Out in the Mountains Write Auntie Pearl Dear Auntie Pearl, I hope you can give me an objective opinion. My lover and I broke—up a year and a half ago, and we're still living to- gether. “Sally” is like family to me, and even though we couldn't work it out as lovers, we're great roommates. My problem is that my friends say this is wrong, and that we should move apart. Sally and I both disagree. I'm afraid that if I listen to my friends, I'll lose a lot. But if I don't listen, they'll never let up. What do you think? Sign me: Homebody. Dear Homebody, Auntie Pearl's First Rule of Friendship applies here: Friends may only share opinions with us in response to the fol- lowing questions: 1) What do you think? 2) This won't kill me, will it? 3) Mind if I slip into something more comfortable, such as your lover? In all other circumstances, your friends must clam up and love you through a lifetime of your most dreadful decisions. And darling, this is one of them. Once you insist that your friends stop clouding your thoughts with their noise, you will- I pray—begin to see things clearly. You will realize that if being “like family” were grounds for non—separation, you would still be living with Mom and Dad. You will see that moving out doesn't nec- essarily mean losing Sally, or your pet iguana, or the Ginsu knives. Auntie Pearl is concerned. Some people are reluctant to leave a situation which took years to become acceptable to their families. Others who are closeted, fear that the pain of separation will be so great that the truth will become obvious to everyone from homophobic eo- workers to the nosy mail carrier. Auntie does not want you and Sally to continue to give up your individual lives in order to cling to the best part of an otherwise unsatisfying relationship. You both de- serve to find out what you can each be apart. I guarantee that you will emerge from this transition a proud woman who is more confident in her ability to handle anything, and who is skads more lively on date night. If your friends want as much in- volvement in your life as it sounds, tell them that the support you'll need in the coming months will give them plenty to do. Move out and move on. Dear Auntie Pearl, After 5 years together, my lover, Gordon, and I have decided to sell our houses, PO Box 220 Hyde Park. Vermont 05655-0220 (802) 888-4l00 Office ‘ (802) 888-2977 Home Introducing... "Feel Head and Shoulders above the crowd" :§C\ \ VALERIE WHITE \ Humanist Minister .1/2 hr, Head, Neck, and Shoulder American Humanist Association Massage Namings - Weddings - U nion Ceremonies - Memorial Services Leah Wiflenberg 864-6764 Where to Find OIT M Bennington East Bamet Northfield Bennington Free Library Innwood Manor Brown Public Library Bennington College East Hardwick Norwich Bennington Library Greenhope Faun Social Alternatives for Gay Men Record Rack Fair Haven Plainfield Southern Vermont College Fair Haven Free Library Woman's Study Program Brattleboro Hardwick Putney Brattleboro Food CoopCahoots Buffalo Mountain Coop Putney Library Common Ground Galaxy Books Randolph Everyone's Books Lyndonville Kimball Public Library Burlington Jon's Automotive Rutland Burlington College Project EXCEL, Lyndon State College PFLAG Chassman & Bern Manchester Center Rutland Free Library Fletcher Free Library Northshire Bookstore St. Johnsbury Parmers in Recovery & Growth Middlebury LUNA/NEVGALR c/o Umbrella Peace & Justice Center Middlebury Natural Food Coop Natural Provisions Pearls Montpelier Regional Library Plarmed Parenthood Bear Pond Books St. Johnsbury Athenaeum Castleton Horn of the Moon Cafe Stowe STEP Learning Center Rivendell Books Food for Thought Chester Woman Centered White River Junction Misty Valley Books Chester Morrisville WRJ Books Craftsbury Morristown Centennial Library Upper Valley Coop Craftsbury Public Library Newfane Williamstown, MA Center Rutland Moore Free Library Wild Oats Co-op Rutland Area Gay/Lesbian Connection Newport Or by Subscription mailed right to your door! Northeast Kingdom AIDS Coalition J 14