Out in the Mountains YOUR Xfifiiri prwu. 3/’ Dear Auntie Pearl, I’ve been a loud proud dyke for 10 years. I work at a lesbian—owned business, I live in the dyke part of town, and whenever there’s a queer political action, I’m there. In short, my queemess is my life. So what’s the problem? Well, I’m shak- ing as I finally write these words: I have a male lover. I met “Tom” 6 months ago through my job — he does business with us. At first, I just thought he was a nice guy, but then I realized that I enjoyed his company. We started going to movies and ball games, and we’d have great con- versations. Then it dawned on me that I was attracted to him, and I couldn’t be- lieve it! We became lovers 2 months ago. It’s not like I was lonely. I have great group of fiiends, and I even have a sex buddy who I get together with when we feel like it I’ve slept with lots of women, and I’ve had 2 re- lationships — one for 5 years. I can’t tell anybody about Tom. I know how some of my friends feel about men, and I’ve heard a lot of them say they don’t believe in bisexuality. They think women who sleep with men shouldn’t be allowed at dyke events. I have so much to lose if anybody knows about this. So I’m alone with it. It’s terrible to keep a secret, but if Tom doesn’t work out, I’ll ruin my reputation for nothing. How do bisexuals do it? Please advise me. I can’t lose my community! Wian It Wae Eimple Again Dear Wish It, Well, hasn't the unexpected has reared its head. Auntie loves you for courageously telling the truth. Now give your friends the chance to do the same. If you’ve learned anything about pride in the last ten years, you know that you must end this silence. You’re already losing your community by hiding from it. Surely a gal with your credentials knows that the i n ‘V D.“ n. . _¢~.~,1 L. \~''. 5 1 ..“\‘.l‘_1‘ar_.Wj,‘r,:‘u:.i’¢ . Il_uil?}m '\i'fl|:u,t:_,;E&_u'§‘In7I§"; 3‘ ..Twin ables " Restore yourself in a quiet, - pastoral setting with easy ac- cess to hiking, skiing, canoeing, horseback riding, and cultural events at Dartmouth College and Woodstock. Reasonable rates and friendly hosts. A small B&B in Hartland Four Corners, VT. (802) 436-3070 for reservations. 4 queer movement is not about the right to be a homosexual. It’s about having pride in who you are. Anybody who tells you otherwise is no niece of Auntie Pearl’s. You came out— once. You can do it again. Get support. Tell a friend. If she turns her back on you, good riddance. Tell some- one else. A true friend will take it in stride. The only legitimate bone your friends have to pick with you is that you’ve kept silent this long. Your Auntie Pearl Dear Auntie Pearl, I think I just blew it big time with a good friend. I’ll call him “Robby”. He’s a great guy, but he’s naive. All my friends kind of keep an eye on Robby, because he’s so trusting. He’s kind of a little brother. He came out after the rest of us, and we know our way around better than he does. Recently, I saw him heading for trouble with this real asshole who I heard strings guys along and then dumps them after he gets money out of them. I heard that this guy’s good for a fuck if you know what you’re getting into, but Robby’s falling in love. So I told Robby about it, and he blew up at me. He said that he knows what he’s doing, and that the whole bunch of us are mother hens. Now he won’t return my calls. I’m really pissed, but I still worry about him. Every- body else gave up on him, but I was raised never to turn my back on a friend. How can I get to him before it’s too late? A Guy Who Carea Too Much Dear Guy, You’re no mother hen. If you were, you’d know that fledglings leave the nest and learn to deal with even the garniest cock in the barnyard. Back off. You had your say. Now it’s up to Robby. Your job as a Robby’s friend isn’t to protect him from all of life’s pit- falls. Your job is to believe in him. If Robby does get his heart broken, he may need you. So drop him a note. Tell him you’re behind him, and that you hope you’re wrong about his boyfriend. Your Auntie Pearl Write Your Auntie Pearl appears in pub- lications nationwide. Send your questions or comments to: Auntie Pearl PO Box 4156 Burlington VT 05406.