My dear, you must slow down! A new romance cannot give you what took 14 years for you and your ex to develop. Dating, courting, and making a life with a man deserves the same time and attention you used when you decided to marry your wife. Would you have considered a move to a new city with your ex just two months after you met her? Respect your queernessl When we come out, we believe that it’s all simply a matter of finding oth- er queer people. That works while we’re on our initial orgasm safari, but if we want a life’s partner, we need to find people with more in common than sexual orientation. Surely you didn’t marry your wife only because she is straight. Now Auntie must speak up for her Richmond nephews. You want a de- cent community? Be decent in it. When you get to Norfolk, find the people who’ll welcome someone with your talents and generous na- ture. They’re on committees plan- ning the gay picnic. They’re having coffee after the political action meet- ing. They’re housebound, and ea- gerly anticipating one of your home- cooked meals. They’ll give you the appreciation and connection you’ve been missing. Auntie would not be surprised if you meet a special gen- tleman through your new friends. Auntie acknowledges your concerns about racism. Many a niece and nephew has entered the queer world Out in the Mountains expecting to finally find total ac- ceptance, only to be faced with a dangerous ignorance which knows no sexual orientation. Find or create Norfolk’s Hispanic gay men’s group. This is not a dating tech- nique. It’s survival. Speaking of prejudice, you de- serve love for reasons other than the fact that you are not “fat or feminine”. Auntie cannot count the number of gals and guys who’ll happily sleep tonight in the soft arms of a great big, loving femme. Auntie is sure you wish to apologize to the majority of peo- ple with whom you share this planet who enjoy being a girl. Good sir, Auntie has great con- fidence that you’re heading in the right direction. You courageously left your wife to be with a man. Auntie wants you to be that man. Use your love and talent to pam- per yourself - and not just until the rightguy comes along. Auntie assures you that there are other sincere, loving nephews like you in the world. Be patient, invest in life,-and you’ll find them. Your Auntie Fear! Write Your Auntie Pearl appears in publications nationwide. Send your questions or comments to: Auntie Pearl Box 4156 Burlington VT 05406. Copyright 1 993 October 1993 A reative Design, Training and V Support .Servicesi 18787 PAUL ST Forconfidenfial AIDS Information VERMONT‘S NEWSPAPER FOR LESBIANS. GAY MEN. AND BISEXUALS By subscribing now to OITM, not only will you guarantee delivery to your mailbox (in a discreet envelope, of course), but you will also help under- write the rising costs of publishing the newspaper. We also welcome any additional contributions you can make to support our continuing existence. Checks should be made payable to OITM and sent, along with this fonn, to: OITM, P.O. Box 177, Burlington, Vermont 05402-0177. Name Address City State . Zip , El One-year ($20) Cl Low-income ($10) Cl Sponsor ($_:___Ij_ Sponsors are especially welcome from those who prefer to pick up 0 M at one of the paper's distribution points rather than be added to the mailing list. Cl Please also let us know if you'd like to get involved in the newspaper. 10-93 E Call 1 -800-882-AIDS V K J 13