I masturbate, he’s there. The real good one is that when I see someone who looks like him, I’ll look at him and then I'll go into the pits. This man has really changed me. Am I crazy or what? A Reader _ Dear Reader, You're not ‘crazy, so Auntie Pearl won't pull any punches. If you and Joe were “meant for each other”, you would be together. It’s over. Period. Enjoy your masturbation fantasies, but it's time to get a grip on other things too. Don't worry about your preoccupation with Joe. It was your way to keep him with you until you were ready to be alone or to risk a new relationship. Now you're uncomfortable with how much you think about him. Good! That means you're ready to move on. You must find a support group or therapist to help you deal with the pain you've suppressed. Leam to face the pain of love, and you'll find joy again. Write Your Auntie Pearl appears in publica- tions nationwuie. Send your questions or continents to: Auntie Pearl PO Box 4156 Burlington VT05406. V