TE YOUR

X51311: piwu.
/ < V

 

Copyright 1993
Dear Auntie Pearl,

My girlfriend is the best thing to happen
to my sex life since vibrators went elec-
tric. So what’s the problem? She’s
LOUD! The neighbors look at me side-
ways, my roommate is losing sleep, and
my dog even started howling along once!
I know I’m not silent myself, but my girl-
friend sounds like I’m killing her — and
she can keep it up for like 20 minutes like
that. She says she’ll control it, but then
she’s back at it again. Is there some way
to fix this?

By the way, I’m totally into it myself. I
just don’t want to get arrested.

Coneidering Soundproofing in FA

Dear Considering,

Thankfully, medical science has dis-
covered no cure for ecstasy. A move — to
the country, or beside a missile testing

range — is in order.

Your Auntie Pearl

Dear Auntie Pearl,

My problem is that my lover, “Janet”,
isn’t out, and it’s making my life hell. It
was fine when we lived in a big city, be-
cause we never ran into people from her
job. But a month ago, we moved to a
small city, and now she’s afraid every-
body will know we’re lovers and she’ll
lose her job.

Before we moved, all my friends were
dykes. I used to go to all the dances and
concerts and so on, but I can’t now. I met
some dykes anyway, but I can’t even tell
them I have a lover. One day, Jane and I
ran into some dykes I met here, and Janet
was so rude, she wouldn’t even meet
them. She’s afraid they’ll out her, which
is stupid, because they’re really nice. But
she won’t even meet them to find out.

We don’t even go out to dinner together
anymore. About the only time we’ re in pub-
lic together is at the grocery store. To make
a long story short, Janet is making my life
miserable, and she says I have to think about
who’s bringing home the bacon. Auntie
Pearl, we got married in DC. When I said “I
do” I meant forever. How can I make this
work? I love her. Please help.

Karen

Dear Karen,

Good gracious, woman, stand up and
claim your place in the world! This mar-
riage has a divorce date to keep within a
year unless you two decide that Janet
isn’t the only person in this relationship.
Janet has a right to her privacy, but don’t
you dare accept a life of hiding and half-
truths. Your differences present po-
tentially disastrous difficulties which
didn’t exist before you moved. If there’s
a chance for this marriage, you’ll find it
at couples counseling. If staying together
means that one of you has to lose her
way of life, you’d better find out now
and cut your losses.

Your Auntie Pearl

_______ __—l

V Lesbians Who Love To Read

Trust Heartland Books to bring you the best in
lesbian reading. Discreet delivery. Annotated,
illustrated catalog. Linda Weiss, Proprietor.

l
l
l
l
l Mail coupon to:
l
l
l
l

l
I
l
I
I
 
P.O. Box 1105 A, E. Corinth, VT 05040 g
I
l

November 1993
Dear Auntie Pearl,

Ever since I lost my lover, Ron, to AIDS 3
years ago, I haven’t wanted to be with
anyone else. For the last year or so, my
sister has wanted to fix me up, but I can’t
do it. I know she has good intentions, but
it just pisses me off. My sister is a lesbian,
and she reads your column in her town. I
told her I was going to write to you, and
she said she’d look for your reply. Am I
off base, or should she back off‘?

NotA Lonely Guy
Dear Not Lonely,

Three years is long enough. Back in the
saddle with you, mister. Would you have
wanted Ron put to pasture if you had
been the one to die? Of course not. You
love him, and you’d want him to be hap-
py. Seeing as you have a sister with her
wits about her, there’s a chance that good
sense is in your genetic code. Let’s see
you use some. Auntie wants you out
there enjoying life.

Your A untie Pearl

Write Your Auntie Pearl appears in pub-
lications nationwide. Send your questions
or comments to: Auntie Pearl Box 4156
Burlington VT 05406. V

 

Celebrate the Holidays
Very hip gay & lesbian books,
calendars, jewelry. Women's
symbol cookie cutters, rainbow
candles, current gay, lesbian, bi
musicians on tape and CD!!l!!l!

All proceeds benefit
the Peace & Justice Coalition

Peace on Earth Store

21 Church St.

Burlington, Vermont
863-8326 5-