Out in the Mountains

Martha and Be|inda’s Excellent Adventure: Part3

Belinda Darcey

Day 3: Purgatory, CO to Colorado
Springs,C0

Back in the car at 6:46 pm — a new record.
Martha’s puffy eyes and my ominously
scratchy throat - the first signs of stress
since leaving California. But we still have
seven more days with an average of seven
hours of driving per day, before we reach
Vermont, so we’re in serious denial mode.

Breakfast at Jake’s Cafe: eggs, hash-
browns and toast plus the usual double
takes. This was not the first time that Mar-
tha’s short hair and androgynous, baggy
clothing had puzzled a stranger. (De-
pending on her mood, they might receive a
stony stare in return, or a “How ya doin”’
in a voice deep enough to only confuse
them further. She’s somewhat kinder to
kids. It’s their brainless parents that send
her into orbit.) Moments like these remind
us of precisely why we are avoiding driv-
ing through the Deep South.

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The Pet Shop Boys and Sophie B Hawkins
(rumored to be dating Jody) got us through
the morning. I think we’re hitting the wall
so to speak. We’ve upped the cruising
speed to 75 mph, and we’ve been dipping
into the cooler every 10 minutes. It’s
jammed with our favorite little beverages:
cranberry spritzers and fat little Martinelli
apple juices. (Martha’s come a long way
since her 6—pack—a—day habit...Diet Coke).
The Official Snack Box, with its Fig New-
tons (aka “squashed flies”), economy-
sized Oreos (“Hey, it’s a long trip! We’ll
need this many...Really.”), cashews, spicy
tortilla chips, pretzels, and Health Valley
Granola Bars helped alleviate the bore-
dom. But after a 20 minute stop for lunch-
and—leg-stretch, I’m still restless, and have
graduated to actively picking a fight. Mar-
tha, having already spotted the signals, re-
fuses to engage, and opts instead to recline
the passenger seat and blast Bruce through
her Walkman (for the 18th time this trip!)
I have no choice but to take it out on the
accelerator. We start making good time.
Martha nods off. Bitch.

Colorado looks like Vermont. A lot. Post-
card views, clean air, snow on the moun-

‘ tain tops... Oh God. We’ve really left

California. What the hell are we doing
moving to Vermont? Where are we going
to live? What if we can’t find jobs? What
if there are only three other dykes there?

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MARTHA A. WI LMOT

Nationally Certified Massage Therapist
Brattleboro, Vermont

(BB2) 387-2660
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And they hate us? And how could we
move to the same town that her parents
live in? And we’re going to freeze our
LA asses off! What the hell were we
THINKING?!!

Martha surfaces about and starts ad-
miring the fall leaves and telling me
how pretty Vermont is in the winter.

We get lost coming into Colorado
Springs. We (and the car) are running on
empty. By the time we find the hotel, I’m
too tired to argue with the uptight re-
ceptionist over the fact that “a king bed is
unavailable at this time”. Martha escapes
to the pool. I languish about the room,
have a good long cry and a hot bath.

Later, after I discover that Martha has
washed and vacuumed out the car (God
love her), we find some books on tape at
a local mall and try shopping for a bath-
ing suit for me (since mine was packed
in the moving van). Of course I have no
luck finding anything remotely at-
tractive. All I want is a plain black one-
piece. We end up at Dos Hombres, Col-
orado’s version of a Mexican restaurant.
(Not). I hope Burlington has a decent
Tex-Mex/Margarita joint. Or we may
just starve. V

To be continued.

Rm. 3E

Lynn Goyette, M.S.Ed., M.A.C.P.

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860-6360

2 Church St.
Burlington, VT