Safer Sex Without a Condom

(Ed. Note: The following article deals
with sexual information in an honest and
explicit fashion. Rather than censor what
we feel to be important educational infor-
mation, we Ieave our readers to exercise
their own judgment in reading this piece.)

"I hate condoms! They're such a tum-
off, they're too much work, and I can't stand
the way they feel."

Tired of using condoms? Well, you
don't have to, and you can still protect
yourself against AIDS and HIV.

When people talk about safe sex, the
focus is almost exclusively on condoms.
Information campaigns, AIDS educators,
and public health officials all remind us, in
one form or another, "Don't forget your
rubbers."

But these public health campaigns
take a rather narrow view of our sex lives,
presuming that all we know how to do is
fuck, and ignoring the myriad of other ways
that we really have sex. .

While it is true that condoms are an
essential part of protecting yourself and
your paruiers if you are having anal or
vaginal intercourse, there are countless
other sexual activities that simply don't
involve putting anyone at risk for infection.

Somewhere along the line, our hetero-
sexual culture decided that it isn't really sex
unless it involves a penis going into some-
one's body, and a lot of gay men have
bought into that But when it comes to sex,
we can be more creative than that.

Simply put, there's a lot more to good
sex than fucking. And lots of reasons to
explore other activities.

Maybe you've just met someone and
neither one of you has a condom handy, but
you really want to go ahead and have sex.
Maybe you're just starting a sexual rela-
tionship with someone and you don't feel
ready for fucking. Maybe you don't trust
condoms to really provide the protection
you need. Maybe you and your partner are
both "bottoms" or both "tops."Maybe one

The possibilities are limited only by our
imaginations.

Almost everyone has some experi-
ence with masturbation - at least by them-
selves - but the variations on mutual mas-
turbation can be practically endless. For
some men, the sight of another man jerking
off is a major tum-on, and a pair watching
each other even more so. For some the
positions involved in this can enhance the
excitement - straddling someone's chest
and jerking off onto their chest or face is a
common favorite. Perhaps you'll find you
enjoy watching from across the room --
where you are just far enough away from
each other to tease yourselves with it. And,
of course, more than two can play at this
game - and sometimes a whole group of
guys masturbating is a real visual and
audio delight.

Watching each other can be made
even more enjoyable by combining it with
other tum-ons -- jock straps, slowly strip-
ping, tom clothing, uniforms, cock rings,
dirty talk.

For some, watching each other mas-
turbate is a tum-on because it reminds
them of similar youthful experiences: the
high school locker room, the camp-out
trips with friends, etc. If that's a plus for
you, play it up and fantasize about it - tell
each other stories, remind yourselves what
was enjoyable about it, act out favorite epi-
sodes of the sort from the past.

For others, this reminder of the days of
surreptitious teenage sex is just as likely to
be a tum-off. Just watching someone else
isn't going to do it for them.

Holding another man's penis in your
hand (or yours in his) is pretty damn safe,
and once you've got it in your hand, there
are all kinds of wonderful things to do with
it.

(continued on page 8)

September 1990

 

 

Forconfidenfial

AIDS
Information

Call
1-800-882-AIDS

    

of you has a penis too big for the other one
to take comfortably (a happy problem for
some). Maybe you're tired of the "suck and
fuck" routine and you want some variety.
Maybe you've just plain never particularly
liked anal sex in the first place.

Whatever the reason, safe sex without
acondom is worth exploringzit can be every
bit as hot, enjoyable and intense as inter- 1
course, and can be a lot less predictable. ‘

Green Mountain Counseling
Associates in Feminist Therapy
Dina Afek, M.A. Carol E. Cohen, M.S.W.

- Life and Career Crises - Substance Abuse and
c Infertility Co-dependency
- Gay and Lesbian positive ° Troubled relationships

Individuals, Couples, Groups ' Sliding Fee
Burlington 864-5595