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Out in the Mountains

Martha and Belinda’s Exce

Belinda Darcy

Louisville, KY to Staunton, WV

I made Martha drive this morning so \

that Icould, in her words, “go berserk
with the camera.” Kentucky is just gor-
geous. At 7:15 am, the rolling green
bills were cloaked in a thick blue mist.
I tried to get a shot of a trainer and her
horse, but missed and got the horse’s
butt instead. Damn. And she was wear-
ing jodhpurs and boots and everything!
Martha said it served me right. I was
supposed to be helping her figure out
where breakfast would happen, not
cruising unavailable women. I was
about to argue that we had no way of
knowing if she was single or not, but
decided I should quit while I was
ahead. Old habits die hard.

ARTISTS

Kara
&
Shellie

188 Shelbume Rd.
Burlington, VT 05401
802 o 658 o 4328

S-09-93-BM

TELEPHONE (802) 524-9595

Finding a breakfast spot proved more
difficult than we thought.We saw plenty
of signs beckoning us to cheap fast-food
joints, but nothing that sounded like real
food. And if turning out plastic burgers
and fries wasn’t bad enough, they had
the gall to plant giant billboards right
smack in the middle of the pristine land-
scape, wrecking any potential Kodak
moment. It was really depressing seeing
cows and horses grazing under a
“McDonald’s Happy Meals...Next exit”
sign. Martha told me that Vermont had
passed a law years ago, expressly for-
bidding such eyesores. As the morning
wore on, and our tummies began to
growl, we grew more desperate. Martha
finally made an executive decision and
pulled into a Shoney’s.

It was actually not too bad, apart from
the usual kids running loose and mon-
otonous muzak. We thought we de-
tected the strains of Sheena Easton’s
“For Your Eyes Only”, and “One” from
a Chorus Line. As we were leaving,
Martha , disappointed with her long-
awaited Homemade Biscuits, mentioned
to the cashier, Mary Sue, that she
thought they were “really salty”. With a
nod and a just-between-us-girls wink,
the lovely Mary Sue leaned over and
confided, “Pre-baked !”

Back on the road, we passed a sign for
the Appalachian Bible College, then a
series of huge, greek-revival/
antebellum mansions alongside run-
down shacks with sagging porches. I
was surprised to see how often this
configuration occurred and wondered
if the neighbors ever spoke to each oth-
er. What would they have to say to
each other? “Pardon me, do you have
any Grey Poupon?”

llent Adventure: Part 7

We reached the hotel in plenty of time
for a swim in the “indoor/outdoor”
pool. From the description I had im-
agined a pool with a rollback roof for
the summer. But, no, half of it really
WAS indoor and half of it outdoor. The
roof extended out over one half of the
pool and then a transparent, acrylic
wall descended to about 6 inches above
the walkway, neatly bisecting the tur-
quoise water. I could just see some-
one’s precious Little Jimmy running
smack into it. The other half was out-
door and looked over the golf course,
and steam from the heated water waft-
ed over the surface like dry ice. Very
ethereal and very strange. We swam
back and forth like a couple of seals,
fascinated by the changes in air and
water temperature. It was great fun
until local patrons of the hotel’s res-
taurant began to arrive for dinner.
The restaurant had a clear view of the
pool, and it became apparent that if
we stayed much longer, we were des-
tined to become the evening’s en-
tertainment.

Needless to say, we passed on the
dining room and the depressingly ge-
neric dark bar, opting instead for a
Pizza Hut pizza, followed by a big

Chocolate Sundae from room service ’

(“Because I want it, that’s why!”).
Martha tuned into the Miss America
Pageant (it was that or golf or Murder
She Wrote) and Miss Somewhere was
being “interviewed”. Her chosen plat-
form was AIDS awareness. “How
nice”, said Martha as she zapped her
into oblivion with the remote con-
trol.V

( to be continued)

Lynn Goyette, M.S.,M.A.

CAROL L. THAYER, M.D.
FAMILY PRACTICE

R. D. 2, BOX 1160
FAIRFAX, VERMONT 05454

OFFICE HOURS
BY APPOINTMENT
04/94

Feminist Counseling & Psychotherapy

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Burlington Montpelier
802-860-6360

03/94