Out in the Mountains A Different Life: What Names Love? by Patricia J. The first time I fell in love with a man took me by surprise, as I was already several years into a long-tenn relationship with a woman. It happened at my brother's wedding; Michael was the bride's brother and my partner during the entire event. We made a lovely couple, to all appearances, and I was caught up in the romance and music, the idea of being like other women who had a man to dance with and beside whom they identified thetnselves. (I was raised in the 50's in a suburb where all families were "intact," all couples were male/female.) And in fact I liked him and found myself amazed that the feelings were mutual. In the following 48 hours I experi- enced both his family and mine encourag- ing and enjoying our relationship, includ- ing us in talk of their relationships as they never had before. Suddenly I had some- thing very basic in common with them all, and the energy was irresistable. When he kissed me goodnight the rest of my life felt more than a state away -- which it was at that moment, where my housemate and dogs were waiting for me to return. I felt I'd walked through a secret door into the world where everyone else lived... "Come to the party, Friday night." "Want to get together when you come back next month?" My parents and brother were obvious in their delight at the prospect that Michael and I were interested in each other, as was his family. That momentum fed whatever flame of feeling there was between us for a couple of months. I lived with the profound tension between falling in love with a stranger (and man) and being in love with a friend (and woman). Fortunately, I lived at a distance, which provided me with some needed per- spective. in Walter I. Zeichner, MA, NCC Theresa Bacon, MA , L Wellness Programs Sou rce presents B ~ Bise;